THESHITSHOWS
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THESHITSHOWS
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THESHITSHOWS
TURKEY TROUBLES AND AXLE NUT NIGHTMARES
Imagine finding yourself in the midst of Thanksgiving chaos, juggling last-minute meetings and tackling unexpected car troubles, like a rogue axle nut incident that leaves you scratching your head. Join Craig and Michael as they navigate the whirlwind of holiday preparations, with Mike off busy in the kitchen. We kick off with playful banter, unexpected car conundrums, and a splash of football commentary, all while pondering the entertaining notion of our wives taking over the podcast.
Ever find yourself tripping over shoes left around the house? You're not alone! Craig and Stephanie share their lighthearted tales of navigating domestic challenges with their partners, adding a humorous spin to the art of non-verbal communication in relationships. From counting touches aloud to the peculiar usefulness of label makers, we're here to remind you that small gestures can have big impacts on intimacy. Plus, the joy of Thanksgiving traditions shines through, as we recount everything from squirrel gumbo to the infamous green Jello salad, guaranteeing a chuckle or two.
Prepare to giggle as we recount culinary adventures and mishaps, such as the boiled turkey debacle, and reminisce about family gatherings evolving into intimate "family" celebrations. As anticipation for our upcoming Mexico trip builds, we're all about vow renewals, beachside relaxation, and the hilarity of seating arrangements on the plane. With gratitude in our hearts, we celebrate friendships, family ties, and the sometimes quirky but always cherished traditions that make the holidays so special. Join us for a rollicking ride of laughter, nostalgia, and the comfort of community.
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yeah, what's up, peep, this is a shit show. I'm craig. I'm michael. I'm a monster. What'd you say? I'm a cancer? I'm michael, wow. Well, what does that mean? It's my symbol. Well, mikey. Mike is not here with us. He's actually prepping because he's got Thanksgiving tomorrow. Well, he's actually got Thanksgiving today, with all his catering business. But, but, lo and behold. But but, lo and behold, we got, we got. We got the beautiful wives with us.
Speaker 2:Hey, hey, hey.
Speaker 1:That should be. It should be an interesting show. It's just me and them, it's like a threesome.
Speaker 2:Right, I can see where you got that. I mean yeah.
Speaker 1:There's many times I've thought about this right, this actual moment, get out of here.
Speaker 2:I know you guys always talk about it when we go to Mexico.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, I talk about it every. I actually think about it quite a bit. While y'all are sitting right now, y'all go ahead and kiss.
Speaker 2:Wait, we are like five feet from each other.
Speaker 1:Oh man, oh man, how y'all doing, doing good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, glad this uh work week is over all right.
Speaker 1:Right, it's been kind of a shitty week.
Speaker 2:It's only been two days right like why does everybody want to have meetings on a holiday week, right?
Speaker 1:I mean I understand, I took my truck in to get the oil change and he goes about two and a half hours so I wasn't gonna sit up there two and a half hours. So I had Seth come get me. And on the way home he calls and said oh, we got bigger problems. I'm like it's only 20,000 miles on truck. I mean I said he goes, well, we're taking off the tires to rotate them. Your axle nut was sheared off. I'm like, well, how in the fuck does that happen? He said, well, there's been a factory recall, but not on your truck, on other trucks. I'm like, okay, you got to explain how this happened, because I don't drive it rough, it's only 20,000 miles on the vehicle.
Speaker 2:You say you don't drive it rough. I just got that truck.
Speaker 1:All I'm getting at is there's no way that the axle.
Speaker 2:We have both ridden in the truck with you.
Speaker 1:Okay, but you don't shear off an axle nut. You couldn't do that if you tried. It's probably the curbs I'm going to call negative ma'am.
Speaker 2:Or switching from left to right, from right to left, to left to right and right to left.
Speaker 1:That's just driving.
Speaker 2:That's NASCAR.
Speaker 1:Okay, so that's how my day ended. You know I won't get my truck back until Monday.
Speaker 2:Yuck.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm going to have to have my friend take me to work or Uber to work truck back until monday. Yuck, yeah, I'm gonna have to have my friend take me to work or uber to work. I mean, I got a ride home but just because I gotta you know I'll pick up my truck. But that's some bullshit in a few words.
Speaker 2:Can you tell me where exactly the axle nut is?
Speaker 1:it's on the rear axle, it's on the rear wheel. It holds. You have two wheels that hold on, that attach to the rear axle. Well, there's a nut that holds everything together. Okay, and he said, if you took my tire off, the only thing that was holding the axle together was the tire and the lug nuts wow which I still call bullshit.
Speaker 1:I mean I look, I've seen a lot of shit happen, never that. He said it was sheared completely off. So who knows, who knows crazy, fucking forward, fucking forward. And then they said my other one that isn't ordered 14 to 16 more weeks. That is insane. I've seen a lot of them on the lot just go take one off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, anyways, yeah, but you're getting a special one.
