THESHITSHOWS
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THESHITSHOWS
whats' a MATA mike
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yeah, yeah. This is the shit show, this is craig. This is mike who, mike who mike jones mike jones. What's your number eight? I don't know. Oh, anyways, that's mike jones right there. Thanks for tuning in. It's gonna be a shitty day ha ha god, you still don't know the number.
Speaker 2:Man, I'm not I'm too old, I don't even remember what I did last night bro, everybody knows mike jones's number I know what we almost did last night. We almost hopped in the 64 impala and went to the GM of the Mavericks house.
Speaker 1:I don't know why you didn't.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I would have been bailing you out. We couldn't find nobody to drive us.
Speaker 1:That was the key. When I left, y'all were definitely not in the right mind to me.
Speaker 2:And I don't know where he lives.
Speaker 1:I can find him.
Speaker 1:Yeah probably, but I wasn of it, thank god. What's up folks? What's up people? Hey, man, we, we love, we love, we love all the attention. We know we're out there hard to paint, we're getting a lot of downloads, we're getting a lot of emails. We love it. Keep it up. Uh, it's a whole new shit show we got people want to be on part of the show, be, be, call in. There's something that we have a debate right now on on emails and facebook about something that has nothing to do with us, but I'm digging the shit out of it.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, I don't know how that got brought up today.
Speaker 1:Bro, it was like a full-on debate, son, about Kamala.
Speaker 2:Well, if I was going to meet up and shit, we're going to set up a paper, I'm all about it.
Speaker 1:Then he sends me a text saying that he felt like he could use another band on Facebook, a 30 day band. I'm like what the hell?
Speaker 2:He's ready to get down and ratty ratty and batty batty.
Speaker 1:Look, I don't know what he's about, but all I know is they were about to bust off over Kamala or whatever it was.
Speaker 2:A picture Somebody got Kamalian'd.
Speaker 1:I think so.
Speaker 2:Maybe Show them right.
Speaker 1:She's blended right, It'd be alright. The black Indian Depends on what she wanted to be for that right.
Speaker 2:Whatever the day is.
Speaker 1:Whatever the day. I mean, she was a little southern, what do you call them? She was a preacher there one time. You know, you know, you know, tony, that would have been your president, because you always say if somebody is elected, what do you do? Anyways, that's your president, that's your president.
Speaker 2:So how's everybody's week? It is hey, because if I don't stop you, you're just going to ramble.
Speaker 1:No, I won't ramble. I won this whole deal, so I'm feeling happy about life.
Speaker 2:I don't know what the fuck you mean. You won. What does that mean? We all know what.
Speaker 1:I won about what the fuck?
Speaker 2:are you talking about? I won because you won most annoying motherfucker, my president.
Speaker 1:Donald Trump, he's our president. Man, I love you. Say it again.
Speaker 2:He's our president.
Speaker 1:I love it. Say it again.
Speaker 2:Suck my dick.
Speaker 1:Wow, I don't want to do all that. Man, I got aggressive quick, I got nothing.
Speaker 2:Listen, I got nothing against Trump. I hope he does a great job.
Speaker 3:I said it last show.
Speaker 2:I wish they didn't even have to go through this confirming process.
Speaker 1:Just let him go. I'm glad the father was done with all that bullshit. I think there's two more people that have to confirm, but either way I'll put it to you like this Everybody wants to talk about everything he's done.
Speaker 2:It's all good and gravy, but ain't shit done. That affected me personally. I got you. I mean eggs are cheap. Eggs are non-existent right now. It's a joke, they. And that has nothing to do with him.
Speaker 1:Them chickens don't like little eggs when it's cold apparently.
Speaker 2:Well, they had the stomach flu or something.
Speaker 1:Oh a bird flu. I forgot about that. Hey, wave at the camera. Now we are live. We love the YouTube followers.
Speaker 2:I think that's what stepped up our game Because of me. I know it's my fucking 10-piece.
Speaker 1:You got titties on your hat. You know. That says titties, not titles. By the way, yeah, for all you golfers out there, can I keep it real? That's what I'm talking about. It is because you are a dime piece. I love titties.
Speaker 2:I like dimes, you like dimes, you like dimes.
Speaker 1:You want to like dimes. Dimes are correct, they fit in your pocket spot. You know what I mean. One we we got some people, we got some guests. We're gonna go through some emails, but we definitely have our uh, some neighborhood friends. Uh, we got mata and definitely era um.
Speaker 2:We're gonna. We'll introduce them later, but let's get these emails first, michael.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right. Hey look, we may have some technical difficulties. We're rolling out some new here comes the grammy award we're gonna find out, here we go shit shows.
Speaker 2:2024, let's go. This is the coolest part of the show, where we read your emails on the low.
Speaker 3:But the best part is hearing me flow.
Speaker 2:So let's get to this shit, bro. Well, today's emails are brought to you by me, motherfucker. So we got an email from damian wilkins. He says who do you think will win the super bowl? And if it is the chiefs again, how many conspiracy theories will start over it? Number one the conspiracy theory started the minute the playoffs started. Yeah yeah, yeah, here's my prediction, as much as I don't want to see it, I think it's going to be Philly 35-17.
Speaker 1:Man, you know what? The only reason I want to be Philly it kills me.
Speaker 2:It kills me to say that you need to have been a.
Speaker 1:Cowboys fan, but I want to see an NFC team win.
Speaker 2:I don't. Here's why I want that, not the Eagles. I don't want to see the Eagles or the Redskins. That was the worst.
Speaker 1:That was the worst, but out of the two people that were there, I would much rather Philly be there than somebody like Washington Cowboys. I would love to be there.
Speaker 2:We know where we're at with that. I'm just ready for Taylor to win her second in a row, her second.
Speaker 1:Super Bowl. I think that whole deal. Does she get a ring? Does she get a ring? No, but I've seen this meme where, you know, after they won the championship it was like here's what Kelsey's doing. She's blowing her back out. And it was like Napoleon Dynamite bent over she's growing some ass on her. She's getting the shit.
Speaker 2:Lainey Wilson, she looks hot, I'll tell you what. I don't have anything Personally against Taylor Swift Because people will think, oh, you don't like them Because of this, but I just don't like her music. But watching her At the award shows Is the best thing Because she's just like I would be Like when I go to a concert. I'm a completely different person. I'm a completely different person.
Speaker 1:I'm standing up.
Speaker 2:I'm singing every word Like and that's what she does, like she's. She's out there kicking it, and I love that part about her.
Speaker 1:You know, and she's not really Kelsey's norm. You know she, he likes the big girl With the big fat ass, kind of like we all do right, and they're usually A little darker.
Speaker 2:I love. I, personally, I'm turned on to women that look like my wife, which are like goddesses, and I don't look at anything else. I don't look at anything else. What are we talking about? Are you in trouble?
Speaker 1:No, have you done something that we need to talk about. What Do you need to give me a blink to let me know that you're in trouble of some sort Blink twice. Look, we've all heard this show several times and not normally said fine things about your wife. She is a goddess I love my wife. I would tap that ass in a heartbeat, but it's not my wife. But alright, so what do you think about the conspiracy theory?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, no, definitely it will.
Speaker 1:Didn't they ban or didn't they put the main ref that was in charge of the championship game? Didn't they suspend him for the next?
Speaker 2:year, because there were so many false statements. I think there was an MLB umpire or something, somebody. There was a ref that got fired.
Speaker 1:This is old. There was two because he was betting. That was a different guy. There was a ref part of the last championship game.
Speaker 2:So he got in trouble for betting.
Speaker 1:No, no, no.
Speaker 2:I know somebody who got in trouble for that.
