THESHITSHOWS
Everything is in the name as they say!
We are two friends with some wild and crazy stories that are unique to say the least.
We also cover current events. And give our opinion on pretty much everything
You can find our website THESHITSHOWS.BUZZSPROUT.COM
Download and listen on all platforms, Apple podcast, Amazon music, IHEART radio, TikTok, and YouTube. And of course Facebook
THESHITSHOWS
come join with any question we read on the air and during live shows.
THESHITSHOWS
The Wild and Wacky World of Micro Wrestling
Join us for an unforgettable journey into the hilariously chaotic world of micro wrestling in this episode! We dive headfirst into our wild night in New Orleans, where we not only witnessed spirited competitions of pint-sized athletes but also immersed ourselves in the vibrant celebration of Mardi Gras. Our exploration takes you beyond just wrestling; it's a journey punctuated with laughter, unexpected encounters, and memorable storytelling that captures the full essence of the night.
From the moments of high-flying wrestling stunts to our interactions post-show, you'll hear how the atmosphere electrified the crowd and turned a typical evening into something utterly extraordinary. We also cover our escapades amid the Mardi Gras celebrations, revealing how the whimsical spirit of New Orleans added a layer of excitement to our adventure.
Expect side-splitting tales about outrageous incidents, including peculiar news stories and humorous anecdotes that reflect the wild unpredictability of the night. This is not just another podcast episode; it’s a conversation filled with the warmth of friendship and laughter, as we dish on moments that can only be shared with good company.
Don’t forget to tune in, subscribe, and share your thoughts about your craziest night out—did you ever experience something as outrageous? Join the discussion and relive the laughter with us!
FIND US ON FACEBOOK, IG, TIKTOK, AND FACEBOOK LIVE. WE ARE ON YOUTUBE ASWELL.
MAKE SURE YOU HIT THAT LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE BUTTON TO HELP KEEP THIS TRAIN ROLLING ..
What is up, brother? What's happening, what's happening, man, it's been a long week.
Speaker 2:It's been a couple of weeks, I think.
Speaker 1:It has been a couple of weeks. We did have the old Mata incident. You know we actually rebounded from that. We did pretty well there.
Speaker 2:I think we did amazingly well.
Speaker 1:I learned to hold my peace a little bit. You know, what did you count for? Count for yeah, I didn't get quite to five, but count four works, you know.
Speaker 2:At least if you count two, that'll kind of remind you of why you're doing it. Maybe, oh yeah, maybe.
Speaker 1:There's a possibility that you know I'll fuck it up again. Yeah, that's true, but I mean it actually turned out okay. Yeah, so we're learning, we're learning, we're on video, we're learning, we're on video. We're actually we're playing with our gifts. See your titties. These are great gifts from the modest. Who brings people titties for a gift.
Speaker 2:They do and they did, and I'm appreciative of them.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to lie my other ones. I took them home.
Speaker 2:It's like a mouse pad. It's got a little clicker on it.
Speaker 1:Oh dude, if I could put my mouse in this thing and make it work, I would take it to work, right, oh man what's been up, brother not much, man, not much, not much. I know the last titties they give me. I brought home my wife.
Speaker 2:Maybe put them away even immediately put them away or throw them away no well, she said, take them off.
Speaker 1:I didn't throw them away, I was gonna wear them. When that? When we're being intimate with each other, uh see how well it worked.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that would do, that would go over. Well, I'll tell you what let's do. Tale of two tales. You do that and then you let me borrow them the next night and I'll do it, okay, and we'll see who. No, that's not even fair. No, but I want to see the reactions of the wives when we do that. Like, what's Selena to say? To say, compared to what you're like, yeah, no, my wife she's freaky, but she's not like that.
Speaker 1:Does she suck on them?
Speaker 2:No, she says that's one of the things she can't stand is like a weak man.
Speaker 1:So if you're going to put on some titties like that, you're showing a little weakness.