Speaker 1:So what's up? I mean we've been shitty, you know. Well, not really shitty, because it is Thanksgiving, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1:And them fucking. Boomer Sooners kicked Alabama's ass. They wasn't rolling tide that night. Oh wait, I got the wrong crowd for this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we don't care, you have the wrong person on here.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, it is what it is. You're coming to Death Valley on Saturday. Bubba and the Cowboys won, so it's a good plus Did the Saints win? No, they had a bye and still lost.
Speaker 2:Uh-uh no.
Speaker 1:Anyways, we'll get out of football, so let's talk tradition. What we'll get out of football? So, um, let's talk tradition. What do women like to talk about? I know y'all been wanting to be on here just by yourself. What have y'all wanted to come up here and talk about?
Speaker 2:wait, have we ever wanted to be on here by ourself? I don't know, that'd be scary.
Speaker 1:I know, I don't think y'all would want to take over, I mean, I'd be pushing all kinds of buttons, yeah it's pretty good or like when, when uh, mike is going to do the emails and you play the intro song.
Speaker 2:That's funny.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I always do the wrong one, but.
Speaker 2:I think you do that on purpose sometimes.
Speaker 1:No, I've labeled them now. Oh, did you yeah?
Speaker 2:I was going to buy you a label maker.
Speaker 1:Oh, I did, I just used my pen. Okay, I have a label maker, but at the time I was going to say he has one, it was just easier to do it right here.
Speaker 2:He has a wife that has a big ass label maker upstairs right.
Speaker 1:Why do you need a big ass when the control board's not that big?
Speaker 2:I'm just saying, I could make.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:I got you. She can make your life easier and y'all don't ask for help. That's the problem with men. Yeah, true, true.
Speaker 1:I mean, we don't need help though. That's the problem.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Okay Wait, what do you mean?
Speaker 1:What's the problem with men? Let's hear this Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, look. No, what are they doing on TikTok, the whole TikTok trend? No judgment.
Speaker 2:Oh, no questions, no judgment. Whatever. No questions, no judgment. That's funny. Wait, what was it I?
Speaker 1:don't know.
Speaker 2:We will not.
Speaker 1:We will not, we will not judge, I don't know. Yeah, whatever. So I mean, right now Is an opportunity, y'all can air it out. Do we not have that much time? It is a holiday special, we can probably Do a full hour.
Speaker 2:I don't really want to Fight on a holiday, though. What does that mean? And we're going to be On the road for six hours To Baton Rouge and you may get left. No, no, number one, we're taking my car. Number two, I will be carrying the car keys so okay.
Speaker 1:So I mean, come on right now. Nothing.
Speaker 2:You have nothing y'all would like to talk about well, I don't know that I was prepared for that, oh anything what get it off your chest?
Speaker 1:what have we done to piss y'all off lately?
Speaker 2:oh, to piss us off. Yeah, oh, nothing. Well, okay I don't know what have we done?
Speaker 1:good, I don't know.
Speaker 2:No, we're gonna do the pissed off one first. I don't know if mike does this, oh, but I just had to tell craig. And not even seth does this, and I don't know if it's because I've been bitching at him for nine years now, but I just had to tell craig he needs to work on his shoe thing. Explain, I'm either tripping over him or I'm picking him up, oh Cause where he comes in, he flips him off.
Speaker 1:That's not always true. No, it is Usually I kick him off at the door.
Speaker 2:Right in front of the door, the walkway, in front of the door In the closet, the doorway into the bathroom, the doorway into the bedroom, the doorway, or they're in the middle of the living room. Well see, that's not too bad. What do you got, stephanie? So if we're sticking to that topic, um, mike and I were married about 10 years and I think I went off on him about shoes, and it was either socks or shoes. They were literally being left anywhere everywhere front door, back door, back porch, front porch in the hallway in the bathroom to find y'all.
Speaker 1:Would you like us go?
Speaker 2:honey, you see my shoes no, no, no no, no because we have a closet and when you have a shoe organizer. But I'm gonna need them right away no, you're not. But you wouldn't have to ask period because, remember, you don't need us no, no, I didn't say that. Oh no, no, you misunderstood oh, craig's already told me I love it when you're home during the week Because I've been cooking.
Speaker 1:I got home cooked meals last two nights Nice, it was great, I'm telling you and I've worked like 5.30 every night this week. So it is the holiday week it's coming up. Turkey day is tomorrow.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm yep. That is crazy before we get into that, though, so on a couple shows ago, I had asked you a question or gave you some advice. Oh yeah, oh yeah. The touch, the touches I I would like for you to elaborate, and, especially since your beautiful wife is here, I'd like both sides so stupid, but uh, how did it go? Did you try it? It worked out amazing.
Speaker 1:so. So if you didn't listen, you're listening now. Uh, she read somewhere that if you know you touch a woman sensually, but not just like hey, I want to fuck you, or credit card, or swiping the, you know the cooch grabbing the titty, you know just actual sensual touching, you know like 10, 12 times a day, it actually builds up and leads to something. Well, I tried it, you know, and I'm just randomly touching on her back and shoulders, but the problem was I was counting Out loud and it took us, I don't know, two days.