Speaker 1:Look, look, we're going to go gambling. We just need to have my wife fucked up or whatever. What I'm getting at is there was an NFL ref the one for the last for the Bills game. That was suspended because there were so many calls that should have been called. But then it's a conspiracy. No one checks with this guy and finds out hey, have you been suspended or are you just off for the rest of the year?
Speaker 2:You know I'm going to end this part of that email with this I love you to death. But you know I can't trust half of what you say comes out of your mouth.
Speaker 1:I don't get my information from TikTok.
Speaker 2:Yes, you do.
Speaker 1:No, because why? You know why? Because TikTok now is like filtered and luckily I have. Tiktok. I could sell my phone that has TikTok downloaded on it for $1,500, bro, some people are paying two grand. Those are idiots. Yeah, but I will say last week we were talking about doing TikTok Live. I was going to use a new iPad. You were like you can't.
Speaker 2:You can't, you can't download it you can't download it.
Speaker 1:I'm like you got me. Right, then I'd have probably paid $1,500 for a fucking iPad that had downloaders on it.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. No, I still wouldn't have done that. I'd rather just get an old phone.
Speaker 1:Well, I wouldn't have got a loan. You know One of those Affirm loans. You know what they're for. I heard about them oh.
Speaker 2:Lord. Anyways, all right, what else we got? We got another. He wants to know how, in today's society, people still think they can road rage and not get flipped off or worse.
Speaker 1:Now, if you're roading me, I'm definitely going to. Yeah, I cut people off and I don't mean to, it's just the way I drive.
Speaker 2:It's very rare that I flip people off. I normally just give them a flyby.
Speaker 1:What's a flyby?
Speaker 2:Especially if they're in their left lane, then you know if they're going the speed limit in the left lane which we all and I give them, I get close to them and I give them a minute to adjust. You know they got they can move over one and they don't. So I get over and then I don't signal and I probably got about two or three feet between my back bumper and their front bumper when I'm getting off you're gonna look like my neighbor's bumper.
Speaker 2:You see, my neighbor man, I've been doing that for years and I haven't done it me too, but I have, I have like you hear that knock on wood.
Speaker 1:I'm knocking on everything my has been catfished more times I can shake a stick at because I've been on that ass and they lock it up with me, not my. I think my reaction time's a little slow. People have called me slow before, but you know for different reasons my neighbor. You see my neighbor's truck. He's catfished, he definitely got. He slammed into something, oh really. But, dude, I I am notorious for chasing you through the neighborhood for the parking lot and when you, I don't got time for that shit bro, when you've done something that outrageously, that pissed me off, it don't take much.
Speaker 1:Piss me off. Well, I'm saying you ain't gonna do nothing. Oh bro, I would have whipped his ass all the way in the front. Everybody who does this shit ain't going to do nothing. Oh bro, I would have whipped his ass all the way into.
Speaker 2:France, Bro, everybody who does this shit ain't going to jail for that shit.
Speaker 1:You're not going to jail for a traffic sign, I know, but I'm definitely going to say some words.
Speaker 2:Okay, why is that?
Speaker 1:worth your stress, that's why you got gout.
Speaker 2:That is why.
Speaker 1:I chased him around fresh for 20 minutes and he whipped it in the parking lot like I didn't watch him.
Speaker 2:Nick does the same thing. I don't understand it.
Speaker 1:Look, all I need you to do is tell me that you're, you know you fucked up and I can move on with my day. But for you to consistently fuck up and be like, hey, fuck you, you prick, that's when I get a little offensive Right, just like my neighbors Having the fucking the car show of exhaust last Sunday.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And they have a cookout tonight. I have a feeling the cops are going to be called Probably. Probably. Not by me, though I don't call the cops.
Speaker 2:Stitches, get stitches.
Speaker 1:You know I'm okay with having a nice car and it sounding loud. I'm going to go get my friend's car, the Mata and the Mata, and we're just going to rev up down that fucking truck or that road and we're going to light it up Just white. Smoke them hoes, I'm all about. Let them call the cops.
Speaker 2:I will flatten their tires.
Speaker 1:And then you said they're cooking out, I'm going to run up and I'm going to snatch them, fucking weenies and hot dogs off the grill.
Speaker 2:What are they going to do? I didn't see not one seasoning on that grill. I'm just going to tell you that's what I'm getting at them weenies.
Speaker 1:They got all the meat in it. They're not just beef weenies, they cooking all the meat.
Speaker 2:That was so funny. I was cooking hot dogs for an event one time and somebody came up to me and said man, that's the best hot dog. What are you seasoning?
Speaker 1:Do you season your hot dogs? I?
Speaker 2:said sure, the with like my love, how season it?
Speaker 1:I mean cater for that, that the black couple was a black couple and you're asking about your cream yeah, no, no, she said.
Speaker 2:I knew it was going to be good when I saw seasoning on the sour cream they thought you were black when you went to the.
Speaker 1:I know she did. You know what happens.
Speaker 2:It happens all right so we got one more. I say it's the worst for me because this is just. I'm so heartbroken right now. So we got an email and there's an actor from the late 70s. He's from a TV show, very popular TV show, moving on up. He's actually gay and I did not know this until today Sherman Hemsley from that is George Jefferson, if you didn't know. George Jefferson was gay. Now, there's nothing wrong with that, but I didn't know. But I didn't know and it's like, wow, that was a shock.
Speaker 1:It makes me think now. Remember when him and Archie Bunker used to get into it. You think Archie knew he was gay.
Speaker 2:No, archie just thought he was black, and that's all was good enough for him. That's what TV shows were good, though.
Speaker 1:That's when you could say the word honky and get away with it.
Speaker 2:Or you didn't say the N word. Yeah, you couldn't say the N word, but you could say something else.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got you yeah.
Speaker 2:So that's the emails for this week. To the email Huh.
Speaker 1:The email says you gotta read the email, Jesus Christ. You act like you never read an email before you're in life.
Speaker 2:It says it's from Andrew White. It says Sherman Hensley. What other actors do you think were in the closet back in the late 70s?
Speaker 1:I'm sure I mean with today's society. Right, you would think there, of course, it was probably.
Speaker 2:I would have no clue if you telling me George Jefferson was gay. You didn't even know.
Speaker 4:I mean I didn't know I had to look it up actually our producer looked it up for us yeah, thanks producer.
Speaker 1:I mean I will say that she's hot. I would never thought he was gay either, but if I had to think, I think JJ was probably gay too. You think they were gay?
Speaker 2:no, jj was not gay.
Speaker 1:You didn't think George was gay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but JJ's not gay.
Speaker 1:You know who I know is gay.
Speaker 2:His brother maybe.
Speaker 1:What was the chick on? They had all these girls.
Speaker 2:Tootie was on there Facts of Life.
Speaker 1:Facts of Life. So who was the chick that played softball?
Speaker 2:All them chicks were gay on that show.
Speaker 1:No no, no, not all of them. I think in real life.
Speaker 2:Damn. What was her name? I don't know. You remember?
Speaker 1:she played softball. She was like the dude, the tomboy, the whole bunch. No, kim Fields, if you remember. Look, I'm not making up fake names and shit. We all know the guy from the littlest midget black guy. What was his name? He was 35, he looked 18, his brother George, and they moved to the rich man's house.
Speaker 2:I don't know it's going nowhere. We'll go. I was stretching that, alright, so Ramblin' man that's our emails of the week, so thank you for sending them.
Speaker 1:We have a bunch of them. We're going to increase them to more than three or two episodes. We might have a new song coming. We definitely do, because that one says 2024 and my boy is like he's backdated. We're going to do Diddy Mix.