Speaker 2:That's just a weakness. But if you're doing it as a joke, I don't really see it as weakness.
Speaker 1:Or it could be like very, very, you know you're dominant and you, you know you. What do they say? You're, uh, not masculine, but uh, you know you actually, um, what's the word I'm looking for? You're not self-conscious about yourself. Yeah, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1:If you could actually walk around instead of titties yeah, and I and I could I mean, I do kind of well, I do too, if you're kind of like that motherfucker, I got a good small a cup going on for sure we were already discussing before going on air about what's four inches is. We both our wives, would have different uh reactions of what four inches is if I sent my wife to home depot to get four inches of anything, she's gonna come back with not enough of what I needed. I mean that's. I think that's any man right.
Speaker 2:I hear you.
Speaker 1:So we had a good trip. We got to think we had a good show. You know we're going to talk about some things we've done this past.
Speaker 2:Let's get a couple emails out of the way, and then we can start this shit show.
Speaker 1:I will say. We have hundreds of emails, believe it or not, which I am dumbfounded. I love them. Some of them are stupid. Some of them are more stupid. We have hundreds of emails, believe it or not, which I am dumbfounded. I love them. Some of them are stupid, some of them are more stupid, and we are an idiot, so we do like them. Keep sending them. We can't only read about two at a time per show, but keep sending them. At Craig, theshitshowscom and Mike at TheShitShowscom. My name isows and Mike. Mike At theshitshowscom, shitshows. My name's spelled C-R-E-I-G.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Mike's normal.
Speaker 2:Mine is M-I-K-E. All right, here we go. Shitshows 2021. 2025. Go, uh, this is the coolest part of the show part of the show. Show where we read your emails. But the best part is hearing me flow. So let's get to this shit, bro. Uh, that's what I'm talking about. I love that beat it's got a good beat, it does got a good beat.
Speaker 2:All right, we got a couple emails, one's from adamram92 when will nick be on the show to talk about his wild kidnapping? So we talked to him. We actually got to see Mr Nikolai on Saturday. We had a little event that we were taking part of and he's going through the PTSD so we're going to try to get him on soon, but he's out of his mind right now.
Speaker 1:He's not thinking clearly. He's not ready to go on there and talk about his event.
Speaker 2:And I think after Saturday he's a little bit more stressed out. But we're definitely going to have him on and talk with us every once in a while, but it's just going to be me and the Craikster and we'll have them on. Um, you know, have them come on and talk with us every once in a while, but you know it's just going to be be me in the Craikster and we'll have some guests and we've got some other guests lined up that we're working on and we'll get to all that. But, uh, nick is, nick is safe, he's back on on planet earth. So, uh, we got a second email from Misty Ames. She wants to know what's the next big adventure for the shit shows.
Speaker 1:Man, I don't know yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know either. The only thing I can think of would be I know we were talking about doing like a summer trip yeah, that would be probably the only thing.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I think we're going to have another Meals by Mike crawfish. I'm sure it turns into a shit show.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, no, no, we'll definitely, we'll do it a little bit.
Speaker 1:We do have summer coming up, so Definitely.
Speaker 2:I can't wait for that Right Three more months. We were just talking about the days the other day.
Speaker 1:There's only three more months of crawfish season.
Speaker 2:No, Crawfish season normally ends around Memorial Day. So yeah, you could say three more months.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean speaking of crawfish. Yes, we were just in new orleans, but we'll talk about that later. Okay, you know, I do, we got a good story about some crawfish in new orleans, okay, but this weekend we took part, yes, in micro wrestling federation, yes, events. I had more fun. I could die right now. I had so much fun did you not have so much fun.
Speaker 2:I had an amazing time. I mean, it's not like I knew what to expect. I knew it was going to be some craziness Bro.