Speaker 2:Well, we were in Miami and I get out of the-.
Speaker 1:I started here at Halloween.
Speaker 2:Okay, but I didn't know why. You walked up to me and went 12. And I'm like what? And then you just walked away. And then the next day we were in Miami and I get out of the truck and you're like nine. I'm like okay. And then we get back to the truck and you're like nine, I'm like okay. And then we get back to the truck and you're like 10. And then we get to the hotel and he goes 11. I'm like what is going on? Well, the next morning I get up, he's laying in bed, I'm sitting out on the balcony with some coffee and I'm listening to that week's podcast and you're talking about the touch thing and you tell him don't talk out loud right, you're like don't count out loud.
Speaker 2:This fool's been walking around for three days one, two, three.
Speaker 1:It works so if you are a married man out there and you are trying to get the loving touch of your beautiful, beautiful wife, beautiful husband, and you are trying to, you know, gain their, what's the word? I'm looking for Attention.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think so, without being vulgar.
Speaker 1:Yeah, touch them about 12 times. Just don't count, you can count in your head. Just count quietly in your head. Don't count, you can count in your head. Just count quietly, or in your head so um don't count out loud well, I mean, yeah, exactly, so it does work. I did get some booty that night okay, okay.
Speaker 2:So selena, from your side, um, I thought it, besides the counting out loud, I mean, did you recognize the touches at all? Or or put the counting and the touches together? Craig and I tend to touch each other a lot anyways, like we'll walk by each other and touch each other, you know. So we don't. We don't not touch each other, agree?
Speaker 1:I think you touch me more than I touch you.
Speaker 2:I touch you more than I do than you touch me I can see that, because the way he touches me is he's either, you know, tapping my boobs, credit carding, you know, like that, it's not.
Speaker 1:You know the rub on the shoulder, Okay hold up, whatever, when we first met we were walking up the stairs and I ran my finger up the crack of your ass. I said does that bother you? Because I won't do it. But if it doesn't bother you, I'm going to continue forever. Because I won't do it. But if it doesn't bother you, I'm going to continue forever. You said no, no, no. You said no, it doesn't bother me at all. I like it.
Speaker 2:No, I did not say I like that. I said no, I didn't say I liked it, I said no, it doesn't bother me. Boom, that's the same thing as I like it, because back when we first met, he was always touching me in other ways.
Speaker 1:Let's get it this way. So you know a lot of women do they just suck?
Speaker 2:gut when I go in there. Okay, no, anyways we won't use that analogy, but that's the same thing as saying you don't mind it, so you like it. No, it's not the same thing. I'm not saying that I, if I didn't like it, saying that I, if I didn't like it, I would tell you I didn't like it okay I'm.
Speaker 1:If I'm gonna get raped in the ass, I'm not gonna say dang it. You know what? I don't mind it, but I don't like it.
Speaker 2:That's fucking, that's, it's, it's it doesn't bother me enough to tell you to smack you and tell you to stop no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:That's that makes sense.
Speaker 2:That's not the word but it's not something she craves, it's not something she wants to ask for it's not, it's not something that I'm like oh honey, come here and credit card me, no, no oh, that's no.
Speaker 1:No, well, I mean it happens. The touch thing worked, I appreciate it. Yeah, you should open up your own, dear Abby, or you know.
Speaker 2:Well, I was trying To find a way to, you know, bring it to the show, but I'm not on here Quite often enough.
Speaker 1:You women need to have your own show. I think it would be Hysterical.
Speaker 2:Oh, you'd be surprised. If we put some Homework into it, we could come up with some ratings battle.
Speaker 1:You know, get y'all 20 shows in and see how good you hit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know it'd be nice I just don't feel that I have anything important to say, so well, that's well, I mean that's not true. Watch, oh, I was gonna say, watch how you come at me, bro, bro, so holidays are coming up yeah what kind of tradition, what?
Speaker 1:okay, first I want to, before we talk about our traditions, or what are some traditions y'all have heard of that are kind of off when it comes to thanksgiving for thanksgiving yeah thanksgiving, you don't hear too much.
Speaker 2:It's normally around eating, um, you've got the friends giving a thing, that kind of goes around, but I don't know. I haven't really heard of anything.
Speaker 1:That just throws me for a loop.
Speaker 2:Mike's thing with the ham at Thanksgiving. That throws me off.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's traditional usually, though.
Speaker 2:No, no Thanksgiving to me. Growing up, I never had anybody that I knew that had ham at Thanksgiving. Ham is at Christmas.
Speaker 1:Well.
Speaker 2:Not Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1:Here in Texas we usually have both. I mean I I haven't heard of people doing like a mexican, where they have like enchiladas and stuff like that although we did pig roast for thanksgiving, so I guess I'd be about the same I mean it is ham yeah, look now I done, said I don't want to faint.
