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Hey, it's the moment, the moment everybody's been waiting for.
Speaker 2:What moment's that?
Speaker 1:They've been waiting months, months and months and months for this it is the return of the Nickster.
Speaker 2:The ass raped. We'll find out today.
Speaker 1:We're going to find out the story of what happened to Mr Nick.
Speaker 2:Mr Nick what's?
Speaker 1:happening.
Speaker 3:Hello gentlemen.
Speaker 2:Hello, happy to be back. You come back with such a high-pitched voice. What do you mean? If I was raped in the ass, I would come back with a high-pitched voice. This is better.
Speaker 3:There you go. What's up, brother? Sounding like Bubba.
Speaker 1:Just living the dream.
Speaker 3:Working my ass off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man. Dude how you been, Mike.
Speaker 1:Man, I've been good, I've been good. How are you, mr?
Speaker 2:Craig Dude. I have had one hell of a week. Okay, we got so much to talk about, let's talk about fucking our kids being morons, okay.
Speaker 1:We're getting it already.
Speaker 2:No kind of intro nothing, just bam. I know our offsprings are, you know, a. What would it say?
Speaker 3:A gift.
Speaker 2:A gift, yes, but I was going to say they're a reflection of yourself, right, can I?
Speaker 1:return them.
Speaker 2:So my son you know he's in powerlifting but powerlifting is obviously over with in high school for the year, and so he's been going to this guy that's a bodybuilder and charges him money to come, I guess, teach him how to lift. And I told him hey, if you need somebody to yell at you, I'll yell at you until you lift. I record my videos. Where you feel like you need some motivation, you push, play and it tells you you've fucking lifted up dumbass.
Speaker 3:You just put him on FaceTime why he's in the gym. That's not gay at all.
Speaker 2:That's not gay at all. But the whole point of it is, this guy costs $60 a session, right? And I told him look, if you're going to go, you just let me know. That way I can pay him, as we need Not let it build up five, six, fucking hundred dollars, oh no, and fucking hundred dollars, oh no. And then I get a text from the guy hey, just let you know, you know, this is our sixth session, or whatever. I'm like you know. And I call him immediately. I said, dude, I told you to let me know, because he's not, he's a dumbass when he comes right, so that way you can get paid. And I said now, me saying that from now on I'm not paying you unless I'm notified that Seth's either been there that day or he's on his way, because he's not responsible enough to tell me.
Speaker 2:And then I got to think about it. My wife told me look, you're going to fucking pay for it out of your own pocket If he's going to. You know, if you're going to go, you're definitely going to pay for it, you know yourself. Well, sure enough, motherfucker went. That ain't my phone. Anyways, his dumb ass gone. And of course I had to pay the guy and powerlifting is not even in season. So is he going to go every three days a week until January of next year? Oh no, you know, that's fucking retarded. I mean, I could buy you, your buddy at school and Chad the body builder a fucking membership at 24 Hour Fitness for cheaper than what it costs for Chad to go to see Chad.
Speaker 2:That was a long story just to tell us your son's autistic.
Speaker 1:He's a fucking moron. That was a long story.
Speaker 3:I'm so glad we're back on that.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you what this fucking month.
Speaker 1:That's a nice shirt. You got there, buddy.
Speaker 2:You know it says I'm proud to be a cracker.
Speaker 1:I don't know if anybody can see this. I am proud to be a cracker and I'll tell you what it looks like. It's got some seasoning. You're a seasoned cracker.
Speaker 3:What does that mean? I? Do notice that crackers are very happy.
Speaker 2:In general, I feel like crackers are pretty happy. Now I feel like I got a gay shirt on.
Speaker 1:No, those are eyelashes.
Speaker 3:Other salted snacks are not as happy as crackers.
Speaker 2:I've got some other stories. You know this week's been really shitty, but Nick is here. This show is today about Nick.
Speaker 1:It's about Nick. Nick is here.
Speaker 2:This show is today about Nick. It's about Nick and his adventures In outer space Wherever the fuck you've been.
Speaker 1:That's what we think. We don't know. We're waiting for you to break the news.
Speaker 2:Your wife said that you've been waiting and building up on how you're going to explain being raped. We just figured you got ass raped for a million dollars.
Speaker 3:Why does it have to?