Speaker 2:I didn't expect none of that shit. I just find it I shouldn't say weird. I've seen, I've known about these this wrestling for a long time, but I've never been to one, I never thought to go to one and uh, seeing the amount of people there and you know how. You know how wrestlers if you, you watch the wwe, they, the rock has a saying and the rock you know they have their little things. Well, these little guys too, they have the same thing. They have little like little foot. Little foot is a indian. He's the chief. Four foot eight8", about 800 pounds. He'd be the large Littlefoot but he has this whole saying when he comes in the ring and stands on the top rope and the crowd was saying along with him.
Speaker 1:He was doing Tatanka, bro, the whole Tatanka with his horns. Tatanka, you know from. You know what was that movie with the Indians and the guy that was from Yellowstone, kevin Costner yeah, kevin Costner, where he met the oh Dances with Wolves. Yeah, yeah, that's the first time I heard Tatanka.
Speaker 2:I'm going to have to go back and watch that, because I don't even remember that I thought that was an actual thing, tatanka. But man, it was. There was. No, all the seats were sold out. It was standing room only, and it was. It was a cool little venue. Shout out to you, know, Monkey, Smoke Monkey.
Speaker 1:Smoke Monkey.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a cool venue. It was outside, the weather was perfect. It was a great night.
Speaker 1:Yeah, only bad part about it was when we were leaving saw a lot of in the mud, but other than that man, to see them little guys fly off the top rope I'm gonna, I'm gonna start off with this.
Speaker 2:So we get there, you know, we're, we're one of the first ones there, obviously, and uh, they were a little rude. They were a little rude, they were a little ornery. Well, they were you know. Well, I guess I'm sure no pun intended, but they were. I mean, they were, they were being some dickheads, some of them.
Speaker 1:Them were, yeah, especially Little Montana. Yeah, little Montana was a rough one. He was a rough one, he didn't want no pictures or nothing. No pictures after the show. And I didn't think he was a wrestler, I thought he was just, you know, a stagehand.
Speaker 2:No, that's the cool thing is they're the ones who they work, they set up the stage.
Speaker 1:Everything's done by the guy said. There's like two, two normal size guys, normal size. Rest of them are little ones. Yeah, that's crazy to me man, they put on a hell of a show. Dude, yeah, micro, micro, micro, wrestling micro jackson, that's my dog, bro.
Speaker 2:He was had to be what? Three foot, if that, my dog is bigger than him and I have a boston terrier bro for him to put on a show.
Speaker 1:You know, I put it out on out on TikTok and they made me change the music because we didn't own the rights to the music. Now it's an Asian version of Billie Jean.
Speaker 2:He was the coolest one out of all of them.
Speaker 1:He really was, dude. They did a raffle where you could take pictures. You know what I'm mad about? I paid for an interview with the psycho guy. Yeah, this motherfucker wasn't even there. He wasn't even there. So I emailed him today to see if I could get my money back. It was only $50. Yeah, I haven't heard back. Of course, yeah, but we paid $100. We got to go up there. We got pictures with the belt. Yeah, we got pictures with the belt. We'll post those pictures with our producer. It was a fun event, dude.
Speaker 2:I don't know if it was the liquor in me, but I had more fucking fun than I had had in a long time. Dude, it's just one of those things where it's so just out of the ordinary. You would think people don't know how to react and they would just sit there. But man, everybody was just like. I've never been to one of these. I've never seen them other than like a tiktok video. I don't all those people that were there except for micro jackson, I didn't know any of them, right and but it just, it's just something about the energy.
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah, I'm telling you I'm a stalker, yeah, you know. You know, the little show was pretty funny. You know the little show, yeah, man, for them to spin around and I don't understand their light on their feet. But Jesus, there were some big guys. I mean, little Montana was every bit of 250 pounds, but only four foot two. Yeah, and Every bit of 250 pounds, but only four foot two, yeah, and man.
Speaker 2:But they got around, man.
Speaker 1:They had the costumes Off the top rope bro, yeah, several times their little feet just like flow in and out. Yeah, that was amazing.
Speaker 2:I know I loved it so much. Everybody I think everybody had a great time, and Nick would have to be there, but. Nick, he kept having these puns the whole time. It's a little aggressive.