Speaker 1:But I mean, you know, I have. I talked to some friends, you know, one of them's going to the valley which is Mexico, basically for Thanksgiving, and asking what they had plans, he said that they're going to have barbacoa, you know, and actually kill and cook a goat. Actually kill and cook a goat, which is barbacoa, and that's what they do every year. They don't ever use turkey. They don't do turkey. I mean, he's full-blown Hispanic but still you'd think they would have some turkey. He said no, our entire family don't even like turkey.
Speaker 2:Wow, well, we had like growing up we had, I mean mean, depending on Whose house we were at, we'd have gumbo. We'd have like squirrel gumbo, she just Squirrel gumbo. Yeah, she did.
Speaker 1:That old man that had to give away the squirrel back.
Speaker 2:First of all, it was my Aunt Oney and my Uncle Alton That'll tell you All you need to know About the squirrel.
Speaker 1:I was about to say Aunt Oney and Uncle Alty.
Speaker 2:Uncle Alton.
Speaker 1:See, see.
Speaker 2:That's them backwoods names. I bet they knew how to play banjo. Both of them, no, no, okay, what are?
Speaker 1:some of the traditions that y'all hold in our family or families. You know that there's something that is Always a must.
Speaker 2:Well, really for Thanksgiving, it's's just, you know, going around and everybody says what they're thankful for. That's really the only Thanksgiving tradition that I have. That and Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and the dog show, dog show yeah, my sister and I every year the parade, the dog show, and then we start football. That's cute.
Speaker 1:What's the dog show?
Speaker 2:What dog show on tv the akc dog show on tv after the parade, where you watch dogs do tricks. That's when football's on no, they don't do tricks, they, you know. They parade them around and all that, and they choose the dog of the year thing. What so? It's not even the competition dogs. Yes, it's the. It's the, the pretty one. Well, not all of them are pretty. Some of them are, are, and they do. They are fucked up looking.
Speaker 1:They do tricks and jumps and.
Speaker 2:No, that's not that. That's the agility thing You'll see.
Speaker 1:No, we won't see.
Speaker 2:He said I'll be watching football, football. Well, and my sister and I used to back when Black Friday was really Black Friday, you know, and you'd get up at 2 o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 1:Whoa, what kind of Black Friday are you talking about? No sir oh.
Speaker 2:Back when you know you'd get up at 2 o'clock in the morning, go stand in line and all that.
Speaker 1:That sounds like the old Black Friday. You get it. No, you guys go ahead. No, I don't, no.
Speaker 2:But on Thanksgiving night her and I would sit down with all the ads and we would have plan your day girl scout cookies and it's hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps in it and tastes like the thin mints, you know um and circle everything we wanted to do, plan out our route for the next morning, get up at two o'clock in the morning and we'd head out stephanie um, so it's a lot of eating.
Speaker 2:And I mean growing up we were around a lot of family, but now that we're older it's more framily, framily, yeah is it is I gotta, I gotta ask.
Speaker 1:So when my grandmother was around, she you know, everybody says there's one, one person. That is the glue, like the matriarch or whatever, and it didn't make a shit where you were at.
Speaker 1:You better be at grandma's house, or whoever's house of that, for thanksgiving christmas. And I don't know if it's just because a generation has fallen off or or we just haven't continued to want to be with people or our families, you know. But I feel like, um, and maybe maybe it's just us, because we are such close friends and we do spend a lot of time together and we do celebrate, you know, thanksgiving christmas together in a way, um, but also I, I, I miss the whole entire families, big families getting together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so my mamaw was like the glue for the family. My dad's side of the family I wasn't ever very close to, so we didn't really go there very often for the holidays. It was pretty rare. My mamaw's, though, on my mother's side, was the glue, but she passed away. What two years. It'll be three years in January.
Speaker 1:It's always the grandmother, or so, if I'm playing right or the mamaw's, whoever, it's always the woman matriarch that keeps the glue.
Speaker 2:So the way I look at it, you women have dropped the ball. Well, but we don't have grandkids. Um well, you're just starting with grandkids. I don't have grandkids yet, so we're not really grandmas. But I I kind of feel like social media plays a part in this, because there's cousins that I see year-round on facebook. There are, you know, you keep up with the pictures of their kids um. So it's not like you look forward to seeing certain people um the one or two times a year social media.
Speaker 1:No, no, that, yeah, that's a big thing see, and here's what's messed up.
Speaker 2:I'm not even friends with the majority of my family on facebook they don't have internet out there no, first of all, well, I take that back.
Speaker 1:elon musk, who's got starlink out there, and you can get Starlink anywhere, but you got to know how to work it.
Speaker 2:But no, I'm just not real. So growing up as a military brat, we moved every year, every year and a half, so I'm used to not being around family.