Speaker 2:I don't want to be rubbed. Our producer has supplied us with baby oil, so we will be doing a remix.
Speaker 1:It's not baby oil, it's definitely baby gel. We like the baby gel. It doesn't stick to you as much, but we hear you. We definitely see the influx of all the emails and all the attention. Bring it on, pass this along to your friend. We're going to bring on some customers. We're going to bring on some people that actually want to be on the show and have called in and want to debate some stuff on the show, which is really good. If you do, you're getting these messages, these ads. I didn't create these ads, messenger did, or Facebook did. I apologize if you don't like them. Don't be a hunky, that's all I'm getting at. All right, so we do have some good friends of ours. You know they're new to the neighborhood and we have Mata. We have definitely. It definitely is era. It's Sarah, without the S. Don't get it wrong, don't get it twisted, because she'll let you know.
Speaker 1:Join us today. What's up? Beefs.
Speaker 2:What up, what up, or if you say that's a rare occasion.
Speaker 1:Well, the first time I met Mata, he said hey. I said how the fuck do you pronounce your wife's name?
Speaker 2:I still can't.
Speaker 1:I do it wrong In your head, but I know it's hard for you to do this but say Sarah, but just don't say the S there's too, many words. Look, we got to touch base on that. I made jokes before about how. Look, I'm going to ask her how this name comes about.
Speaker 2:I still call Selena Sylvia and Sylvia Slenia and Sonia Sylvia. I call my wife other names.
Speaker 1:I call her stephanie, dude. She's like I am your wife and I'm like, maybe, if you give me a little rubber tug every once in a while, that's too many mexico chips, wait a minute. And stephanie, I'm like, come on now, only in my, my dreams, right, anyways. So era yes, how did the era come about? I mean, was it a mistake? Nothing wrong. I love the name, the name. It's unique, it's badass. My name is Craig with an E, so it's like Krieg. So when Siri talks to me and I say, hey, siri, what's my name? Calling Krieg? Because my grandmother went down and filled out my birth certificate information and you had to leave the hospital before you could fill this paper, or you couldn't leave the hospital.
Speaker 4:You filled it out oh man, you're gonna love who she's named after she miswrote my name, even though her son is named craig.
Speaker 1:She misspelled my name, so I've been. I didn't know I was krieg and so I wouldn't know my driver's license. They're like uh, sir, your name's krieg. I'm like, no, it's craig, anyways, era.
Speaker 3:Let's hear this how did my name come about? Who are you named after? I was'm German and German and Irish, so I was named after Ara Parsegan, notre Dame football coach.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I know who it is Fighting Irish yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:So no, I wasn't a mistake. No, no, no.
Speaker 2:The name, the name.
Speaker 1:Some people have. Maybe somebody pronounced it different.
Speaker 4:Spelled it wrong.
Speaker 1:Or not even spelled it different. It pronounced it wrong or not even spelled it. They were just a you know, hey, I wanted this really to be this, but actually it's, you know, era, right, that's pretty dope, though. Thank you. And mata, you know he's wearing a small how'd you get your name? Yes, I mean it's probably the truth.
Speaker 4:It's the other way around. It's probably the other way around, I guess.
Speaker 1:Small pockets. Deep dick yeah, whatever Deep dick, I don't know. Aaron, how is it? I bought him that shirt. It's not that deep, I mean. So my wife's made the mistake of buying me a shirt. It is wintertime, a novelty shirt, yeah. And then I never my novelty shirt and her sister's like, oh, another novelty shirt. She's such a bitch.
Speaker 2:I had to throw away a couple of mine. This week I was heartbroken.
Speaker 1:Dude, I cleaned out clothes like you wouldn't believe after the holidays. How many Nine bags, nine bags of clothes we threw away that we'll never wear again. My wife packaged up probably 10 totes that she thinks she's going to get into again, but who knows Anyways. So tell us about y'all. I mean, y'all are new to the hood, yeah, so you know, I've been new to the environment before. We were all new here about the same time. But you go to a new school, you go to a new job, you go to a new anything. Yeah, how is that transition?
Speaker 4:Man, it's been easy getting acclimated to this neighborhood. Very easy, very welcoming neighborhood. It's small, it's small, it's easy. And when we moved in, right when we moved in, remember y'all were having the pool party.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, Adult-only pool party. Adult-only pool party.
Speaker 4:I thought y'all lived here a minute before that, no, but we had only been here four days. Oh right, yeah, so, and then we got the pleasure of meeting you and your Speedo. Yeah, you know, that was stupid, it was a great icebreaker I knew at the moment.
Speaker 1:It wasn't Doug.
Speaker 4:Daddy, I, I knew right then this neighborhood was perfect, right here. What a shit show.
Speaker 1:It is. I will say we lived here almost a year and a half, almost two years, before we even met. Yeah, no one really went to the pool.
Speaker 2:It was longer than that because we moved here in 2016., 2016., 2016, 17. And then we met COVID. So that was three years.
Speaker 1:So no one really went to the pool, or no one really gelled, I guess, in my set. Nobody wanted to come out. Finally I went to the pool and, bro, I was hammered. Yes, we'll get to that later, but I mean, I was like honey, I met friends. I went to a whole Tito's handle of vodka that day, talking shit, let's go to dinner, we're going, there's a Wednesday night, we ended up it. So Joe and they were like we're gonna call this before. I'll make you take us there. Yeah, next day my boys like he's stuck up to the house with a bottle of Tito's bottle cranberry juice and my wife goes. I think that might guy brought you some Tito's as though, like that's legit, right there and then she said he's hot.
Speaker 1:He didn't say that he's hot.
Speaker 4:She thought she was going to be raped, but anyways, no, so no, but like I said, it was easy. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I mean it can be difficult, especially when you're moving to a neighborhood where they say a clique Well, not a clique, but people, couples that have been together or hung out for a while. It can be hard to fit in.
Speaker 4:Sure, I can see that. Yeah Well, I guess I wouldn't say it's hard to fit in. You kind of check out your surroundings, all the people that are in the neighborhood. Obviously there are some cliques in the neighborhood, which is perfectly fine, that's okay. No worries, but you see which groups have a bunch of kids and the groups that don't. You see the role there.
Speaker 1:Right right.
Speaker 4:So we don't. So we migrated to the group with no children.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying the children are bad, fuck them kids. Fuck them kids.
Speaker 4:Fuck them kids. But we've got kids, but they are all grown. I'm pro-choice.
Speaker 1:I've got one more at home.
Speaker 2:I got a grandbaby.
Speaker 1:A grandbaby style. She wants Grandfather. Eventually she is like American, but she also is half Hispanic, so I'm teaching her to call me grandfather. I know I love it In British and she's got it down, now she's grandfather as she gets older. Say, she's two, now Give her five, and she's actually got that accent. Now I will give that girl the world, bro, anyways. So we definitely don't have kids. I got one left at home. Y'all just got rid of one or not got rid of one.
Speaker 3:Oh no, he's still at our house and he says he's not going anywhere.
Speaker 4:No, he's talking about Cody.
Speaker 3:Yeah, cody, oh Cody, I thought you meant Landon. Yeah, but Landon. Even Landon is he may not leave until y'all leave. You know what I mean. No, he's going to stay.
Speaker 1:You don't have to make sure he's up for school.
Speaker 4:You don't have to make sure, no, he's.
Speaker 1:I know that's what I want to talk about, so how did he graduate early?
Speaker 4:This one right here pulled it off.
Speaker 1:I mean I really want to know this because I don't know what school he goes to, if he went to advanced school or what kind of academics he has. Seems like a really smart kid. I dug him. We kind of got gelled together on Thanksgiving and had a good conversation. How?