Speaker 1:I'll post some videos at the end of this one and you'll be able to hear some of what's going on and see some of the adventure that we partaked in on Saturday. Then we go to leave and everybody's stuck. Of course, I got four wheel drive. Yeah, I was able to get out. Somebody dinged my truck, but it's okay. We had a good time.
Speaker 2:I had a great time, man, thanks for having us out there.
Speaker 1:What happened? I mean, I come back later that night.
Speaker 2:Garage door shut. Oh, I ended up over at the neighbor's house. Oh, dave and Jim, oh y'all left. I come by and the garage door was shut. You should have called. I ended up over at the neighbor's house. Oh, um, dave and Jim, oh y'all left. Yeah, I come by here in the garage door shut. Oh, you should have called. You didn't call me. No, we got out. I was all full of energy, so we got well see.
Speaker 2:I even went by Dylan and they wasn't home. Yeah, no that. We went by Kel's. He wasn't home. And then so I texted Dale and I was like, hey, where y'all at? He said we're over here. So we went over there. I got all them in trouble. Did you? How'd you get them in trouble? All of them partaked, oh yeah, and they ended up having to go night-night.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it happens.
Speaker 2:It happens.
Speaker 1:It does happen, but yeah, it was a good night.
Speaker 2:I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Stephanie was. She said she was happy she went.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she wasn't going to go.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I'm glad she did. I mean, it turned out to be a. I'll go back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, matter of fact, I'm looking for the next. I want to see a different squad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we may have to go to Tennessee to see the real squad, but I'm down dude, I would see the same squad, I think, again Next time. I think we get ringside seats. Yeah, I think it would have been better.
Speaker 2:I mean, we got buffet with our elevated seating.
Speaker 1:We did get a hookup, sorry, sorry, it's very.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I should be putting it over there out of hands reach. Now.
Speaker 1:I'm going to stare at it all.
Speaker 2:Stare at it that looks like an awkward titty it looks like a really big woman's titties.
Speaker 1:Right, somebody's got some wide cleavage. That's a hell of a cleavage. What do they call booby meat? You know, not the cleavage, but the the meat around it. What do you actually call that?
Speaker 2:I don't know. There's a nickname for it. Oh, there's got to be a medical term for it. So it would be. You're talking about this part. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Bag of bags the actual bags and stuff.
Speaker 2:Saddle bags.
Speaker 1:So everything in the human anatomy has a name. You don't know. No, maybe our producer will look it up for us.
Speaker 2:She may not want that on her Google search. I think she's a woman, so I think she would know what the fucking term is that's got to have a term.
Speaker 1:What's the?
Speaker 2:term producer.
Speaker 1:No, no, it's got to say something else. I don't think breast is a medical term, absolutely it is you sure? Yes, will you look it up for us? It's called breast cancer. I still what's? Because you have an areola, you have the nipple, the areola, yeah, then you have something. That's your breast.
Speaker 2:Well, I like the breast meat. You could take the nipple off and the areola, and it's still going to be a breast.
Speaker 1:Is it really? Yeah, you sure, yeah, are you sure.
Speaker 2:I'm not sure.
Speaker 1:I know it's titty meat.
Speaker 2:I like titty meat. Titty meat, well me Well, just call it titty me. Why the fuck can't we call it titty me?
Speaker 1:Because then I feel awkward if someone gets offended because I call it titty me.
Speaker 2:Our president said grab him by the pussy. Who's going to be offended if he says it? But what I'm saying is oh notice, I said, our president.
Speaker 1:I was going to give you props, I was just going to let you have it right away.
Speaker 2:But if he can say that, why can't we say titty me.
Speaker 1:I agree. I mean, there should be one day.
Speaker 2:You know what's ruined this world. First off, I know what you're about to say, but go ahead. I said you should have one day where you can't get in trouble. That's your birthday. That's your birthday, because that's you Every birthday. I can't get in trouble.
