THESHITSHOWS
Everything is in the name as they say!
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THESHITSHOWS
come join with any question we read on the air and during live shows.
THESHITSHOWS
DADS WITH DIAPERS AND HALLOWEEN HYPE
What would the world look like if men could have babies? Picture this: fathers bonding over diaper changes and CBD products for pain relief. Our latest episode kicks off with this whimsical question and a hearty dose of humor. We navigate through the light-hearted world of hypothetical parenting, sharing laughs about the challenges and unexpected joys men might encounter in this alternate universe. With our special guest, Miss Stephanie, adding her delightful insights, we transition smoothly into conversations about intimacy in marriage, touching on everything from average sexual activity to the importance of non-sexual affection.
As Halloween looms, we shift gears to discuss plans filled with spooky drinks and treats for the little ones. We dissect the weekend’s sports dramas, zeroing in on the Cowboys and Eagles, and toss around our ideas for a new show intro song. Spirited debates ensue, steering clear of politics while urging everyone to get out and vote. We also reminisce about the cinematic depiction of the Eagles’ open tryouts, joking about our own improbable dreams of joining a professional team.
The festivities ramp up as we dive into Halloween antics with Miss Stephanie, who brings an extra spark to our celebrations. From cheering on the Cowboys to Craig's upcoming romantic cruise escapade, our casual banter covers it all. We wrap up by embracing our Texas roots, proudly riding swangers, flaunting diamonds, and sipping lemonade. Don't miss out on this colorful episode jam-packed with laughter, insights, and a whole lot of fun!
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Yeah, this is a shit show. I'm Craig, this is Mike. Get you some of this, kel Wetzel. I think we need to change our incoming song.
Speaker 3:Intro. I think we should do that, maybe like once a month, once a month.
Speaker 1:I tell you what if you would like us to create a song or something for you, send us an email. What song do y'all want to hear?
Speaker 3:Yeah, send us what your comments are on what you would like to hear there could be some hooligans out there with some bullshit, though I mean I. Your comments are on what, what you would like to hear. There could be some hooligans out there with some bullshit, though I mean I'm I'm okay with playing some two live crew.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. What do we get for five dollars? Anything you want, everything. I wish that was the case. You know it's hard to get anything you want for five dollars, even at five dollars or less, right it's hard out here for a pimp. Right, right, right. I got a joke for you.
Speaker 3:Oh shit.
Speaker 1:How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know. Depends on how many you throw at it. That's fucked up. It's pretty dark. Oh, it's good stuff.
Speaker 3:It's actually a good joke. You don't tell too many good ones. I don't tell too many it's definitely y'all.
Speaker 1:Both y'all suck at telling jokes. Well, no, well, maybe so, maybe so. So what's up, man? Shit man, I've just been busy just been busy, you know. You know, we uh good, oh no, I'm just good I'm busy, I know we talk about politics, but we can guarantee you there's no politics on this show tonight. Hell yeah, fuck them politics, politics, fuck them politics. But I can't go without saying Do go vote though.
Speaker 3:Yeah, do go vote, do go vote. That's the only politics we don't go with.
Speaker 1:I will say how about them Cowboys, right.
Speaker 3:Bro, I think other Mavericks are playing now. That's what I'm talking about, right there.
Speaker 1:I actually was watching the World Series the other night.
Speaker 3:That's how bad it is the sucky thing is they're 3-4. They're not out of the race. I think Washington will start to fall after the second half of the season Dan.
Speaker 3:Quinn looks fucking amazing as a coach, yeah, but I just think after the first and now you've got their quarterback he's got an injury that's going to nag him all year. I just think he's going to be a good quarterback, but I think that this year, after the second half, they'll start to fall off here in the next month Just because they don't have the depth Come December. Yeah, yeah, the depth and everything.
Speaker 1:That makes sense. What about the Eagles? The Eagles put ass.
Speaker 3:Let's see if they can do it two weeks in a row. They've done that this year. They've they. They look good and then they suck, and then they look good and they suck. So they're. I'll tell you what cowboys does not look good at all, not good at all. But the problem is, is they? They hound the cowboys. Now, I'm a cowboys fan. I'm not necessarily defending them, but they always talk about the cowboys. Nobody's talking about the eagles. The eagles are, granted, they've only lost two games now I think they're six and two or something like that but even when they won, they've looked terrible for the squad that they have. If the cowboys had the same lineup and looked the way they would be.