Speaker 3:did. He was able to graduate early. Well, for the longest time he was really messing up. He was on a bad path and he was fighting all the time. We won't talk about that, but it happens. Yeah, he was fighting and getting getting into things he shouldn't, and so I grabbed him up and put him into a choice school that is run like a military school and it completely changed his life. So he went into this school and graduated a year early and he's doing great yeah, like I said, we thanksgiving, we sat around, we shot the shit.
Speaker 1:You know, really smart kid. And that's awesome being a graduate early, yeah that not only does that, what it does is bring brings you to adulthood quicker but it also gets you ready for life quicker, for sure, and now he's working full-time.
Speaker 2:That's awesome.
Speaker 4:Working full-time doing plumbing and HVAC Okay, at 17 years old.
Speaker 1:Look my son.
Speaker 2:The boy's going to be making six figures when he's 25.
Speaker 1:It took us a minute. I'm in a trade. It's taken me over 20 years to get where I'm at in this field. If I would have just stuck out college another two years, three years, I would have graduated and been able to make what I'm making now. But I don't knock what we do in the trade by no means because I think it makes you a man. I think it makes you a person, an adult, quicker, absolutely. I have nothing against the trade whatsoever.
Speaker 2:Agreed. I think we need more Definitely.
Speaker 1:But if I could put him in that path where he, you know, let him go to school. He wants to get that stamp, that engineer you know yeah. But I did it the backside way. You know it took me a while to get my journeyman, my master's, right To move up in this world If he can graduate with an engineering stamp and in four years make what I'm making everybody wants to cut the easier path for the kid, but not really.
Speaker 1:I want him to struggle? Yeah, for sure. I don't want him to come to work with me on the summer when he graduates, for multiple reasons. One I don't want to see that quick money he's going to make and think I don't need college, because not everybody needs college Right, it ain't everybody.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It wasn't for me. Yeah, my dad showed up, pulls up and I'm sitting on a stoop and I'm like what are you doing here? Why do you have a trailer? Yeah, it's because I hadn't been to school all semester, Right, but that's awesome, he graduated. When I seen that, I was like dude, that is sick, Him and my youngest.
Speaker 2:they graduated from the same place. That's right, I didn't know that no Devin was in the same place.
Speaker 1:So when we moved out here from Dallas it was a culture shock because we didn't live in the hood, but it was hoody. Your neighbor's yard looked like the first 48 and hoarders all at the same time. To look like the first 48 and hoarders all at the same time.
Speaker 2:But so when he moved up to Rockwall it was a culture shock for him because you got all these kids. You go to Rockwall Heath's parking lot and it's like there's Benzes and Jeeps and lifted trucks and Cadillacs and my kid ain't even you know, know, he's 17 years old. He didn't even have his car, yet his license yet.
Speaker 2:The girls would bitch about him. So he'd come home from school and be like Stephanie, would be like how was your day? He'd go. I hate this fucking school. This bitch this morning was crying because her mom didn't stop him and get her Chick-fil-A. So he spent about a year and a half. He got into several fights and finally it was like he wanted to quit and get his GED. There was this option and I was like no, I'd rather for you to have your divorce. Almost that was a cool deal. I'm glad we did it.
Speaker 1:I didn't know that. I thought he actually was going to Heath when he finished.
Speaker 2:He went to Heath. He played football the first year. Then he dropped out of football the second year. The latter part of that year was just hell. It was bad.
Speaker 1:I would say anytime you're in any type of organized sports, and that's why, from day one, I had to agree with Seth it's organized something. You don't go to college, you don't have to play ball in college. It's either that or the military Obama made it to where we have to pay for insurance for these kids until they're 26. We should have some say-so until they're 26. Right, right, and ultimately he turns 18 in two months. He could go, tell me, to pound sand two months and there's nothing I can do, right. But I think I've raised him very well to where he respects the agreement we have. Um, if not, he gets the out right, right, right.
Speaker 1:But that dude when I seen that I wanted to come over and congratulate him, because that's a legit thing, dude?
Speaker 4:yeah, for sure. I think it's great that some of these districts offer this to these kids, because some of these kids know look, I'm not going to be a football superstar, I'm not going to be a doctor, I'm not going to be a lawyer.
Speaker 3:And there's nothing wrong with that, and there's nothing wrong with that. We need that in this world.
Speaker 4:You're going to be a tradesman.
Speaker 1:tradesmen, you know these tradesmen are making more than doctors. Lawyers yes, you know all that making a killing.
Speaker 4:These lawyers and doctors are leaving school with hundreds, of hundreds and hundreds of thousand dollars of school debt right exactly in debt immediately you know, and you're working to pay off debt they make a lot of money, but that shit is.
Speaker 1:It's anywhere from 25 to 30 thousand dollars a month.
Speaker 4:Right, student loans they're paying Right right. So now he's going straight from high school straight into a trade. That's amazing. Straight to my money and he's got drive.
Speaker 1:There's a kid in the neighborhood that he's 11, and we've talked about him before and this kid has actually started his own power washing business. Come over and did mine. Loved it, dude, he killed it. He's 11 years old, he's got his own cars and I'm sure his parents pushed him that way, but we've talked about it before. Anytime he's ever talked to you. It's yes, sir.
Speaker 2:Yes sir, I told his mom I would love to kidnap him.
Speaker 1:If there's food out, may I make me a plate. Sir Right, he's never just walked, never prick. You know what I mean and that's what I love. That about your boy though, yeah, I've seen that, you know, on his face he's happy.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and you'll love it, dude, you'll make him more adult now, absolutely.
Speaker 1:And I hate that because I want Seth to follow my footsteps. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I'm not saying I don't want him to continue, but if he can take that little extra step to where you don't, have to fight like we did. We all want better for our kids than what we did. I come straight out of the field. I'm a hustler. He don't have it like I do and I hate to say that. Everybody said it. He can walk like me, but he can't talk like me. Not in today's world. But, dude, when I seen that on Facebook.
Speaker 4:I was impressed and I knew she had a lot to do with it. Everything to do with it. I had nothing to do with it.
Speaker 1:My wife is a dominant stepmother, but not a stepmother not any time has Seth thought of her as a stepmother. Matter of fact, if anything, the motherly figure that she, that he got from her, benefited him wholeheartedly right fun fact.
Speaker 2:That's my favorite porn.
Speaker 4:It's funny you say that because, if you don't know, this is stepmom.
Speaker 1:Which makes it even greater.
Speaker 3:But it ain't stepmom.
Speaker 4:No, not at all, I'm not stepmom to him.
Speaker 1:That's what he does it took a while, but the first time I heard him Seth referred to I'm going to be in trouble for that later Selena, as mom, I fucking melted Right. Selena had to fucking excuse herself because she was over herself. You know what I mean? Sure, I mean, it's a big deal.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, it's a real deal.
Speaker 4:It's a lot of effort that she put into it, because you didn't sign up for that.
Speaker 3:No, we've come a long way, just like her.
Speaker 1:She, her kids were Well up, you know, well up. They already left the house. The last one was in college. The last thing she wanted Was a smaller child In the house. She was empty nested.
Speaker 3:Oh boy, she wanted to fucking have fun. You know, oh boy, me too, I'm old, my kids are grown.
Speaker 1:And then I pick up this one and that's what happened. But it's hard to turn down some real shit.
Speaker 4:You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:No, I'm talking about. I picked up this child too.
Speaker 1:Living with this one. If you don't think I'm a fucking child, you're looking in the wrong place. Boy, I am her biggest child.
Speaker 4:We'll get into it too.