Speaker 1:I get in trouble at work if I walk in there. That's true, and this young lady's got her breast beat out.
Speaker 2:So you have like a birthday card and you'd be like your boss calls you and says hey, man what the fuck's going on with the project? Say hey.
Speaker 1:We could be yeah, it's my birthday. Instead of HR always getting on to us, there's got One day a year we could actually just say what we fucking feel and not get in trouble. Like you know, I really think about having sex you in the broom closet or something like that with your secretary. Yeah, and I have to worry about you know.
Speaker 2:So now you're turning into cheating.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying you know comments like that at work or you know, like man, you're really black. One day a week we can get in trouble and you just say what you feel. It's got to be one of those days. No, I know if I'm going first off.
Speaker 2:We can say pretty much shit like that any many days.
Speaker 1:No, okay, not at work, yeah, exactly I don't want, I don't need need to go to HR. Did you find the information on the titty meat?
Speaker 2:It's called breast Breast.
Speaker 1:The chest of a woman, breast. It's also called bust Chest. Those are slang words. What's the medical term for it? Okay, it is breast. It is.
Speaker 2:Titty meat. I like titty meat. Don't make her get a microphone and cuss you out. I mean right breast.
Speaker 1:it is titty me, I like to make her get a microphone and cuss you out. I mean, right, a woman shouldn't be able to just show their titty me like that and you're not be looking at it and you get in trouble for just looking, or you? You can't even say you look nice today in some you know work environments so when you say titty beat to me, that's just a slang word.
Speaker 2:So like for me, you know what my slang word is for butts. I didn't invent this, but it's called fart box. I was saying, man, look at that girl's fart box, that's her ass. That's code word for us. You say that. So if you'd be like man, that girl got some nice titty meat yeah, but you can't do that in the workforce these days well, I can't tell her.
Speaker 2:I can't tell the woman to her face that she's got it knife in her front box. That's just what I say in passing. That's still harassment. If somebody hears it I don't need to be hanging around people that's going to snitch on me.
Speaker 1:No, I agree, that's what I'm saying. There should be an harassment-free Monday.
Speaker 2:One day out of the year. Hey, I'm harassing myself.
Speaker 1:I hear you, I've just put it out there. I really think that, Because look, there's girls and women dress nice for a reason.
Speaker 2:Yes, they don't give a fuck, no, okay, so this is where people are going to call me a pussy. Women dress nice so that it makes them feel good.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:But you have to know or they have to know.
Speaker 1:Look when you see a woman with big breasts hanging out and everything's out besides the fucking nipple.
Speaker 2:When you're wearing a skirt and it's so short that you have to keep pulling it down every two seconds, you know the man's going to be looking. So why do you want to get mad at us? Why are you staring at me? What's the matter with you? So in the workforce.
Speaker 1:if you see that and say, man, that shirt, that skirt, really short, and it looks nice on you, you and it looks nice on you, you could be fired for that.
Speaker 2:Definitely written up. So you know how to combat that. How Is make sure that she's standing next to a guy, that this so-called hypothetical woman from work and say hey, becky, them jeans look nice on you. And then be like hey, charles, you too, brother, are those Wranglers?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Then she can't say so because you paid that guy a compliment too. What if they both fell on you? That's true, I didn't think about that part.
Speaker 1:Harassment-free Monday. It's like one day of the year.
Speaker 2:I didn't think about that. I got gay harassed at work today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Not that I'm doing it at work. By I mean yeah, I mean not that I'm doing it at work. You know, by no means it's hypothetical. It's definitely hypothetical, Definitely not hitting on the guys at work.
Speaker 2:Well, man, you know what time of year it is.
Speaker 1:What time of year is Crawfish? Mardi Gras, it is Mardi.
Speaker 2:Gras. It is Mardi Gras, so.
Speaker 1:Obviously Tuesday Is it the 4th no.
Speaker 2:May the 4th be with you. I think it's next Tuesday.