Speaker 1:I can see that is it hard to be around family, so oh yeah oh yes, it is for me anyways hey, I don't know, I wouldn't say it's hard, but we're just so busy with our own lives, it's just we don't make priority. Is what I feel like, um, do? Do I want to hang out with my brother-in-law Darryl? Not as much, but you know I would make that leap, you know. Do I want to hang out with my sister-in-law? You know it's sometimes, you know, and they, that's the whole reason. Now they go to Arizona. You know they would rather do that than this, which is understandable. Not calling anybody out, I mean it's. You know they, they, uh, would rather do that than this, which is understandable. Um, not calling anybody, I mean it's. You know it is what it is. We all have to put in effort. I feel like, and, um, I just don't think we do it as much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, just like me and my family, I just I'm so different than my stepsisters like yeah, yeah, I got you well, well, except for the middle one, she her. You know, I grew up with her, she did. She lived with my dad from the time that she was, I don't know, eight, I think I love jennifer seven, something like that, so her I can hang out with and all that, but the other two I'm like but?
Speaker 1:but I mean my mom. You know she's getting up in her age, your dad and your mom's getting up in her age. I understand your dad. You don't want to hang out with him, fuck no but fuck that dude.
Speaker 1:I feel like we should be putting in some more effort to spend more time with these people, because it may not, we may not have another day with them. I mean, I would give anything I say this'd give anything to have my dad back one more day. But my mom's here and I don't put in the effort I should have put to be around her, and that is my fault. I know I have the time, I know I have the energy. I just don't put out enough energy to do it and I apologize. I apologize, mom.
Speaker 2:I love you. Oh, we love you mom happy Thanksgiving yeah.
Speaker 1:I know we were gonna send you food and you told me not to.
Speaker 2:I know so so you talk about time. Um, mike's grandma is gonna be 95 in January and, um, up until about maybe five years ago she was, you know, quick-witted, smart, funny. You know, um, alert. Over the last you know five years she's kind of dementia. Um, my mother-in-law used to leave little sticky notes like remember to do this. Shut the refrigerator ice is in the freezer brush your teeth or shut the toilet. You know little sticky notes around the house. And now we had family photos done last weekend with her, because we just don't know how much more time we have with her.
Speaker 2:But Mike's mom was telling us that she doesn't really know anybody. And so we're sitting at the dinner table and Mike's mom is like you know, grandma, do you know who these people are? And she just kind of smiled because she wasn't sure what to say. And then so Mike's mom introduced us Is that your grandson and his wife and whatever? And then, just sweet as she can, she says nice to meet y'all. Didn't she try to pay for dinner? She did Bless her heart. She was asking where her purse was and we were all confused because she rode with mike's mom and, uh, she's like where's my purse? And then mike's mom's like mom, why do you want your purse? And she was like, well, I need to pay for dinner. We had dinner in our dining room, so she was I met her.
Speaker 1:She's very sweet.
Speaker 2:Super sweet lady.
Speaker 1:It remind me of a lot of my dad. Well, I think my dad passed. He was 78. So he was not as old as she was, obviously, and didn't show that old, but he, because he was still feisty, as could be. God damn it, I told you Shell Info Center, I'll call you back. God damn it, I told you Shell Info Center, I'll call you back. Anyways, you're not supposed to have your phone going on a table.
Speaker 2:I turned mine off.
Speaker 1:I know Anyways, but he was feisty. We would go and we'd be still in people's beds. He lived in a home I'd walk in. He had everybody's ball cap on his head. That's funny. If there was 12 ball caps in that place, he stole them all and put them on his head all the time.
Speaker 1:All 12. And we walk in, we're like what the hell's going on. And you know it was just my dad being dad, you know he introduced me as one of his ex-employees. Yeah, yeah, I guess I kind of was at one point.
Speaker 2:It's hard to see them go downhill like that it really is.
Speaker 1:Let's go, let's brighten this mood up a little bit. So in eight days, nine days, right.
Speaker 2:Hold on. Is that the countdown? I think Selena's got a true countdown. I have a countdown. It's nine days. But before we get to that, are there any food combinations that you guys just cannot get behind on Thanksgiving?
Speaker 1:What do you mean? Like they're touching? I know you got a thing about-.
Speaker 2:No, no, I don't have that anymore. I'm not going to have a lot of fans behind me on this, but I've never been able to do the cranberry sauce. I can eat everything. It doesn't matter how you prep it. Prepare it, um, I can eat everything on the plate. I do not, and never have gone for the cranberry sauce I gotta, I have to uh I will only eat my homemade cranberry sauce.
Speaker 1:I don't do the the canned stuff I have to, uh, speak up on something that it's been a secret for a long time oh no, oh no, this is a don't judge moment yes, oh, my grandmother used to make a green jello salad. Okay, and it's not like you think it is. It's, it's like green jello salad. You know, it's like a goulash with fucking. It's not like you think it is, it's like green jello salad.
Speaker 2:You know it's like a goulash with fucking raisins it's got fruit and all that in it.
Speaker 1:Okay, Well, my grandmother made it, so I would act like I was eating it as a kid. Never ate it. So as we got older, my mother, my aunt, my sister, your sister. It's all made this.
Speaker 2:And then sent it home with us and I and I don't eat none of it.
Speaker 1:I've never, I think, and I don't eat it. I've had one plate, mom, I love you to death and I'm sorry you had to make that green casserole for so long um it's terrible.