Speaker 1:She told me that in our wedding vows that I'm her biggest challenge ever yeah, but at the same time, she would never do anything about it. You know what I mean? She took Seth in and scooped him up, just like you did, and it's amazing.
Speaker 4:The turnaround it does to these kids.
Speaker 1:I commend you on that.
Speaker 4:Thank you for recognizing that. That's awesome.
Speaker 1:Oh, dude, that's legit.
Speaker 2:Thank you. And it takes believe it or not, it takes a village.
Speaker 1:But it also takes someone that's in the same boneyard, like I am, to see that really these motherfuckers have been together forever. They raised their kids together forever.
Speaker 2:Speaking of together. Let's talk about y'all. It's Valentine's Day week, yeah.
Speaker 4:How did y'all meet? How did y'all meet? Give us y'all's story. We met in the streets.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm talking about. We met the streets.
Speaker 4:No really in the streets we were, but I was streets of my streets may be different no, no, no.
Speaker 3:I was volunteering through the hurt for the tornado when it hit ralette the 2015 tornado, when it was all gone so I I was volunteering a big group and then this guy comes on scene yeah well.
Speaker 4:So I saw this. I had a bunch of friends that were helping her.
Speaker 1:Tell me you didn't see her on the backside, Like I'm going to get that.
Speaker 4:No, you wanted to know who the boss was. So I've got to hook up with Sunbelt Rentals and I get all this equipment, you know. So I find out that she's out there cleaning these houses up for people that don't have insurance. So I show up with three bobcats, two excavators and some dump trucks Coming in hot. No clue who was running the show. No clue who was running the show. And I was like hey, who's the boss? And they point this way and I turn around and there's nothing but ass.
Speaker 2:Boom, that's what I'm talking about Ass and titties.
Speaker 4:So I walk right over. I'm like boy I said. I said now you've got it. You had them for 30 days, now you have them for 90. All the equipment. What can we do?
Speaker 3:So yeah, that's how we met, but he chased me for I don't even know weeks in my DMs when are we going out when?
Speaker 1:are we doing? What are we doing?
Speaker 3:Oh, I did not. I had just come out of a 20-year marriage.
Speaker 1:And I wanted to go through my whole face. I really did. My producer is waiting.
Speaker 3:Yes, I wanted to play with my new toy and I said I played with it until I blew it up and so he finally pinned me down and was like okay, we have to go for drinks, I don't drink, we have to go to dinner, I don't want to go to dinner. He's like will you at least have an appetizer with me? And I'm like, oh, my God, fine. So we make arrangements to meet and I show up two hours late because I did not and he stuck around. I got the warehouse and Rockwall.
Speaker 3:Oh, you were, plus he was. I'm chilling. We hadn't even met like outside of you knew it was coming.
Speaker 4:You fucking stuck it out. Yeah, I stuck it out. So I stayed there with a whole bottle of wine by myself.
Speaker 3:That's respect he was drunk, so I finally show up. He stuck around two hours by myself, absolutely because, I did not want to. He was still there. No, he's so much younger than me, he's 11. Are you kidding?
Speaker 4:me Dude, I took her straight home.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 4:Afterwards. So you blew it up that night I did, bro, oh my it was a job interview.
Speaker 3:I was interviewing him for this job.
Speaker 1:Okay, come on.
Speaker 3:I had to see if he was worse.
Speaker 1:I met her on tenderella and I had whiskey dick because I got so fucked up and so it was oh, you too, huh it was awful.
Speaker 3:I literally told him the next day when he called me don't ever call me again. It was terrible oh, it was, oh, it was so bad it's cold-blooded, she did bro I bro, I did, and it took him weeks.
Speaker 2:I woke up the next morning like, oh fuck, dude, Did I just do this?
Speaker 1:I told you, though, for waiting and fucking letting him sit for two hours.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you know that's what you get.
Speaker 1:Dude me and my wingmate out at the bar. We hit it. Well, we didn't hit it. I made sure she was whiskey digging. What happened? No matter what. So we leave. So what happens? The maintenance guy of her apartment had the same vehicle I did. She calls me like two hours later Are you here? I'm like no, I'm at work. No, your truck's here. I'm like nope, I'm not. I had to take her selfies to show her where I'm at she goes. The maintenance guy has the same vehicle you do. He has a hard hat and a truck. I'm like I promise you it's not me. It wasn't that good last time I didn't get off. I didn't think she'd ever call me. That's my Tinderella story.
Speaker 4:We met on Tinder, but we knew each other. Anyways, everybody knows the story, but that's awesome.
Speaker 1:That's how we met At the Ore.
Speaker 3:House. I thought it was alone, so I finally gave him another chance, and and then week three.
Speaker 4:Oh my god, she said I love you when I put it down. I I you know well, I went in for the kill sober that time yeah, okay, you pray and then he took the day off I was ready
Speaker 1:the day off, get ready. That's what Ben needs to do these days is take the fucking day off.
Speaker 2:He did the whole Mark Wahlberg thing and Biggie Nights.
Speaker 1:You don't walk in porn, you do the fucking cold plunge. You get ready for it.
Speaker 4:If you're going to throw down the good, dick and I threw it down, bro, and it ended with an I love you From this one. Wow this. From this one, wow this one.
Speaker 2:So you hit it and that first time, Like where was the I love you? Was it like right after you were done? No, bro.
Speaker 4:I ended up getting a really nice hotel for us because I felt bad about the first night.
Speaker 1:Don't tell me you got the fucking one down the street that's got the hotel.
Speaker 4:No, no, no the Hilton baby we went to the Hilton and I went in for the kill, bro, and it all worked out. And then, when I was done laying it down, I had a ring that was sitting on the nightstand. No, no, no, she did.
Speaker 2:What the fuck?
Speaker 4:Wow, that's what I'm saying this one did yeah. She grabbed my ring that was on the nightstand and looked at me and said I love you, Will you marry me? I put it down. It was good. He redeemed himself.
Speaker 1:So since then has he gave you any good dick? Are you still chasing that same old dick?
Speaker 3:I'm still here.
Speaker 1:That'd be a drug addict who'd be chasing that same old dick Are you still waiting on that good dick.
Speaker 3:I get it or I wouldn't be here. I had to teach him. He's 11 years younger, 11 years younger bro.
Speaker 1:My wife is a little older than me we won't mention her age, but she knows what she wants in life. She don't want it rough. What Did you say? My wife is only. She's only like eight years old or whatever. She's five years old still. Anyways, she's told me to slow it down. It ain't got to be so rough, it ain't got to be beat it up. It's going to be there. It's going to be there. It's going to be there, but I'm telling you.
Speaker 4:That's awesome 11 years difference 11 year difference.
Speaker 3:I have to tell you real quick, let's hear it he never in his life before me put his face down there.
Speaker 4:Whoa, that's a lie.
Speaker 1:You did not Remember. When I brought up and I said I may have a question for you. Yeah, I said, would you rather?
Speaker 3:Let's bring this up.
Speaker 1:Mike, remember the question last night you asked me after I come out into the fucking garage. No, okay, would you rather we're going to go one at a time. Okay, we'll start with. We'll start with Mata Mata let's start.
Speaker 2:Would you rather take?
Speaker 1:a shot glass of warm semen that's been sitting under a heat lamp or a pint glass of Mesa. You know what Mesa is, mesa Mesa, whatever the fuck it is. No, whatever the fuck it is, it's the ladies menstrual cycle you gotta drink some pussy blood or drink some semen or drink some nuts first off, I'd rather have it warm don't, yes, yes, don't A little more, babe, stop yes.
Speaker 4:Hey, yeah, yes, poor guy.
Speaker 1:Bitch. That's fucking stupid. So Stupid ass. You got to ask We'll go with you, Mata. Which one, which one?