Speaker 1:No, I think it's Tuesday, I think it's tomorrow.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't produce this fine now.
Speaker 1:Anyways. So we were just there for the kickoff of Mardi Gras. You know the Clio.
Speaker 2:Oh, it is tomorrow.
Speaker 1:There you go. So the Clio parade is one of the major ones that started the whole parade season off, and my sister-in-law and cousin, step-cousin or whatever you want to call her cousin-in-law were a part of it. Man, it was a great time. We drove there, yeah, sick as shit Wasn't sure where we were going to go. Finally, I said, let's go Five o'clock afternoon. Man, we got there about one o'clock. It wasn't a bad drive. I mean, I don't see why we don't go to Mardi Gras or New Orleans more often. I know we should as much as we like it, but we get there and it's not as crowded as we thought. When we first get there.
Speaker 1:Next morning we get up. It was one o'clock in the morning though, yeah, but still it was. Still. Bourbon Street was still popping, yeah, yeah, how close were you out of bourbon? We were on canal, so you know, um, so, or poirier is where we was close by, um, but no, we get there. So the next morning we get up for breakfast, and it is a shit show just trying to get breakfast. So either everybody was partying, you know, but when we got there, obviously, or they were all asleep. So we get there, and it's a long day, bro Natalie, which was in the parade it was a 14-hour day for her. She got dressed, got ready, so we started hitting a few bars. Well, of course, we got some really good food. We got some crawfish and I figured the crawfish would be bigger there. They were not. They were not as big as I figured.
Speaker 2:The crawfish would be bigger there they were not.
Speaker 1:They were not as big as I thought they were going to be.
Speaker 2:It's still technically, it's still early. With the freeze that they've had, It'll be the end of this month before you start seeing the really, really big ones. It was still good price, though I'm just talking about the size.
Speaker 1:I think we got them for two and a half pounds, with all the fixings for $11, which is pretty good there, I guess, because, like Saturday night, the ones at Smooth Monkey, they were small, they were small.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but man, I can't wait, dude, they're actually really good, but Mardi Gras, I think it was the funnest event. I felt like little peasants trying to get beads, because even after the thing was over, we're walking around the street and all the beads are on the ground. Me and Pat are picking them up oh, look at these and we're not even doing anything with them. I think Pat left his in the room when he left for the night, you know, for the whole weekend, for the maid to clean up. You know that's typical.
Speaker 2:Pat Part of the course.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's known for leaving shit.
Speaker 2:What's another room rule.
Speaker 1:You don't room with them. You don't room with them or you don't get a room with your name on it with a credit card and they're staying with you. Absolutely not. They're going to jack your room up. They will take over your room and just leave you the next day Like, okay, I'm out of here, but no dude, it was out of here, but no dude, it was fun dude. We, I would say we got hammered.
Speaker 2:So I thought it was funny because you know I wasn't there, I was somewhere else. But uh, you were sending me pictures of you know stuff going on and your wife was like well, I was glad to know that I'm here with you too. You've been taking no pictures with your wife.
Speaker 1:I did forget to take a picture with her. I forgot. Help me, please. I went with the group.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm here too. Well, in your defense, I didn't see any pictures of the other two people you were with either. Yeah, of course it's not like you were just.
Speaker 1:Maybe I was just being vain. Yeah, only cared about myself.
Speaker 2:Is that selfish? Did I get in trouble on the trip?
Speaker 1:Well, there was a few incidents, a few, yeah. Nothing to write home about, okay, he knows.
Speaker 2:Who won the costume this year? Oh, I did he looked like Willie Walker. I would love to hear his version of this, but we'll hear yours, I'll tell you right now.
Speaker 1:I come down and Willie Walker from the chocolate factory was down at the bottom in the lobby and I'm like what the fuck? And I still just wore my plain jacket. I still got more compliments on my jacket. Oh, that's a nice jacket. Oh, that's my jacket. Oh, that's a nice jacket. Oh, that's a really nice jacket. Oh, that's a nice jacket To his one. Oh, that's a nice outfit.