Speaker 1:Talking so bad about the cowboys but not the eagles, yeah well, everybody loves to hate the cowboys and I'm cool with that there's two people that like the cowboys or that are, you know, the people that hate the Cowboys, which still, they talk about the Cowboys. So the Cowboys are always in somebody's mouth. Wow, that's pretty good, huh.
Speaker 3:I'm trying to be in somebody's mouth.
Speaker 1:I'm always trying to be in somebody's mouth.
Speaker 3:You know Well, man, we got Halloween coming up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what do we got planned?
Speaker 3:I know you got your annual event yeah, and you know, this year we're doing, uh, we're doing what's called john. Daily, every year I do a alcoholic drink, margarita or something like that.
Speaker 1:This year we're doing vodka and iced tea not for the kids, by the way yeah not for the kids.
Speaker 3:The kids get corn dogs. I've got 120 corn dogs, as well as full-size candy nachos, stadium style nachos with the chili and the liquid cheese.
Speaker 1:I think I'm going to dress up and scare kids again this year, again this year. But I think I'm going to sit in a chair and be still, and just be still with a bowl of candy in my lap.
Speaker 3:We'll have the TV going, we'll have the picture-in-picture going, because you got the Mavericks playing the Rockets and then the Saints are playing. I think Carolina Fuck them Saints. So you know my bonus wife, she's going to watch the Saints.
Speaker 1:I tell you what. The only team that's worse than the Cowboys right now is the Saints. They're bad.
Speaker 3:They're having open tryouts. Open tryouts.
Speaker 1:You know, the Jets or the Eagles did that years ago with Dick Vermeule. Wasn't that what that movie was about?
Speaker 3:Is that when Mark Wahlberg did that? Yeah, that was a pretty good movie. Though I like that story, it was all right. I'm thinking about going and trying it out Shit.
Speaker 1:All right, Somebody can try it out.
Speaker 3:I can't even make it up these stairs to get up here, much less.
Speaker 1:It'll run.
Speaker 3:I got to hold on to the railing and shit to get upstairs to come do the show.
Speaker 1:But that would be a miracle, though. If you made the team, it would be like the longest yard.
Speaker 3:I just don't know what the hell I would do, like what position I would play. I can't even hold the ball for the kicker, because that means I got to get on one knee. Oh yeah, you'd be fucked. And then, if I bobble the snap and I got to get up and try to tackle someone that ain't happening, or run the ball, oh yeah, that's six points for them all day long oh, those cowboys.
Speaker 1:Well they, they piss you off every time. Hey, what are you gonna? Do you know, if you're a diehard cowboy fan, which? If you're a cowboy fan, you're a diehard cowboy fan yep and man, they just, they just. It might as well be a Boston Red Sox. You know the curse, I think the curse. When did he start calling it the curse? You know Babe Ruth's curse was at the Red Sox. We'll call it the Jimmy Johnson curse.
Speaker 3:That's a good one.
Speaker 1:Ever since he left.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean we won the one with.
Speaker 1:Barry Switzer, but it was Jimmy Johnson's squad.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was Jimmy.
Speaker 1:Johnson's squad and Chan Gailey, wasn't it?
Speaker 3:Chan Gailey yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wasn't it, but still.
Speaker 3:Well, no, Chan Gailey, it was Barry Switzer.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:They won the one in Arizona against Pittsburgh.
Speaker 1:I think it was, and that was Jimmy's boys. Until we get rid of Jerry Jones, fuck, somebody needs to put a hit on that guy. Golly, I mean really dude, stephen A Smith would love it up. Dude, as much as he loves the Cowboys, somebody told me he actually secretly loves the Cowboys.
Speaker 3:That's why he hates them so much. If he loves the Cowboys, that's rough because that man talks so bad about the Cowboys.
Speaker 1:I like the scene after a good Cowboy loss because it actually brightens my day to watch him talk shit. I don't watch.
Speaker 3:That's one thing. When the Cowboys, even when they win. I don't watch Stephen A Smith, period. I can't stand Stephen A Smith, stephen A Smith when it comes to football, and then Tim Legler when it comes to basketball, because he never gives the Mavs any credit. Ever, ever, ever.
Speaker 1:How did the Mavs do last night?