Speaker 2:be raped. Well, because remember, when you wouldn't agree to it, you had so many questions about being raped for a million dollars. No, we just assumed you were going to come back rich, and you didn't come back rich, so you either liked it or it didn't happen, or I could hide it.
Speaker 3:Well, he spit it Exactly. He, he spit, it, he spit it on hookers and cocaine when he got back, so he could feel more like a man again. So where you been? Yeah, it was a kidnap of aliens, it's true. It's true. I was rolling out of home depot returning a lawnmower and I got snatched up by two dudes two dudes were they?
Speaker 2:were they? What was their name? Juan and Jose Hector.
Speaker 3:Hector and Gomez. I got kidnapped by illegal aliens.
Speaker 2:Illegal aliens. What?
Speaker 1:did they do to you?
Speaker 3:Did they make you mow, did they?
Speaker 1:make you mow.
Speaker 3:No, we went down to the border.
Speaker 1:You know, I got a white guy who does my yard.
Speaker 3:Does he yes?
Speaker 1:That's reverse racism right?
Speaker 2:Well, hey, Trump's trying to bring it back. For us white people Crackers yeah, for us crackers that's going to be the most demand job out there is landscaping for the white people that and picking vegetables.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we're not picking vegetables. No, I'm not doing that. That's where that power lifting needs to come in.
Speaker 1:Picking up all them cabbage. Don't get me started on that Yanking that lettuce.
Speaker 3:I'll put up a couple of Mexicans against Seth about picking up vegetables for about 12 hours a day, I mean the way.
Speaker 1:I look at it, you've got at least 25 sessions. I've paid Seth to pick my weeds before and I have one video.
Speaker 2:He's laying on his stomach on the grass laying and just picking as the fucking sun, as the sun moved, he fucking shipped with it, with the shade like a fucking sundial and I've spent fucking thousands of dollars for him to go have this guy fucking sundial out there laying out yes, that was him picking up all the sun. But I paid thousands of dollars for this fucking guy to say, hey, lift, yeah. Lift Pick up some heavy shit and squat his balls over.
Speaker 3:I think he likes to look at the balls. So if I need to move a couch, he's the guy I'm calling.
Speaker 2:right, he's the guy, but he better not be Sonny.
Speaker 1:It's probably some pothead just smoking while he's doing it.
Speaker 2:Oh, I know Either Seth, or he's an idiot. The guy may be calling and saying, hey, why don't you come work out? I would, if I could make a quick $600, I would trick every kid at that school to come work out every day.
Speaker 1:Okay, he's getting stuck. Go back on that. That was so fast that dude will make you by surprise. You're the fisherman. You threw that shit out there and he I was letting run will take you by surprise.
Speaker 2:You're the fisherman you threw that shit out there, and he so did you get tour like what did hector and gomez do to you?
Speaker 1:like, did you get tortured?
Speaker 3:no, they took me down across the border. We went just over the border.
Speaker 1:It was easy to get in and out back then oh okay, you know, like a few weeks ago they closed the shit off pretty, because back then they yeah well, they want to know about cooking.
Speaker 3:I'm'm like what Well, we got Tex-Mex, we got Southern, we know something different. So I taught them how to do a little like an Indian spin on tacos, where I just don't wash my hands before I make them.
Speaker 2:Oh God, I mean, they were really excited about that. That is a dirty Indian. It was dirty Indian, hey, not feathers. We wash our hands.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't know about that. Fuck off.
Speaker 3:I had a long-ass story that I was going to come to the table with about actually the aliens.
Speaker 1:Well, you should drop that.
Speaker 3:I was going to bring Mike into this thing because he knew what I think you really want to get anointed by an alien.
Speaker 2:For a million dollars. We both said we would. I would, With no questions.
Speaker 3:I think you look forward to it. I'm pretty sure there's a discount whenever you guys are looking at it.
Speaker 1:There's only one catch Before anything's inserted, the money needs to be in my account.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, without a doubt, it's got to be non-refundable. You can't just show me a bunch of money and it be fake money Like COI cash on insertion. Whatever, I'm all about it, I'll do if I could have a deal. You know what I mean For a million dollars, bro. Right, we already moved down this road. I wouldn't even ask questions.
Speaker 3:So I was looking about the idea of aliens, but then I started thinking about coming with this, katy Perry and coming across the siding of these spaceship shaped like a dick with six women.
Speaker 2:That's where it starts. That's funny. We already knew the blue horizon was already shaped like a dick, right?