Speaker 2:So there was some drama between me and Mr Craig here a couple weeks back before they went to New Orleans, because every year they do Mardi Gras and they always dress up. They always have a costume or whatever. Well, me just thinking it's a freaking Mardi Gras costume. This is not like some award winning thing. Craig tells me that he's dressing up, but his buddy's not.
Speaker 1:I said I'm not telling him, I'm dressing up.
Speaker 2:See, I didn't hear those words. I'm just saying I thought you said he wasn't dressing up. So I just did a friendly text to my boy and I said, hey, are you really not dressing up for Mardi Gras? He's like no, why he's Craig? I was like you know, craig's not going to just lay down. This is not happening. He's not going to just lay down, this is not happening. I'm trying to make it fair.
Speaker 1:No, you don't mean, I'm not. I don't ever play fair when it comes to competition. All I know is he said Dude, this is all I could get In Tennessee last minute, amazon. It didn't even look like a unitard dude, it looked like a vest With a coat and a jacket. No, it was all one outfit, dude. He was like taking it all off the piece. I pissed too much.
Speaker 2:It looked like a vest with a coat and a jacket. No, it was all one outfit, dude. He was like take it all off to pee. Oh shit, fuck that.
Speaker 1:I pissed too much. There ain't no way I could do that. Oh, he pissed, all right, no way he pissed all right.
Speaker 1:He got away with it. Fine, he started drinking with me. That was a wrap from there. Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much. I had a great time. We even took a nap in between Really good time, actually. It turned out to be a long night. And then even afterwards they had an after party. And we walk into this big banquet hall and, dude, there's thousands of people in there, just all from this one parade, and it was called the Clio Right, let's take this back. I didn't know what to do with my hands. I felt like I feel like will ferrell and you know talladega nights. I don't know what to do with my arms.
Speaker 2:I just put it on the titty, just just put it, but I don't know what my hands but yeah, mardi gras was amazing trip, so I keep hearing about all these dildos. Man, you know it is. So here's the problem is my dumb ass don't have a printer.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And I'm trying to find.
Speaker 1:So obviously there's several dildo beatings that's been happening and it's like they're all in Florida, and when I mean dildo beatings, wives are beating their husbands with dildos. So if you're out there getting beat up with dildos and you need a 1-800 number to call, you can call us. We will help you out, because we want to hear about it first. We should have a commercial for that.
Speaker 1:Dildos, dildos, dildos. The Texas hammer Don't get hammered by the dildo. So mike's looking for these stories. We have four of them, I believe. How you have four different incidents from people getting beat up with dildo. You think one lady read about it and you know what? I'm gonna beat the fuck out of my husband with a dildo tonight. And then another one read about it was was like that's a great idea. Who's he going to tell if I beat him up with a dildo? I mean, I wouldn't my wife beat me up with a dildo, no way.
Speaker 2:No, I can tell you, man, that's a crazy thing.
Speaker 1:That's a crazy thing. Let's find this thing. So I mean, you gotta, let's read these stories all right.
Speaker 2:So we got uh, this was one year ago, um, in florida pine, pine less pine less florida, pine less florida, something like that. A flor Florida man is accused of choking his girlfriend with a sex toy after she mocked him for erectile dysfunction.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's fucked up.
Speaker 2:And said he needed Viagra. According to the sheriff, steve, 38, and his girlfriend were arguing about shortcomings in their relationship around 1.20 am on New Year's Eve. 1 20 am on new year's eve, when he became upset, grabbed a pink dildo from the bedroom closet and shoved it into the 37 year old victim's mouth while holding the back of her head. The woman also told police that nerden punched her in the left eye when she tried to push him away. Nerden told the police he don't recall forcing a sex toy at a woman's mouth, but did claim she punched him in the right eye during the fight. Nerden was charged with domestic battery and was booked in the county jail. Wow, I mean, it wasn't a woman, but it's still. Well. No, but that one wasn't a woman.