Speaker 2:Even even last was it last year? We came home with a huge bowl from his sisters and i'm'm like are you going to eat this?
Speaker 1:And they made it especially for me because I was like I'm his girlfriend, and they made it for Craig.
Speaker 2:So you need to make that phone call or send a text or tell them to listen.
Speaker 1:Well, he just put it out on the waves.
Speaker 2:so I've never eaten a full bowl of that by myself.
Speaker 1:I would like oh, it's great, it's great, Anyways, green.
Speaker 2:I for combos. I have watched an uncle that puts ketchup on everything right, that's Michael. He put ketchup on his turkey and like his mashed potatoes. And I'm like dude, dude, no, no, sir, Ouch, no, we're not going with that. And then Mike told me he didn't even put gravy on his potatoes. He puts creamed corn and I'm like what the? I mean it's good, I mean, you know?
Speaker 1:Oh, your favorite is creamed corn.
Speaker 2:Well, I know, but not as a gravy on top of my potatoes.
Speaker 1:Creamed corn. That sounds dirty, doesn't it?
Speaker 2:I don't know that he uses it as a gravy, but mike is definitely a a corn and potato person and for whatever reason, his corn just ends up on top. It doesn't even have to be the cream corn, it's just corn and potatoes go together have you ever noticed when you take a poop and the corn husk is still?
Speaker 1:I don't know we're going there we're on the girl show wrong audience, wrong audience, but we're drawing something that I do not eat.
Speaker 2:That people might think is weird is I don't eat. I love sweet potatoes, but I do not eat sweet potato casserole. Sweet potato pie.
Speaker 1:I know because Mike makes the best candy yams I've ever had in my life. Yeah, and I don't eat them, and you don't eat them, which is great, because when we would make them and send them to the house, I knew I would get an extra one, double serving. Yeah, they're fucking amazing.
Speaker 2:And my sister. That's her kind of like specialty dish at Thanksgiving. You know everybody's got those and hers is her sweet potato casserole. Yeah, and I do not eat it. No, no, so growing up, I'll be honest, I was one of those that really didn't know the difference between a pumpkin pie and a sweet potato pie. Like honestly, I think I avoided all of it because I didn't, because you were like this is sus, yeah, and I think when I got became a teenager, it was just something. I just walked right by and they both looked the same and I never could tell them apart. And then as an adult I really don't know if I even like either one of them, just a pie. Now the candied yams I do prefer. I don't like sweet potatoes normally, but the candied yams or do prefer, I don't like sweet potatoes normally, but the candied yams or the sweet potato casserole is better for me.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I have to be honest, I don't know that I could literally take a bite of either one and tell you which one it is yeah, yeah, it's very, it's very distinct, oh for sure see, I'm not a sweet potatoes, I'm I'm a savory sweet potato. I don't like the sweet on the sweet potato I like that's that's the difference oh brown sugar oh yeah, I'm with you, michael does so good well, you don't cook, though, huh, so you don't have a dish that you have to make every year.
Speaker 2:No, I, I always say I'm the zoo chef I, um, like mich, like Michael, do the deviled eggs or something and I'll do the filling, and then you know, there's just a few things that he'll have me slice or dice or something. But yeah, no, I'm really looked at, I don't have to cook anything. Yeah, craig fries, a turkey?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm doing great, but you want to talk about a funny Thanksgiving story? Are you going to talk about a funny Thanksgiving story? Are you going to talk about a boiled turkey? Craig, boiled a turkey. You were there that year. Look here's why. First of all, here's why.
Speaker 1:Here's why I went to my friend the chef. Actually, I went to my drawer where my freaking thermometers are at, and my daughter decided, oh, when she moved out oh, that's mine, so she takes it. So I have no thermometer. Okay, hey, mike, you got a thermometer. Yeah, I got one. I like I didn't want to put an oil. Yeah, I got one, go get it. I don't check it, I put it in the oil. It says it's 300 degrees. I put the turkey in and I'm like, hmm, that, hmm, that's suspect.
Speaker 2:No sizzling, no shh.
Speaker 1:I was like it ain't making that noise. Well, it cooked another hour and at one point my son-in-law walks over and sticks his hand in the oil.
Speaker 2:Sticks his finger down in the oil.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is not hot enough.
Speaker 2:He goes this cold. Yeah, this is not hot enough, he goes this cold. So yeah, we had turkey just sitting in lukewarm oil, Luckily, and hey, it was hot off the bone. It had an oil bath.
Speaker 1:But I did redeem myself the last time.
Speaker 2:Last year's was amazing.
Speaker 1:This year's going to be even more amazing. I'm going to brine. It Can't wait.
Speaker 2:I'm going to judge Mike so hard if he's making green bean casserole out of a can.
Speaker 1:No he's not.
Speaker 2:He would never do that. Because you know that I make homemade green bean casserole.
Speaker 1:That's my favorite, though I know.
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 1:I will judge.
Speaker 2:I will judge All right.