Speaker 3:Okay, let me preface this before we go down this road Are?
Speaker 2:we going down this? Yes, okay, let's go down it.
Speaker 3:So recently, in the last week or so, there has been a spaceship that has went to supposedly outer space 11 minutes in space, 11 minutes. I don't know if it's 11 minutes in space or 11 minutes the whole trip.
Speaker 2:Maybe it was an 11-minute flight.
Speaker 3:They were in space seven minutes, whatever.
Speaker 2:Right, it's like seven minutes in heaven with a bunch of left-wings.
Speaker 3:So I'm going to tell you this before I tell you that Everybody remembers when this Red Bull guy, about a few years ago, a little more, he got in a space suit.
Speaker 2:It was a weather balloon.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he's in a weather balloon and he's going to fly up to space to a certain atmosphere level and he's going to jump out and he's going to go to Earth and land on Earth with a parachute. Right, he's got to go through the falling, the dropping of— the atmosphere. Yes, Everybody saw this.
Speaker 2:I feel like everybody saw this, Everybody's seen it. I mean from the minute— Steph, are you in?
Speaker 3:there, I can't even see you From the minute.
Speaker 2:Did she see this? I think I remember hearing about it From the minute the weather balloon was filling with air.
Speaker 3:Well, let me back up here. We saw this ahead of time. They were talking about this before it happened Weeks, weeks. If you're into this sporting kind of channels and shows. They had talked about this. This guy's in training for this. Here's what they're going to do. Here's the drawings of it.
Speaker 2:The leading up to it.
Speaker 3:This is what the scientists and the experts and the physicists have come up with to do this. Nasa's involved with this thing. Red Bull is just excited to bring this thing to the table because it's the first time somebody has jumped from space and parachuted to Earth, basically.
Speaker 2:It was a major event.
Speaker 3:When this guy went up in a weather balloon, there was cameras on the ground. Before the day of him was cameras on the ground before the day of him the training going through the space suit. How is he going to do this? Okay, here's the helmet, here's a space suit. They were talking about this. They went up with cameras on this guy, on this contraption that he has to step out on before he jumps out. All of this it's being filmed from 30. It's red bull. I get that. There's 30 different ways they're going to camera this thing up but you don't think.
Speaker 2:You don't think jeff bezos is more than fucking red bull.
Speaker 3:Think about this I know he is, he could buy red bull tomorrow, so go ahead continue your story.
Speaker 3:So the guy jumps out. We see it from the angle of him jumping. It's live going on. This is live going from the ground, it's live on tv, it's happening, they're recording it. And when this guy hits the ground and lands, there's 14 cameras that are hitting us from all angles, everybody's cell phone, everybody's whatever hundreds and hundreds of pieces of footage. And now we have okay, this is where we get into this part. Six women went into space.
Speaker 1:It was Katy Perry and Gayle, gayle King and some others. Stephanie, what was a couple or some names?
Speaker 2:I kissed a girl and I loved her.
Speaker 1:Lauren Sanchez, Aisha Bowie.
Speaker 2:And one of those is Basil's fiance.
Speaker 1:Yep, amanda Nguyen and.
Speaker 2:Carrie Ann Flynn. So leading up to this, prior to them entering this dick spaceship.
Speaker 3:It was just shaped like a dick.
Speaker 2:And they're going over some small. You know you don't want to put your foot here. This is a spaceship kind of deal. That's the only leading up to this thing that happened.
Speaker 3:I never saw any of it. What I've seen is, since it happened, there's footage, there's camera footage?
Speaker 2:No, no, it shows them going into a spaceship and sitting down On the catwalk.
Speaker 3:With the skinny ass low cut cleavage out.
Speaker 2:With flared out outfits.
Speaker 3:These aren't space suits, these are just walk the red carpet.
Speaker 2:They had a full makeup. Their hair and makeup was to a T To a dime. You're going to fly in space and you've got. Your hair and makeup was to a T to a dime yes, to get on this fucking spaceship.
Speaker 3:You're going to fly in space and you've got your hair and makeup ready. No, helmets.
Speaker 2:So they go up, they show them, take it up and you see them in something that looks like a spaceship. Not only that, the windows of this spaceship was this wide, you know, and big, huge windows. First of all, we all know the pressure in space.
Speaker 3:These windows are like three foot tall, three and a half foot tall yes, that's where you can see it. Two and a half kind of angled.