Speaker 3:The Mavs did well. They didn't have the best game, they still won. It was a good game. Luka had his defining moment. He shot a three-pointer to seal the game from pretty much half court. Last year when he did that he yelled out you can't fucking guard me. This year he hit that pretty much sealed the game, looked at the crowd and said that's what I fucking do. Wow, give it to Luka. Yeah, give it to Luka. But they're looking good, the three-headed monster they got. The bench has got to step up, but it's still early. You've got to wait until at least after Christmas to kind of get a feel of what's going on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, I don't know. Hopefully we get to go to a couple more games this year. Yeah, that'd be nice, it would be nice, that would definitely be nice.
Speaker 3:Hint, hint, work on that shit. That's what I do. Yeah, well, what I do is I do emails. This is our new email song.
Speaker 1:I got to start labeling this shit. I hit it again. Fuck it. Hey, you like the new email song? Mike's actually currently rewriting our new email. He's my wife.
Speaker 3:We're going to do a remix. Yeah, a remix, there we go. So we got an email from mr mike hunt. I said that too fast, mike hunt, you did that shit on purpose. I think his name was mike. No, that's what I'm saying. He did that shit on purpose. His name's not Mike Hunt, right? He wanted me to say Mike Hunt, what came first, the chicken or the egg?
Speaker 1:So, man, that's a lifelong question, right? Everybody's been asking that for years. What do you think come first?
Speaker 3:I mean you still would have to have the chicken first to lay the egg. I think oh.
Speaker 1:I agree, we're you know I'm really, but where did the chicken come from?
Speaker 3:God Jesus, where did Organisms yeah, I mean, now I have a brain fart Adam and Eve? They weren't babies, were they?
Speaker 1:No, they weren't babies, they were.
Speaker 3:So they were created.
Speaker 1:She was supposedly created out of man's rib.
Speaker 3:But they were. So the chicken doesn't have to. It was just created to Just showed up. Show up Just like Adam and Eve Show up and create eggs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree with you on that. I definitely think it was a chicken.
Speaker 3:I mean because it would be like any animal, like where did the cow come from? It just showed up out of normal Right.
Speaker 1:Like it was Right.
Speaker 3:It was.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, organisms. Yeah, you know I don't. Everybody believes the Moses story. Was Moses the one who had the boat? No, that was Noah.
Speaker 3:Noah's Ark.
Speaker 1:I don't believe in the Noah's thing.
Speaker 3:There's one in North Carolina or something like that. They built a Noah's Ark.
Speaker 2:It's like a museum, you can go.
Speaker 3:Looks pretty cool, pretty cool.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to say the chicken I'm saying chicken.
Speaker 3:That's my answer chicken it is going with chicken for 500. So that was it. Thanks, uh, mr mike hunt, for sending us an email. The next one is from miss sarah. She wants to know if men could have babies. What would you want?
Speaker 1:Would you have one first of all, if men could have babies, I don't know. Or would you adopt man? I don't know. No, I'm saying if it was either or the woman or the man.
Speaker 3:If it was either or the woman or the man, that's kind of like a weird hypothetical question, because we can. What if the roles were switched and men had to start having babies? From here on out, like year 2025, all men must have babies.
Speaker 1:I'm going to tell you right now the world would come to an end.
Speaker 3:I'm just saying.
Speaker 1:Oh dude.
Speaker 3:It's got to come out of your butthole too. There's only certain men that would actually pull that off. It's going to be a shitty baby. Yeah, it'd be a shitty baby.
Speaker 1:It'd be like a fucking Snickers bar, I guess. But no, what's the creamy nuggets?
Speaker 3:Nugent. So you know how you see it like in the movies and even in real life. When women have a baby, you know they wrap it up in like a little blanket and hand it to them and the mom, it's all you know. It's got this white film and it's blue and just blood still, but the mom holds it and still kisses the baby. But if it would come out looking like a Snickers bar, would you still do that man? I don't know, craig would be like get that motherfucker away from me. He stinks, He'd start throwing up and shit, I'm not hangry.
Speaker 1:I'm going to tell you if men, if the roles were ever you know, it was always the case that men could have babies and women, I'm going to say no, I'm going to pass on that.
Speaker 3:That's the only way to reproduce. I mean, I would have to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but what if it was you or your wife could do it. It wasn't just a you.
Speaker 3:We could choose who could have the baby. Well yeah, I mean, if it was you, it wouldn't be a choice, because the wife would always say I'll do it because you don't know what you're doing. They wouldn't let us do it.