Speaker 1:Let's get off this. Thanksgiving because I'm getting hungry.
Speaker 2:I know right, I know. So we got nine days right oh yes, we have nine days, 16 hours and 59 minutes.
Speaker 1:Before we're on Mexico soil. Yes, I can't wait.
Speaker 2:Before we are going through customs in Puerto Vallarta. I know this is going to be our smallest group since we've been coming. This is our fourth year going with y'all.
Speaker 1:I think it's going to be an amazing trip.
Speaker 2:I think it's going to be different, but fun we're going to miss the group.
Speaker 1:Yes, you know, y'all are renewing your vows.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:I've been working on my little thing a little bit have you yeah, I can tell you what I have.
Speaker 2:No to, but uh, yeah, it's gonna just be the four of us. I like how we're just gonna stand up in the middle of the restaurant.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm gonna be like hey, we're renewing their vows right here well, the good thing is the restaurant is out on the beach.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's gonna be amazing. Do y'all think the uh, the people that are on the beach, you know that want to sell you blankets and watches and all that are gonna be bothering us? It's likely because they bother us every year. Should I make a sign? No, no, no, I got this says go the fuck away they wouldn't understand it I know I'm gonna ask my guy to put it in spanish oh okay, it says go the fuck away in spanish.
Speaker 1:Well, who's this guy you speak of? Pedro because that could be many people what there's many people named pedro. Could be many people what there's many people named pedro pedro at my job site. Oh okay, that guy, that guy, anyways. Nine days, 16 hours. We will be in mexico for seven days or five days, whatever. Most people are six days six days I plan on?
Speaker 2:I plan on not getting drunk the first night you lie, I didn't last year like a dirty rug. What not the first night? Wait, remember last year was. I was a good boy, us and nick and kelly, and darren and sylvia yeah, it was, there was eight of us yeah, okay I could maybe believe that the year before is when you smacked with a sucker the second night's when I got hammered. Well.
Speaker 1:Anyways.
Speaker 2:So why is your goal not to be messed up on the first night though I was joking, oh.
Speaker 1:I can't really tell you that.
Speaker 2:He plans on being drunk for seven days.
Speaker 1:I plan on getting off the plane hammered. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And you know that these two special, special men are going to be. Can I ride with my best friend? Can I sit with my best friend? What's wrong with?
Speaker 1:that.
Speaker 2:And be shaking their ass like Chloe. Can I ride with my best friend?
Speaker 1:Well, I'll be like no sit down, Not that we don't consider y'all our best friends as well, and we had this conversation the other day we did. We did. You know, I I really feel like you were my best friend, but there's more than one best friend me and mike would not get in trouble, I promise you lie. No, we will not. Lies unsupervised on the plane will be fine where y'all sitting, hopefully at the back I don't remember, I don't even know where we're sitting well, we're gonna do it.
Speaker 1:Okay, we'll just test it out. No, one on the way there.
Speaker 2:If it doesn't work out, then on the way home we'll ride together I think the only way that I would agree to this is if stephanie and I are sitting way up front and y'all are sitting way in the back. That way there's deniability. If y'all are being stupid and fuck up and get like kicked off the plane, we can just be like look at those dumb asses, I know, and get off first and then we just yeah and we can get off first look, okay, whatever, we'll just say that we're sitting that far away deniability
Speaker 2:me and mike are gonna walk on together and when y'all point and say oh, those are our wives, we're gonna be like you wish. I'm gonna look around me and be like, oh, poor thing, why do we be all with the fucking peanuts?
Speaker 1:see, see, what did I just say what no, no, we're gonna be good, we're gonna be great, we're gonna be great no, I think it's gonna be a really good time have you, uh, figured out what we're doing with the dogs? Yeah, it's called seth allen oh, yeah, that's right, he's coming home. I forgot, totally forgot. Yeah, it'll be bad, it'll be. Yeah, that's right, he's coming home. I forgot, totally forgot, totally forgot. It'll be good. Look at that one as he peeked over the corner.
Speaker 2:I know Jackson's like wait what you mean.
Speaker 1:But in PV, I mean, is there something that y'all want to do? I mean, I know we're going to go to Sayulita.
Speaker 2:Sayulita.
Speaker 1:Same. Thing.
Speaker 2:I mean I think I said this last week, but I'm looking forward to just some downtime, yes, like on the beach, lay down or even by the pool, I don't care, but I just want some.
Speaker 1:Sitting on the balcony. I want to Listen to some music, play some dominoes.
Speaker 2:I want a dirty monkey. Dirty monkey sounds so good. A dirty monkey.
Speaker 1:That sounds dirty.
Speaker 2:I mean it kind of is it is Especially after you've had Like six or eight.
Speaker 1:I hope Juan's still there, because last year Then you start licking the chocolate. So Y'all just made this weird.
Speaker 2:It's got bananas and rum. I'm hoping Juan's there. Which one Exactly?
Speaker 1:No, the guy I give the cups to.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Cause he always.
Speaker 2:I know we gotta take him A new cup this year.