Speaker 2:These women go up and it shows them floating. You know zero gravity, zero Gs. Katy Perry shows a daisy flower as they're floating. Anybody that knows anything about space? I don't know shit about space. I know more about my hand than I do space.
Speaker 3:Don't say plants don't grow in space. I know.
Speaker 2:I know the pressure in space would have collapsed that flower. It would have crushed it. Even they were only up seven minutes, the pressure that they were in would have crushed that flower. Yeah, when they land there's a poof of smoke.
Speaker 1:Poof.
Speaker 2:It's all televised.
Speaker 3:Before it lands, they go into space. Supposedly, I guess they're strapped down in safety equipment, except for no gloves, no helmet, no eye protection.
Speaker 2:They're on like a massage table.
Speaker 3:Unbuckle their stuff and we're supposed to believe they were floating in space around in the spacecraft with no training.
Speaker 1:Whenever?
Speaker 3:it's time to get back. They're going to get themselves back and buckle everybody safely in with no training. These are celebrities that have no training with a ship.
Speaker 2:Nobody assists them. They're celebrities. They get in this fucking spaceship, they get themselves back into their own chairs and at this point you don't really see them. You just hear them talking about you know, giggling and laughing and as they're coming down, you know supposedly. And then you hear a countdown Footage goes up. They said there's going to be a poof. You know a smoke or dust. Right there at the end this capsule lands Big poof of smoke. This is all televised. The minute it lands, the fucking door of this spaceship plops open like it's a curtain Right, right, yes. Plops open like it's a curtain right, right, yes. And then def bozo trips on the way trying to pick up you know debris, that's these branches. He fucking trips and falls and I believe that was real he goes up to let him out.
Speaker 2:He acts like he has to have this special tool to depressurize this cabin, and everybody's already seen it on live tv pop open and then all of a sudden, the lady walks up to the thing, goes basically hey, shut the door, you're giving away the fucking effect. So the door shuts and then jeff bazo lets him out so are we saying this didn't really happen?
Speaker 3:yes, that's that's what these guys are saying so here's the thing.
Speaker 1:That's the only reason I know about this flight that y'all talk about. I really have seen. I mean, I've heard about it, but I haven't noticed anything about it is, people were making fun of jeff bezos or whatever his name is, but then, like two days later, uh, jd vance drops the grabs though he didn't but and then everybody's defending him. They're all talking shit about Jeff Bezos, but then JD Vance does that. Well, somebody should have told him it was two pieces. If you're a real college fan, you know about that trophy.
Speaker 3:So Anybody tripping's funny I don't care, no, no, it is funny.
Speaker 2:It is funny, but that's the only reason I know about it. The dick spaceship they go up in. He keeps drawing over here by the way it's got a head on it. It's got like bolts in certain places and above the real fucking spaceship.
Speaker 1:What movie is that? Where a guy has a book full of dicks?
Speaker 2:I don't know A book full of dicks. Yes, I know Spaceballs. He had a fucking aircraft that looked like a dick.
Speaker 1:No, there's a book where in the storyline there's this boy who draws dicks. Oh no, y'all go ahead. Finish.
Speaker 2:Anyway, so above the real, Blue. Horizon spaceship. It has something the Shepard Like a name of something above the real one. Right, when this fucking fake spaceship lands, there's no words above the door, zero words. These bolts that are on both sides above the door, zero words. These bolts that are on both sides of the door are no longer there. Different ship, completely obviously.
Speaker 3:I'm with you.
Speaker 2:It's all fucked. And then Katy Perry and them all come out like she kisses the ground, Like she's fucking. You know there's people suffering in this world. I didn't watch any of this live.
Speaker 3:so everything I'm seeing is just all of them. Oh no, she comes down and kisses the ground like she was fucking trapped up there.
Speaker 2:And for eight months, like the lady that we just brought down. That.
Speaker 1:Elon.
Speaker 2:Musk brought down. It was a ploy to take. I think it was a photo op. Not only that, but have you noticed Katy Perry's new fucking concert she's about is about astronauts Shocker, shocker. So I think, katy Perry I think it was they come down and say this is the first time women's been in space for you know six decades. No, you just brought one down that was trapped up there for nine months. You were up in space seven minutes.
Speaker 3:I think it was all camera hoax.
Speaker 2:It was a ploy.