Speaker 1:If it was a choice, that's true too. So, but then again, you know, I just I think the world would come to an end when you're in your world.
Speaker 3:There would there be a lot of a lot of people out there that would have babies hey, bottle babies. I, like I said, if that was the only way that I was gonna be able to have a kid, then I'd do it I can see you pregnant we need some weed. But a lot good stuff too, not that shit from the cbd store I'm gonna say no.
Speaker 3:So, speaking of the cb cbd store, me and stephanie went in the other day and, uh, because we went and had uh early dinner at wing stop and I like to go eat there because by the time it gets there the fries are just sucking. Anyways, enough about wing stop. But we're sitting there and I saw this lady walk out with a bag of gummies. So I was like I'm going there Just ask some questions, because I had bought a bud from there before and it just doesn't do anything. So I asked him I was like you know, does it work? He said yeah. I was like how long does it work? For he goes maybe an hour, two hours tops. I was like okay, well, I guess he saw how I was walking and he suggested this hemp oil. It's $80 for this little bitty bottle, like I don't even know how many. I'd say eight ounces, six ounces. Did you buy it?
Speaker 1:No, but it worked.
Speaker 3:Well, I thought about it as I left and it was buy one, it was BOGO, so I get two bottles for 130 or some shit like that, but so I may try it. I don't know, we'll see. But he said you just drop it in your mouth. It's like a just a little bottle. You pull up that has the little suction dropper. Yeah, the dropper on it put two or three drops in your mouth and he said, uh, basically it just calms you down and yeah, but that's a uh so it doesn.
Speaker 1:So it doesn't help your knees and stuff.
Speaker 3:Well, no, no it does. It's a I forgot what they said A lubricant. No it's not a lubricant, it's a. It just helps with the pain. It's like a pain reliever, but I forgot the word for it.
Speaker 1:You know me.
Speaker 3:I'm bad with them words. I feel you. I feel you, except bad words. I can say those all the time. But thank you guys for your emails. Yeah, we really appreciate them, as always. I love them because that way I don't have to come on air and cry about not getting emails.
Speaker 1:All right, all right, all right.
Speaker 3:Two birds with one stone on that one.
Speaker 1:So I got to bring up a topic that's probably on everybody's mind oh, blowjobs, no oh. That's what's on how often is it that you know an average marriage, right, your normal average marriage. What is an average? An okay, average amount of sex you should be having?
Speaker 3:So I will say this You're asking the wrong person Because you know our wives are, we're close and I am. Me and Selena are one in the same when it comes to this. Yeah, I'm not.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't ask. It's not, not at all.
Speaker 3:But I'm saying in general, can I can only mainly speak. For me is I'm not very sexually driven, I don't have to have it. Um, like most men you have to have it. But when I do it, you know we we get it on, it's good. But so I would think, I would think I would say probably once a week.
Speaker 1:Once a week To keep a man happy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'd say that you know, maybe a handy or a blowy every once in a while. Shit A surprise blowy, those are the best.
Speaker 1:Listen if you are married and you're still getting handies and blowy on a regular. Good for you, sir. Good for you Because we all know after you put a ring on it, them handies and blowies go out the door, they gone. You'd be like this bitch done, catfished me. I mean, that's every relationship that I know of. Like I said, if you're still married, happily married, you're still getting handies and blowies on a regular good for you.
Speaker 3:I salute you, sir. I mean know we got friends that are younger than us that uh, they, uh, they have sex regularly and uh, when we get around them they tend to talk about it. I'm like shut up. I mean because we did that like when I was in my 20s oh yeah we all were. But fuck, I'm fixing to be 50. Nobody trying to fuck all day. I got shit to do. My show's coming on at 8 30 look, I can fuck all day.
Speaker 1:I. I couldn't fuck all day because I am getting almost gonna be 50, yeah, but I would want to fuck all day. My head says, yes, fuck, fuck, fuck my pecker. Different story it's a, it's a you get.
Speaker 3:You know your pecker's older than you yeah, he's getting older. That motherfucker's been wore out more than me, I promise you see, and this is one where we need a woman's point of view, like what is what it because? Well, first, off, first off, you can't ask my wife.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, because my wife would say every other day every other day.
Speaker 3:Every other day, but it's not happening with me.
Speaker 1:We should just call a random person, let's do it. Yeah, and ask them what the average? Yes, all right, let's continue talking. Let me get somebody on the horn here.