Speaker 1:It's still an assault with a deadly weapon, right? Well, I mean.
Speaker 2:Did they give a size? He got charged with domestic battery.
Speaker 1:Did they give a size of the dildo? Did he got?
Speaker 2:charged with domestic battery. They give us sides of the deal. No, did not list. This is the charge. Did not list that part of it. This one. There's another one that's coming out of Illinois. That, um, a woman who made the news for attacking a police officer were the clear, rigid feminine pleasure devices, claiming that she acted in self-defense. Carol Bill Bill Bielstein was found by a police officer lying in the grass down the street from a joe's crab shack. Imagine that. Imagine that she told the officer that she had eaten at the restaurant but forgotten her wallet at home and was heading back to get money to pay her tab. The policeman drove her to her house in his car. She went inside to grab the money and she told the police officer money was in the sock drawer, but opened the drawer and pulled out a sex toy instead. She held it over his head, approached or over her head and approached the officer in a threatening manner. Uh, she was charged with aggravated assault against the police officer that is insane allegedly.
Speaker 2:This is all allegedly, by the way so this, this, this young lady came out with a statement. She said I was counting my cash to make sure I take out enough, and the officer walks into my bedrooms and startles me. Uh, adding that, she said she had recently read an article about a gurney police officer who was convicted of sexual assault which made her nervous. I don't know, it was just a male police officer and me in the apartment and he startled me. She said.
Speaker 2:She said she never attacked him, she just was instinctively raised it up in defense mode.
Speaker 1:I wonder if she said anybody else with that thing, so you got another one.
Speaker 2:This one was last year, september of last year. Florida woman once again, uh, has been arrested for her second related sex toy incident in two years. Um, one time, one time is an time is an accident. Two times is probably not a coincidence. Sounds like she has a thing. The incident happened in a residence in Fort Pierce, florida. The woman in question was arrested for a similar attack back in 2022. I gotta know the size of these dildos. I don't think the news is going to report. They reported it was a dildos. I don't think the news is going to report.
Speaker 1:They reported it was a dildo attack 22 inch. Bbc. Look, look when somebody gets shot, they say he was shot with a 9mm. You'd think they would say he was beat up with a 14 inch cock.
Speaker 2:Well, let's see, let's read the story. Maybe it says something. So it says 35-year-old Chelsea White and her boyfriend were in the kitchen preparing to eat when he discovered that his missing glass dildo was inside White's backpack, which started a late-night fight between the two. Reports say they exchanged blows after being separated. He says she started hitting him again and he went to grab the backpack. That's when she threw the glass dildo at him. Oh, the glass deal. It was a glass deal. That's when they put in the freezer and hitting, uh, missing a target, hitting a door, waking up the child. Then she grabbed the bag and left the property but was found hours later arrested for domestic battery. I just, I'm just amazed that you can get domestic battery for a dildo, bro that just goes to show.
Speaker 1:That's that whole no harm on monday thing I was talking about. No, didn't you have a picture of one? I need to post that picture to the to the page. I'm pretty sure I got pictures there was a big knot head on this.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, yeah, he got it in the head.
Speaker 1:He did get hit, yeah, pretty graphically. The knot looked like this it was bad. I'll do mine too.
Speaker 2:It's a screenshot.
Speaker 1:I'm going to wear this for Halloween. Total recall that movie.
Speaker 2:The woman had three titties, but that woman's titties were the same size at least, yours is going to be kind of, and your nipples are way bigger no, why are you looking at my nipples? It's hard not to look at these. They're like shards of glass that is awkward.
Speaker 1:We're like friends, like best friends. I don't know if I could take my shirt off for any no more. Well, anyways, so that's all we got this week. Yeah, man, good to do a little catch-up session. Yep, yep, for sure, and hopefully I'm actually going to try to have the women on the next one. They just don't know it yet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll work on it, absolutely. We'll get them some wine, some crack, some black tar heroin, a couple spoons Wow, all right.