Speaker 3:Hey, hey hey, you got to drink one, it's my period blood though, babe?
Speaker 2:No, no, that's not it.
Speaker 1:You don't know who it's coming from. It's not under a fucking warming lamp right you go.
Speaker 4:I think I'll go with option B. You're going to drink the semen? No, no, no.
Speaker 1:No, no, the other one, I'm woman. Yeah, all right, ms Ara.
Speaker 3:Oh, I have to oh. I'll swallow that semen.
Speaker 4:Because it's different. Great, I'll see you later. That's what I'm talking about, fantastic.
Speaker 1:So I come out here last night, hot you know, walking in there and they hit me with this question Mike was doing a semen too, which is gay as shit. Yeah, I'm not drinking pee. Look my whole life. I've probably been drinking at least a fucking 44 ounce of fucking. I got my red wings you know what I mean.
Speaker 4:I've been there. Don't take it down like a vampire.
Speaker 1:It ain't all at one time I'm going to fucking fight the demon. You know what I mean? I've never had fucking semen on my lips. No, happen, not gonna happen. But a woman? I can see a woman like I'm guzzling this right. I can see that. Not for a man. No, mike was going to take the semen, oh no, he's going to have babies in his body for years, oh, well, I don't know they were going to be coming out. And then nick the guy that got abducted aliens.
Speaker 1:He had a show last night and uh, nick was. I had questions. Nick's always got a stipulation for everything yeah, so is it hot, is it? Uh? Has it been treated, or has it been something? You know? Whatever that's? That's that's why I got abducted. Yeah, you would really do the semen still today today sober, stone, cold sober my secret if I fill the jar.
Speaker 2:That's the whole point.
Speaker 1:You can't know whose it is bro, it's look, it ain't mine, god damn it, I don't want to.
Speaker 2:I don't want to know who's his is.
Speaker 1:It'd be the best bloody. It'd be the worst bloody mary ever in my life, but I'd still fucking pound it before I would do. Semen for sure, sorry. What would our producers say? She never answered last night. Matter of fact, they both did. You know what she would say. I know what she's doing.
Speaker 1:The semen too yeah, I would definitely have to hit that with some hot sauce bro I don't give a fuck what's in it, as long as it wasn't semen. That shit's tacky. Especially, we don't get it very often. That shit's very tacky. You know what I mean? Fucking like but, it's in one gulp, look, look. I could drink that whole motherfucking pint of I put some Tabasco sauce in it.
Speaker 4:You know Some Cholula Cholula. You like Cholula All day, I know you do All day, I know you like Cholula.
Speaker 1:You should listen to my past episodes, Anyway. So we got back to that point. That was the one question.
Speaker 3:I was going to bring up that. I not true ever. I just I just thought it was.
Speaker 4:I've always thought it was just a waste of time.
Speaker 1:No, bro, that's the best time. Yeah, I know I enjoy it down there.
Speaker 4:No, I do now, you know, I've been taught a lot.
Speaker 1:I've got a really good teacher. I fight the forest down here. Yeah, it's me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I fucking fold if I got to ask him if he's ever fallen asleep while eating it.
Speaker 4:Oh, yeah, many times, many times, dead asleep, dead asleep.
Speaker 3:I have had to slap his head Mid and then Because he was drinking and he's down there and I slapped his head Like what are you doing?
Speaker 1:There's nothing better than a good pussy pillow. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying I love it. I like a good pussy pillow Trademark.
Speaker 1:Bro, trademark bro. My wife is notorious for like, like when we first started dating, we'd fuck like like monkeys, right, if it was out there, we'd go to bed naked and if we touched it was fucking on. Well, I've got a habit of really getting fucked up and like sleeping and still fucking. Times have changed, so yeah. So I'm like I'm like I'm rubbing her out full blown she's already orgasmic. I'm like I'm rubbing her out full blown, she's already orgasming. I'm asleep and she's like this motherfucker, but I get her all worked up and then go to sleep. Get her all worked up. So now if I touch her like that, I get jacked. Bro, it's like motherfucker, leave me where I am, leave me the fuck alone not me, our producer.
Speaker 2:She's a good foe. When I go to bed in a drunken stupor, I wake up the next morning and she looks at me with this big old smile and I'm like good morning.
Speaker 4:She's like smell your finger, Smell your finger she raped me while I was passed out.
Speaker 2:She used my finger to pleasure herself. She's gross.
Speaker 4:You do that now.
Speaker 3:Yes, I do.
Speaker 1:I've hidden all my wife's dildos because I don't want her. Not that she has a bunch of them, but we do have a drawer full of them.
Speaker 4:No, but we also have a swing. You have a swing. No, no, we've got the bed straps.
Speaker 1:We have those too, but we had to hide them, because our cleaning lady was like what the fuck are these for? Yeah, our kids have asked too.
Speaker 4:No, we tried the swing, but when it was hanging, yeah I'll tell you.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to tell you right now. I test out our swing. Mine hangs in the bathroom Now look.
Speaker 4:In the bathroom.
Speaker 1:Hold up them hooks them rusty motherfuckers they ain't been used in a minute.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but.
Speaker 1:I had them up. You know we have the French doors, yeah, so we have them up there, hooked up there. I like to be able to watch myself in the mirror. Okay, that's some cool shit. Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I'm like posing. She's like, who's videoing this? You know, my wife's a freak. She's just she's grown out of her freakiness because I am a freak at heart. Yeah, I'll fuck a fold. You know what I mean. I'll fuck a fold. Hey, look, if you ain't been with the wrong woman. I'm not saying my wife got foiled, but I would fuck a foal sometimes.
Speaker 1:No doubt we had some questions for y'all.
Speaker 4:I think we've touched a few of them but what are you passionate about?
Speaker 1:You got a lot going on in your life. You're very outgoing.
Speaker 4:I guess my biggest passion and it probably shouldn't be, but it is it's making my next dollar, my next move.
Speaker 3:That hustle.
Speaker 4:Yeah, my hustle my next move, because I mean I've got a family I've got to provide for. So that's really all I care about. Every day I wake up, what is my next move?
Speaker 3:I see you hustle all the time. It's my next move. He's passionate about being successful.
Speaker 4:Because of where he's come from. He wants to break that mold. He definitely came from the bottom, got to a point where I lost absolutely everything.
Speaker 1:You're not sitting with anybody else.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 1:Well, we haven't been where you've been. You know, as far as some technical difficulties? Yeah, we haven't been there, but we come up at the hood.
Speaker 4:Yeah, for sure, yeah, no, I get it. I mean I, Can't hear you.
Speaker 1:You're working on that Microphone. That's bad. We got a producer.
Speaker 4:Cheap-ass equipment, there we go.
Speaker 1:It's not cheap, it's just Anyways, so we.
Speaker 4:Still not there.
Speaker 1:We they hold. Still can't hear you. Check, check.
Speaker 4:Microphone. There you go.
Speaker 1:Anyways, they heard some stories about me growing up. Yeah, they probably thought that I had a silver spoon in my mouth. Mike said, yeah, you probably had a silver spoon. It's because you had heroin on it. That's pretty fucked up, wow.
Speaker 2:I don't remember ever seeing that.
Speaker 1:Just because you were fucked up, anyways, check, check. Anyways, all of a sudden we had problems. Checked, anyways, all of a sudden we had problems. You're good.
Speaker 2:Anyways, anyways, yeah, I'm going to say that?
Speaker 3:What are you passionate about?
Speaker 1:Yeah, what are you passionate about?
Speaker 4:I already said that.
Speaker 1:No, no, seriously. I know the hustle, but I see you in these cars.