Speaker 3:No, right on, right on. We'll talk about it real quick while we're working that out. So we had a friend of ours who lost. They had two dogs. One of them died a couple weeks ago and the second one died yesterday, the day before yesterday something like that yeah, yeah, they've had these dogs almost 15 years, oh yeah, yeah and it's tough.
Speaker 3:The wife was making fun of the husband about how he was crying, crying like a little bitch, and I had to put her in check. I said, wait a minute. When I lost my domino I had my domino for 16 years and when we had to put him down, we laid me and stephanie both we laid on the floor, crying like little babies, like we actually gave birth to him and shit like that.
Speaker 1:Man she was talking like. She said that she was telling Darren like hey, you need to go put that thing in the freezer or something. You can't be leaving that in the house. I'm like you can't be talking like that, sylvia.
Speaker 3:Motherfucker was going to make spam eggs and peanut for breakfast.
Speaker 1:I don't want to over there, she can look, I don't throw all the toys away, all the beds away. Yeah, I'm like, well, what else were you going to do? And she said, well, you never know. But yeah, it's one of those deals where you know you have some dogs, you try to get rid of them. You know, you know you have some dogs, you try to get rid of them. You know she lost one. And then she said, made the comment, I wish it had been a two-for-one deal. And then two weeks later, was it two weeks later.
Speaker 3:Or a week later. No, it was closer to two.
Speaker 1:To the day. Yeah, the other one, but I'm sure it died out of heartbreak, you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Just kind of like the notebook thing. What's about the?
Speaker 3:notebook. I don't think I've ever seen the notebook.
Speaker 1:Well they die from separationings or they die together or whatever the case.
Speaker 3:That happens a lot like when you've been married for so long and the wife or the husband dies. Then, uh, the other one dies quick oh okay, like if the husband dies, then a couple months later the, the wife dies, or whatever, just because they don't want to be, they're tired of being lonely. That makes sense.
Speaker 1:I mean to a point, right, yeah, but anyways, I can't get a bite on the horn. Okay, fuck them, so we can move on. We can move on, but I would say a healthy amount of sex, maybe once every two weeks.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:At the very least Right. I don't know I could have it daily, I could have it nightly, but then there's times that I'm just wore out and can't really pull it off. Can't really pull it off, yeah, pull it off, but hold on, let's, let's come up here, let's get somebody on the horn no, no, I got somebody.
Speaker 3:I got somebody coming to step in.
Speaker 1:Oh, but I think a healthy amount is is weekly for sure, if not once every other week just to keep it interesting, right?
Speaker 3:yeah, keep you hungry um, and what is it you used to say?
Speaker 1:you don't feed the dog, you're gonna eat out of the trash. You don't feed the dog, he'll eat out of the trash. So what that means is, if you don't feed your puppy, that he may go somewhere else and eat. You know, um, but we do have a woman, a woman's perspective on this. I wouldn't say this is probably the right woman to ask, but we'll ask her it's definitely not the right woman to ask. So assure you what to you is a healthy amount of sex to have per couple did you see her face?
Speaker 3:did you see her face? Did you see her face?
Speaker 1:She's got a horny, go ahead, ma'am. And we have Stephanie here. She's going to actually chime in. Hi there, I'm lost, so ask the question again. Okay, what is a healthy amount of sex that a couple should have? A married couple, a married couple, yep.
Speaker 2:On average. So I'm offended that you feel like you've asked the wrong person.
Speaker 1:I feel like you've asked the right person well, yeah, I love your answer, trust me, but for you, you gotta speak up for all women so, um, a couple of things that I've read and like I agree or don't agree.
Speaker 2:You know, some people say should we have long two hour sex three times a day?
Speaker 1:absolutely not nobody got time for that.
Speaker 2:I'm out of breath, sorry it's a hot topic, it is but I mean I think, and I guess age and jobs and kids All play a part in it, I would say Once or twice a week, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yes, but, like I said, it can't be Two or three hours long Every time.
Speaker 1:Look, I can hit it and quit it Too, bump-chump, if I have to.
Speaker 2:But you're going to find that most women don't see the value in that.
Speaker 1:No, no, I'm saying, if that's what you want, I'm all about it I do because typically men want it more than women.
Speaker 2:So I do see the value in a quickie if that's what we're talking about. But I feel like once or twice a week is decent. I mean, Mike and I have always had to work, We've always had kids. You've got a house to clean, You've got traffic, you sit in. It's not reasonable to do it too many more times than that. But I remember when the kids were little we'd skip out to the garage and have an afternoon session On the weight bench.