Speaker 1:I was going to. I was gonna take him. Donald Trump was my president, oh gosh, oh god.
Speaker 2:I don't have one of those.
Speaker 1:I think we do. We don't. Well, I'll find something. So I mean, we're about 40 minutes in. I would like to All of us go around and say what we're thankful for sure let's go first stephanie okay well, I'm in the middle of the circle joke so I can't go first oh, okay, uh, yeah, no problem.
Speaker 2:So, um, and we used to kind of do this as a tradition, um, until mike's best friend passed away, um, but we would hold hands in the kitchen and say what we were thankful for, but we'd always end up in tears. I promise I won't cry and make it awkward today, but I'll say, for the most part, not just my husband that's cliche but just the people that are around me. As an adult I don't know I feel like I've finally found my crew, if that makes sense. Growing up, you have friends, you have people around you, but you don't realize that they come and go and that they're not always the best people to have around you. So I'll say that my crew, my people, my neighbors, I mean just everybody that's around me now. I'm truly thankful for them. Obviously, my job and you know just the material things that I have, but I know they could all be taken away. But my friends, my family, is what I'm thankful for, right, and that you weeded out the bad ones.
Speaker 1:You're up next.
Speaker 2:Quick, because there were some bad ones. I'm just saying You're up next, I blame you for those. I blame ones. I'm just saying You're up next, I blame you for those, I blame you. I'm in pictures with those people, I know it. I mean, like Stephanie, right, like, of course, the usual things my husband, my kids, my grandbaby oh, little Rosie and my job. I mean, my job is stressful but I'm thankful for it because I really enjoy my job most days. But yeah, I think, just I think the this is going to sound. I don't know if this is going to sound bad, but like the comfortability with my life that I'm, I'm happy. I've got everything I need, everything I want, I've got the people around me that I want to have around me. I got you know, like I'm thankful for that to be able to do that every single day you know, I am thankful this is gonna get deep for us.
Speaker 1:I'm amazing I was going for us so I'm thankful for the kids, the family, you. My mother's still with us and still strong as can be, which I love. That she got her new puppy, which I'm thankful I think that's actually giving her. What do you call it?
Speaker 2:Purpose.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's a puppy.
Speaker 2:A little pep in the step.
Speaker 1:Kinks are active. But I am thankful for y'all. I'm thankful for you, ladies, letting us do what we do, because y'all could be on our ass a lot. Absolutely could we get away with murder me and my counterpart. You know we we don't do as much as we should do. We do we do over what we should do on things, but y'all always keep us down to earth, you keep us centered. And I am thankful for both of y'all because without y'all I would be in prison, mike would be doing porn, I don't know, or one of you would have syphilis and the other would have AIDS.
Speaker 1:Whoa, that's from gay sex.
Speaker 2:Well, we don't know what you want to do In them. Plane seats.
Speaker 1:When you want to sit next to him. You know what I'm saying. We just want to ride the plane Next to each other.
Speaker 2:Might be a little touchy touchy.
Speaker 1:We're not trying to get In a mile high club up there. I don't think we could fit.
Speaker 2:In the bathroom together. I told you when we were going to Miami that shit is bad for fat people.
Speaker 1:Now we're going to try.
Speaker 2:Oh gosh, I think we can do it. That's funny.
Speaker 1:But if my counterpart was up here he would say a lot about the same. He was thankful for his dad, his parents and for his beautiful wife. I am thankful for friends and everything our job I got a great job and I'm thankful to wake up every day and breathe.
Speaker 2:Damn it.
Speaker 1:I mean, that could be a tough one right.
Speaker 2:You're glad you're on this side of the dirt is what you're saying.
Speaker 1:All right, peeps, I think we're going to call this as a wrap for the Thanksgiving show. Okay, ladies, I want to thank y'all very much for joining us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 1:I think we should do this more often, once in a while in Mike's busyness.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I've been busy too. There are a lot of times I can't do it, so if I'm busy, then y'all need to step in or y'all need to help him out. That way, the show continues.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay.
Speaker 1:I'm okay with that. I mean there's always, you know definitely.
Speaker 2:See, that's what would happen if we tried to do the show, we wouldn't do the music right at all. Well, I mean there's always yeah, or leave a thing unplugged, you know.
Speaker 1:Well, I normally don't do this because you know, I have a producer. His name is Craig. He's really shitty at what he does.
Speaker 2:Oh my God. Oh my God. Craig is having a hard time trying to plug in a usb. I put some hair around it there we go.
Speaker 1:Well, I appreciate you, ladies, for joining me thank you for having us. Thank you, I think it's gonna be a really good show. All right, okay, now shut up. Ho, oh jesus christ. All right, ladies. I really appreciate it was a great show.
Speaker 2:See you next time. Yeah, burn it up Blondo. Burn it up Blondo.
Speaker 1:Burn it up Blondo. Hey Bitch, I'm from Texas, where we sit riding swangers and put diamonds in our niggas.
Speaker 2:I'll drink inside my lemonade till it look like a baby. This one gets.