Speaker 2:You have a hobby.
Speaker 1:I see you flipping this shit like you wouldn't believe it.
Speaker 4:But again and that goes right back to my next move and where my next dollar is going to come from how I'm going to support my family, that's really my biggest thing the cars, like you said. I mean there's cars flowing through my house all the time, all the time Buying and selling cars, because I do that just to make money. I don't do it for the sure. I love cars, I love all cars, but I'm not married to any of them either. I just want to make a dollar off of them.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. I see you flipping these cars a lot, some of them are badass cars.
Speaker 4:Oh, they're amazing cars. I wish I could keep them all. Oh, it'd be amazing. There's no room for it.
Speaker 1:God damn if I had a warehouse for everything that I spent on drugs back in the day. You know what I mean.
Speaker 4:So, but no other than that, I mean, my biggest passion is just making sure that you know my family is taken care of, you know that's it.
Speaker 1:That's what it's about. You know, you know we figured out what was wrong with my mic. Mike said I wasn't sucking that dick hard enough. There we go. Good job, now I know where we're at. But no, that's awesome. I mean, I love that I see all the rides coming in. Yeah, I think we fixed my mic finally after fucking 27 episodes. That actually sounds really good.
Speaker 4:Where the fuck have?
Speaker 1:you been Mike. Yeah, see if you would come up and help out part of the show you would let me know. Let's not get started on. Yeah, I smelled some and I thought maybe Nick was going to bring me one time and I seen him walking upstairs. He come up empty handed. So I'm really upset about this whole Philly cheesesteak, especially because you had cheese whiz. Anyways, ara, what are you passionate about? Don't say this motherfucker here.
Speaker 3:That one right there. That's my passion.
Speaker 1:He is a child at heart, just like I am. Oh my God, is that what keeps you on your toes?
Speaker 2:He wore his true costume on Halloween.
Speaker 1:Yes, he is the biggest titty baby there is. The whole titty got me. You set it off Next year expect a whole new level. Because I don't get out beat, hey bro.
Speaker 3:He's going to be a big penis next year. Like it's going to be a big penis next year.
Speaker 1:Like a legit one though you think you were here, I'm going to be a whole nother You're going to have to, bro.
Speaker 4:I'll continue to take it higher and higher every time. No, I'm going out.
Speaker 1:I'm going to rent somebody to fucking watch. It's going down next fucking hour.
Speaker 4:I'm going to spurt baby oil, whatever, the fuck happens.
Speaker 1:You're going to come as Diddy. I'm going to squirt baby oil, whatever the fuck happens. You're going to come as Diddy, I'm going to come over the. No, diddy's going to be like riding me or something. You know what I mean. It's going over the top. I don't get outplayed, you outplayed me that day.
Speaker 4:Yeah, my brother-in-law outplayed me one time in St Pad really did, I thought we were bringing it. Yeah.
Speaker 1:When I seen you that day. I kept setting up. I'm like this motherfucker here, yeah, a whole, nother level Good stuff, because that wasn't just like one piece, that was like you pieced that together.
Speaker 4:I had to piece it together, man. And the titties you had prior, the big ones, those were probably the about those fake titties.
Speaker 3:Is I got to donate those later? Oh, I would love to have them. I wish I would've got to donate them. I still have a set. Can I have them? Oh, they're bad. Yeah, they're awesome.
Speaker 1:I would be in so much trouble if I had those, because I would play. They are so realistic. The ones we have were real as shit. Yeah, no, I like a speed bag. You know now I can't so much, no more. But I would love to have titties like that, my titties I'd never leave the house, ever ever.
Speaker 3:I'm passionate about boobies. There's nothing. I know you are, I know you you've been through a lot you're a survivor 100%
Speaker 1:whether it be your talk about that. Let's hear it talk about that.
Speaker 2:We had Sylvia on a couple months back talking about her journey but give us a little insight on yours, if you'd like.
Speaker 1:She's a lot with her back and everything else.
Speaker 3:Well, you probably don't know, I've had two open heart surgeries in 2008, and then the last six years I've had five major spine surgeries because I have a disease in my spine, and then recently-.
Speaker 4:Oh, let's go back. What's this disease? Modified penetration? Oh, disease in my spine and then recently.
Speaker 1:What's this disease? It's modified penetration he wishes. You've already said small dick. He literally blew the back we already see that you are a short man. We had to get you a bigger chair for the fucking show damn wow is that the way we treat our guests?
Speaker 2:We treat our guests like that. Go ahead.
Speaker 3:It's called congenital disc disease. It's where my disc and my back turn to Swiss cheese, so they keep collapsing. So I have to have rods and screws all in my. To keep your C3. Which one are you at? Now I have C5, 6, and 7 done, and then I've had my lumbar from my si joint all the way up to like five.
Speaker 1:so I gotta ask when all these surgeries my mom's been through several spine surgeries have you lost feeling in your toes, your feet? You know my mom would burn her hands because she smoked and not realize that she her hands on fire because she has no, no, you know no, no feeling.
Speaker 3:So you know, this is the shit show.
Speaker 1:We're going to talk about that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I lost feeling in my toes on my left side and some in my female.
Speaker 1:In the accutuary. Yeah.
Speaker 4:So, you've been lying to me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's why we use the vibrator, your orgasms are fake.
Speaker 4:Yes, your orgasms are fake, no they're not fake.
Speaker 3:But, yes, with them cutting so much on my back and my spine, I have lost my mom's got a toy too.
Speaker 1:Probably she calls it a back massager, but it's really not. Oh Lord, yes, me too. It's got a two-stroke engine on it, a two-stroke engine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, feeling and my doctors tell me, that's because we've done so much on your spine. That's where all your nerves go um, and it's taken years. Uh, the first two years, I, you know, we, I could barely hi, babe, it's okay, barely yes exactly I make you I make you believe, baby, you do I made my wife believe one time.
Speaker 4:So you must be peeing on me.
Speaker 1:I'm peeing on you Now you're peeing on me. Whatever it takes, bro, I like to be peed on.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh. So yeah, but that's I mean, I've lost some sensation in my fingers. Let's switch gears.
Speaker 4:Hold on. No, no, no, it's good, we have actually a new sponsor.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's your phone guy, charge it. Iheartradio Podcast addict, podcast chaser. Also, you can always find us on Facebook, the Shit Show. Come see us every Tuesday, join in. Become the Shit Show. Alright, we're back. We're back, so speak it up. It happens, look. Sometimes you got to fake it.
Speaker 4:Sometimes you got to fake it, yeah, I guess. So Fake it to make it, fake it to make it.
Speaker 1:One time my wife got the best love in her life and she turns out it wasn't. You know. You give her uh-uh-uh. You know, happens, happens right. Mike, yes, and she turns out it wasn't. You give her uh-uh-uh, happens, happens right.
Speaker 2:Mike.
Speaker 1:Yes, I know you don't ever do that. Your wife rapes you at night.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all right, I've never had to fake it.
Speaker 3:Because you're asleep. Well, you're a man. You can rub up against the wall and it will Not me.
Speaker 1:I really threw down some good meat one night. I was really tired.
Speaker 2:Gave her a good wiener.
Speaker 1:We were up several hours. We partied in New Orleans. We were at a gay bar. We didn't realize we were at a gay bar Regardless. So we went back and I was going to give us a good dick and I was tired. So I was like, oh, she goes around, she comes back, she goes, you fucking faked it. I'm like, I'm tired.
Speaker 3:I'm tired.
Speaker 1:I'm tired. It happens, it happens, wow, like a woman's never faked it. You can't call a man out.
Speaker 4:No, for sure, 100% yeah, but I'm glad you're bringing it, you're bringing it.