Speaker 3:Let's get it going. That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:Hey, me and my wife has been in the family restroom at the casino.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's been a minute, but that's before what happened Before I put a ring on it.
Speaker 3:We had sex in the bathroom with some random person's room at Margarita Ball. One year Fucking people banging on the door hey.
Speaker 2:But I will say that recently I saw something and it stuck with me Women need I think it was like 10 to 12 physical touches a day that were not sexual, like don't walk by a toucher no credit card. Yeah, credit card swipe. Oh, I'd hit that. Those comments are not attractive.
Speaker 1:Okay, so 10 or 12, just random touches. Women are needy. I'm going to do that. I'm going to put this to a test. So if I walk by you 10 or 12 times, and touch you don't think about it.
Speaker 3:But the problem is you're going to do it and you're going to count, because you're a fucking dickhead like that, you're going to say sip 11.
Speaker 2:Zero to 100. But, you know, randomly Reach out kind of touch her hand and say, babe, I love you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do the whole forehead touch. Maybe, that's kind of weird.
Speaker 2:But I mean like, if Mike walks by me and he doesn't touch my butt, I'm instantly what's wrong with you, are you?
Speaker 3:mad. Why are you being an asshole?
Speaker 2:Yeah, why are you being a dickhead? But I mean, just be creative, Find other ways to touch a woman other than just, oh, I want bug. That shit is not attractive.
Speaker 1:I'm not a caveman.
Speaker 2:And I'm not blaming you, I'm not saying y'all do this what I see in other people.
Speaker 1:I do do that. I ain't gonna lie.
Speaker 2:No. But I mean, yeah, just grab a hand. And I told Michael here in our relationship here lately I appreciate the. You know I'm going going clean house. Do this, do that Almost kind of like. Stop me and just say, babe, I love you, you're doing a good job, not? Hey, meet me in the bedroom later following that. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So everything can't be about sex, and what I told somebody the other day is stop giving it to your wife, and then she's going to question why, and then it's going to make her want it. Now, I don't mean cold turkey and I don't mean like go three months without fucking your wife. That's not what I'm saying. But every relationship is different and one of the things I do say is don't compare your relationship to anybody else's?
Speaker 1:No, absolutely not Definitely. Everybody's different, everybody's different. Yes, all right, I no, absolutely not, definitely everybody's different, everybody's different.
Speaker 3:Yes, all right, I'm glad we got a woman, so you know, um? So let's ask her what if? What if men can have babies? And I'm not talking about crazy, I'm talking about like it's hypothetical, obviously, but for real, for real, if it was normal, if it was a normal thing, you woke up tomorrow, our minds were wiped clean of all the other old shit and it's like, okay, and men and women could have babies, you can choose. So I could have the baby, you could have the baby. Would you choose? Would you let me have the baby? That's what I don't think you would.
Speaker 2:If I can get past the emotional part of it. Women were meant to be the moms for a reason. We are the I don't know caresser, the you know, I don't know. We're the soft touch. I don't think that guys would have that.
Speaker 1:I'd shit a baby and run.
Speaker 2:That emotional attachment.
Speaker 1:First of all, I wouldn't have a baby.
Speaker 2:But I mean, you know, I told Mike very early on in our relationship I really only wanted two kids. I would have liked to have you know like, one boy, one girl, you know something like that. But when I found out I was having two boys I was joyed because boys are fun and amazing. But I knew that my body couldn't handle being pregnant again. So if it came down to us trying again for a daughter, if he could have carried it, I think I would have been okay with it.
Speaker 1:You know what, on the other side of that, it means. It means you're going to bleed every month too. What are you going to bleed out of? Think about that your butthole. Then you got to wear a pad, Then you got to go through the emotional scars of it. My girl here has her menstrual like 14 days out of the month Because she has buildup and then the buildup to the buildup and then the shark week happens. This has to be her.
Speaker 2:My PMS man. The older I get, it's kicking my ass. I've always been real tough, but that PMS is. I text him. What'd I say, babe, my ovaries are what.
Speaker 3:I have aching or something like that. I don't know what it is. You're hurting the shit out of me today. I don't even know what that means.
Speaker 2:I said but everything else is fine, I'm fine.
Speaker 3:It's good, everything's fine, I'm fine.
Speaker 1:That was too much information To your mind. No, that's fine, that's good. I mean, I was just talking about bleeding out my butthole. I'm just saying I mean you need help? No, no, I'm not bleeding out of my butthole.
Speaker 1:Well, I did wipe a little harder the other day, so hey, while we got the misses up here, let's do a random question for up here. Pull it out of the middle. Oh, I hate this. See, you have to do these right. You got to read the black one first and then read the other one, so read that one first.
Speaker 3:I believe. So, yeah, and the other one is the statistics or whatever.
Speaker 2:If you could see any specific site in the world, what would you choose? For me here lately the northern lights have interest me. I've never seen it on TV. That'd be cool yeah.
Speaker 1:Romantic, holding your hands as it gets dark. I my site, I would like to see a you know, a lion take down a gazelle, you know, and just in the wild. So you want to go to africa yeah, yeah, well, I'll see animal in the wild, you know. Yeah, I think that'd be cool. I close my eyes when I'm watching it on tv. Well, I see it on tv, but I want to. I want to hear the noise. Yeah, just.
Speaker 3:I want to go to Alaska. Yeah, and seriously, if I could, this would be very dreamy because I can't fucking walk I would honestly like to go. I don't want to get too torrential or whatever they call that, but I would like to. What do they call that? Hike, well, but like, actually go hiking through the snow and stuff like that and see polar bears. You need to go on a cruise? Well, no, that's what I do. I told her I want to go on an Alaskan cruise.
Speaker 1:You ain't got to do much. You can even drive around and hover around if you need one.
Speaker 3:Hover around, hover around, but I would like to. I'm the cold guy, so anything that has to do with the cold, I'll go to Antarctica. I've already been to the North Pole to see Santa a couple times.
Speaker 1:Oh you have yeah. What does he like? He's a cool dude, he hates cookies.
Speaker 3:I hear he likes natty daddies. Yeah, natty daddies, they're natural light, but they're like I got a question for you.
Speaker 1:If you could, for both of you, if you could kill someone and it was self-defense, would you If?
Speaker 2:you're fucking with my kids?
Speaker 1:Yeah, could you kill someone? I think so. Could you dismember them?
Speaker 2:No, I mean, if I thought I was going to be like moving guilty or whatever, I would probably go all in, like you know, finish it off to not get caught. I mean I know.
Speaker 3:You don't have a case to dismember. I watch a lot of troops. I know the new dexter is coming out in december, but why are we talking about dismembering bodies?
Speaker 1:well, I mean if you okay, say you kill someone, yep, could you first? Could you do it for whatever reason? Yeah, it'd be the last resort.
Speaker 3:Yes, if if you're fucking with my family I can go through a lot of stuff, like if you're just sitting there acting crazy stuff like that but if you're literally you're threatening my wife or my kids or someone that I love dearly and close to me, I believe that I could.
Speaker 1:Yeah, could you dismember him?
Speaker 3:No, yeah, no, I'm not. I can break down a cow, but I'm not breaking down a human.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would want to. Could I murder someone? Not murder someone, because murder is different from killing, obviously. But yeah, protection and a heartbeat Wouldn't even have another thought Justifiable. I'd call the cops too. Now, if you hurt my family, I'm going to murder your entire family.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I had this dream one time where this kid, he, was being bullied at school and I'm not saying my kid was bullying him, but he was being picked on and I had a dream about him murdering someone, about him murdering someone. Well, I was like. I was like, well, you know what, if that happened and you shot my kid up you know all these school shootings if you killed my kid, I would take it diabolical and that's just my mental. You know me being fucked up in the head, I guess. But I would, just my mental. You know me being fucked up in the head, I guess. But I would wait until your family got bigger and then, at Christmas, just kill everybody, just murder everybody Wait for the family reunion.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, yeah, just do everybody, just do everybody.
Speaker 1:And then we'll sit there and call the cops so glad this is being recorded. I'm just saying If it ever happens.
Speaker 2:So glad this is being recorded. I'm just saying if that ever happens. So I don't know who all listens to this, but I'm going to give some details. So when I was in high school, my brother was shot in the head. He did live. He's not normal, not right, but as we went through trial and got him nursed back to somewhat health, my dad held a lot of grudge toward the guy who shot my brother and because they were high or whatever they, he only got six months jail time which is unheard of yeah, they called it.