Speaker 3:You know, as long as he believes, then I'm good. No, I don't have to fake it I'm not a believer anymore yeah I, I don't have to, that's why every time?
Speaker 4:yeah, let's go back now I'm looking down that's why.
Speaker 3:That's why I've trained him.
Speaker 1:Okay, he knows I mean good woman does is train her yeah, train, it's the ones you can't train I've had good training, I think I'm untrainable, but at the same time, because I'm I was already a pimp. You know what I mean my wife tells you every day she feel like she's treated or tested. I'm like man.
Speaker 2:Just because you've had sex with a lot of women don't make you a pimp. Good quality women. Good quality women.
Speaker 1:Palma and her five sisters are wore the fuck out right now. We're not even on speaking terms right now. So y'all met. You know the whole, the whole. Yeah, I did all that. Your tornado episode yeah, so how long before y'all got married?
Speaker 4:oh, that was pretty quick too after you came home.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I came home, uh two years yeah, two years, two years.
Speaker 4:We got married two years later. How long?
Speaker 1:before we met y'all was that uh, we've been married.
Speaker 3:That will be nine years, no seven no, nine years together.
Speaker 4:Seven years married.
Speaker 1:Yes yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah hey, it takes a jungle, it takes a village. Yeah, put up with younger person. Yeah, trust me, I wear her out yeah just my shenanigans the show yeah the show was brought about. Because we are a shit show, because we're idiots. Whatever I said, I'm going to until the day. I die, I'm going to go hard to paint.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no doubt.
Speaker 1:All day and when I'm not going hard to paint and you realize I'm not going hard to paint, better pack a funeral, because we can fuck on a funeral and then Mike can cater it. Yep, no doubt.
Speaker 2:With the dead bodies yeah.
Speaker 1:Look, sometimes you definitely got to have a dead body. You want me to talk here, mike, or right here? Where do you want me to talk, right? Oh, here we go Now. You can't hear me. That's much better. Now you can't even hear me.
Speaker 2:We can hear you, though we don't need to see All kinds of butter.
Speaker 1:Well, this ass brought If you haven't, you should try that at all kinds. They have several different flavors Taco butter, cookie butter, squirter butter but they have just come out with what I think is my favorite. It's called the truffle butter. When you're beating it up everywhere, truffle butter is what you need. Well, it's what you're going to get. Why don't you get you some truffle butter today? Don't just take my word for it. This ad is brought to you by all kinds of butter. You can pick up their product at all major grocery stores. Your local trap house I bet your gas station even carries it. Have it today. Truffle butter, Truffle butter. If you ain't had no truffle butter in your life, you definitely need to fake it until you get some. You need to look up truffle butter.
Speaker 1:Truffle butter is when you beat it up in different holes, you slap it around and that juice comes right, boom, boom. Everybody likes truffle butter. Would you drink some truffle butter? I wouldn't, hell. No, it comes from the booty hole. It's the booty hole when I was 17,.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you a story. I was 17. That was the best summer of my life. I actually was dating a Catholic girl and she was keeping herself for her marriage, so she wouldn't give up the coochie, but she'd let you have that ass, bro. That was the best summer I ever had in my life. Wow, I didn't realize it until I was 18, when I didn't have no more ass, how much I'd missed out in life. And I tell everybody look, it wasn't the greatest thing. But to have ass all day long, bro, today in life, makes you want to think about having ass all day in your life. If I had ass every day now, I don't think I would ever go to the front. You know what I mean? It'd be like one of those feels where I would peach you with it. You know what I mean? Truffle butter I know what truffle butter really is. That's truffle. That's real shit.
Speaker 2:Oh Lord.
Speaker 1:I mean, have you ever had trouble with?
Speaker 2:a butter mic. Yeah, on purpose or accident?
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I've had it. I mean, I made my wife climb the wall, but it wasn't on purpose. You know what I mean? I grind on gears.
Speaker 2:You go from third to first or reverse that's when you watch porn, your transmission starts slipping.
Speaker 1:That's when you watch porn, you think you can watch yourself.
Speaker 4:You're not that big. No, you know, definitely not. The mirror makes you look huge. That's why I set up the swing in front of the mirror. Yeah, it makes you look fucking huge.
Speaker 1:Oh, I suck in.
Speaker 4:You should see my pose oh my god, it's amazing, it's amazing anyways, so I think it's been a great show.
Speaker 1:I know we didn't touch on a lot. We did touch on some stuff. Um, we love having y'all on. Um, we're definitely gonna bring y'all back, yeah we got to do a part two.
Speaker 2:This is definitely a great show.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you haven't asked us about.
Speaker 1:There's a lot we haven't asked About his wiener and me on drugs.
Speaker 3:This is definitely.
Speaker 4:Okay fuck it, we're not going anywhere. This is definitely Back this up. Wiener you on drugs.
Speaker 1:Me on drugs in your wiener. You didn't tell him that story.
Speaker 3:No, oh yeah, I think I heard a story where you thought it was so big, you started yes, those were good drugs.
Speaker 4:I need some more of those drugs she doesn't, because she told me my shit was massive.
Speaker 3:She told everybody, I told, I told the nurses I even called my dad and said hey, got a penis implant, that's what you know you're big dick in it, right, big dick in it, bro in the.
Speaker 4:Big dick in it, bro, in the hospital.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, Do you have an itinerary or a fucking itemized list of what them drugs were? Maybe?
Speaker 3:I know some people I can hit on. I think it was fentanyl and Dilaudid Dilaudid, dilaudid, dilaudid, dilaudid.
Speaker 4:People are getting deported on fentanyl, oh, bro, but not everybody. Yeah, but when it's IV status, I think it was a fit and all that this one right here is go time in the hospital, bro, I don't know why.
Speaker 3:Like it's go time, I'm out of it. I don't ever remember so you're raping her? Probably? Yeah, because I'm out of it.
Speaker 1:We got a friend that gives his wife sedation because he bleeds or whatever. We're not going to that story. Definitely the modders, we're definitely going to have you back on?
Speaker 4:Yes, we need to follow up on them, no doubt this has been really good.
Speaker 1:I think this probably will be one of our greatest shows. Good, thank you for having us. I do. It's going to get better. Yeah, like I say, I thank everybody for really joining in and being a part of the shit shows and wanting to be a part of the shit shows. We've seen some influx like you wouldn't believe. I want to really reach out to say join in. Your comments will be heard. You want to be a part of the show? Let us know. We have a WhatsApp now that you could. Actually, you don't even have to give your number. You want to send a text? You want to send an email? Reach out and be a part of the show. We'll have you on the air. I think it's a great show what we're doing. We're putting some shit out there. We have some stuff in the works that's really going to be good. Next couple weeks you're going to be blown away with what we got. Um, we appreciate the modest for joining us this. Oh man.
Speaker 4:We appreciate it, which is gracias, what an opportunity. Thank you so much. Finally, the mexican. It's been fun, man. The last part of the show.
Speaker 1:The Mexican comes out yeah.
Speaker 4:What else you got Mexican?
Speaker 1:Hola, that's a pretty good one. That's actually a good one. I like the yes, yes.
Speaker 2:Me llamo Miguel.
Speaker 1:Order a yumbo Jack.
Speaker 2:Traga mia, that way, alright, peace out, let's do this. Holla at your boys. Yeah, we definitely will. We'll have to have you guys on next week so we can wrap it up. Wrap it up. Yeah, do a part two. Get in some good stuff, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4:We'll take it to a whole other level next week. That's correct. Now we know what to expect. I told you We'll have the intro.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll have to give you the intro we can't just come off the walls.