Speaker 2:Um, it was a misdemeanor because they were high, but it was like unlawful use of a gun. I don't know it was something like that, but my brother has like complete damage and it's not, not normal. And so a cop, a dallas cop, literally told my dad that if you caught him in an alley, just shoot him or kill him or whatever, and nobody would miss him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I mean and it's you know, you think about it. I mean the trauma that my family has been through because of this guy. I mean I've actually thought about it. I mean you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I don't know. I don't wish harm on anybody and I forgave him a long time ago. I still hate this situation, but I still think about it.
Speaker 1:Oh, I would take it to a whole new level. Yeah, and that's pretty much anybody in my family. I've had people die in my family. No one ever really murdered other than my uncle, but I didn't really know him back in the day and it was a whole drug deal when he got murdered. I think the cartel got after him. But no, my immediate family. If you murdered my family, there would be payback. Yeah, you may be in prison but there will be payback. I would make sure that I wiped out your entire clan and then call the cops and let them know. Hey, I'm sitting on the front porch. I just had a massacre in here. Well, I mean.
Speaker 3:I'm not going to run from it. You wouldn't off yourself, you'd go to prison. Oh yeah, I'd go to prison. I think I would just off myself. I wouldn't, I ain't going to lie.
Speaker 1:That's the cowardly way.
Speaker 3:Well, it's cowardly, but you're also saving tax dollars. Oh, yeah, so if you're a real patriot, then you're looking out for the country.
Speaker 1:I guess that's one way to look at it. Maybe I would just go to jail for a little bit, like Epstein.
Speaker 3:And mysteriously die.
Speaker 1:It is strange that no one, no one, has been charged other than him and her on this Epstein case. And he had all this information and they have all these videos and records, but no one's been charged other than epstein and maxwell too many powerful people, it's gotta be.
Speaker 3:They're not gonna let that out yep, it's gotta be something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean that no one. If they even just took one person, I would all right. Maybe they got this. You know the accomplice Not one person other than them two.
Speaker 3:So this is the problem with America is we lose focus so quick on stuff that's important, like right now, diddy. You don't hear nothing about anything that had to do with what happened with Diddy, Except for the fact that they won't release him on bail because they feel like he's a flight risk, even though he's told them I'll give you my passports.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but what you haven't heard is exactly. You ain't heard about Diddy. Everybody's keeping their mouth shut.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but what I'm saying is because we've already forgot about it. Yeah, nobody cares about it anymore. I agree, especially if that's the thing they hold. They don't let these, they, they. They came out, they said they're going to, they got a list and when they do, when they put it out, you're going to be so shocked. List never came out. So basically it's good for about a couple, two or three weeks, and then they give you a bit of information and then we forget about it and nobody even cares. And then we forget about it and nobody even cares. And right now, nobody, yeah, nobody's even thinking about diddy, unless if something were to happen tonight, it came out that he killed himself or something like that.
Speaker 1:Nobody cares about diddy right now yeah, and nobody really cares all that. Your, um, I don't know your level, your, your conscience level or your, well, you care about people. You're shit. What's the word, woman, I don't know. You know, when people care about someone, they show I don't know feelings. I guess Everybody's feelings are driven now just to shit happens all the time. You just watch it and repeat. You know what I mean. The sensitivity is gone. I mean, yeah, the sensitivity is gone?
Speaker 3:yeah, exactly because we see all this crap every day just random stuff, random mass shootings and just everything, and it, it's, it's all the shock factor, basically yeah yeah, that's why reality tv is so big, because you see this stuff and you really feel like, oh my god, this is their real life and it's not most of these reality shows.
Speaker 3:They're all plotted yeah they're all plotted in stage, it's reality. But they have topics that, all right, we're gonna do this, we're gonna do that, and so yeah, but well, miss, uh, miss, step. Miss Stephanie, thank you for coming to join us for almost half the show. That's amazing. Yeah, that was fun. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:I appreciate it. All right, this is a good show.
Speaker 3:Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween, guys. We'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 1:Maybe go for cowboys, maybe.
Speaker 3:If Craig lives through his cruise with his wife, oh yeah, you ever have sex during the cruise? At least twice, at least. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, burn it up Blondo. Burn it up Blondo.
Speaker 1:I saw my phone ring I was like hey Bitch, I'm from Texas, where we sit riding swangers and put diamonds in our neckies. I drank inside my lemonade. I'm not going to do that.