Speaker 3:I think they probably launched a rocket that they filmed at some point.
Speaker 2:They probably dropped some shit somewhere in the desert and they filmed it at some point, or they're so upset that Elon Musk actually brought down two real astronauts with his spacecraft.
Speaker 3:But I'd be curious to see somebody like Elon Musk speak on this, or if he's heard of this. Here's what I think.
Speaker 1:I feel like this is turning into the Glenn Beck show. I think people with some kind of sense, by the way.
Speaker 2:Somebody with real sense is not even going to discuss that because they know it's fucking bullshit. I mean, I really think, elon Musk, they know it's bullshit.
Speaker 3:They're probably just letting him have their candy.
Speaker 2:I think if them not saying nothing, it brings more attention.
Speaker 1:Here's my thing. You guys want to get on the conspiracy theory. Shit. This is my conspiracy theory. Why is it all of a sudden now? Donald Trump was four years ago, he was president for four years. Nothing he's doing right now. He did in his first term. Now I'm not listen, just listen to the story for the conspiracy theory. Why all of a sudden now, in his final term? He's done after this, no matter what everybody's trying to say, but why is he now doing all this? Is it to cover a lot of shit up.
Speaker 3:Why is Donald Trump doing what?
Speaker 2:The things he should have done in his first term. Yes, I think he didn't have the right cabinet people in the first term. He doesn't have the right cabinet people now.
Speaker 1:I'll put it to you like this he had better people his first term. He doesn't have the right cabinet people now, but he's got a better. I'll put it to you like this he had better people his first term than he does right now. Because I'll tell you what everybody that he's elected I'm sorry, but they just they look like puppets.
Speaker 2:I will say you're right a little bit on this. But leading up to this whole, how come the Epstein files ain't come out yet? How come there's all this they still ain't released, talking about on this whole doge, right, I think the reason they haven't? They haven't brought nobody to jail, which they have brought some people and, and you know, but I think a lot of it was fucking legal, illegal shit. You know, when you fucking give money to an ngo, you, who, you know you can't really track what they do with that money.
Speaker 3:So that's where the fraud, because it's a non-government organization.
Speaker 2:That's where the fraud is coming. They knew it was fraud. They shut it down. That's the money they saved.
Speaker 1:I feel like yeah, but it's all good they're doing that, they're saving money, but to me that's a deterrent. Could be A conspiracy theory. Could be a deterrent to where everybody's focused on all this money. Right here, let's clean all this up, everything that people have done wrong. My friends, make sure we put it in law that nothing can happen to me. You know, I'm just talking about in general.
Speaker 2:That's a conspiracy theory Like look, I don't know if you've seen it, Look, I don't know if you've seen it, but as long as we hold our ground on these tariffs, it's going to fucking pay off. Look at Canada. They buckled. China is about to buckle their economy is about to take a shit, because they can't get rid of their product at that cost.
Speaker 2:All he's asking for is half of what we pay all these other companies, countries. If we pay them 49%, he only wants 25%. I don't understand why everybody's so mad about it, but the problem is, if we give in now, we've lost all. We've lost all. It's just like when you show your hand.
Speaker 1:We're all in. Now. We have to.
Speaker 3:We have to. It's like the alcohol effect it feels good now, but you're going to pay for it later.
Speaker 2:It's going to get worse or, like with this terrorist thing, it's going to get worse before it gets better.
Speaker 3:If it's a terrorist thing now, we fix it now. It's hard work but it pays off later. I, Because right now we are buying a lot of shit from China and everything I've ever bought from China I don't need. I agree, it's just extra stuff, but we're so dependent on buying this Amazon, this overseas, the China stuff, where we're going to have to start making it here if we want to make a difference.
Speaker 1:But here's the thing it's still a gamble. It can pay off, but the problem is that it boils back down to social media and the media you got Fox.
Speaker 2:And my mom was watching MSNBC.
Speaker 1:Everything is fine. If you just wait, we'll be okay. Blah, blah blah. You got CNN. Oh, the whole world's falling apart, blah, blah, blah. And it's like I don't think we'll see what he's doing now in his term. He won't, no, he won't, but people are treating it like he's done all this. It's a gamble, we don't know, but you're acting like people are already acting like it's working.
Speaker 3:That's just the magazine? No, it's not. I would love to see it working, did you?
Speaker 2:see the CNN deal where they fucking showed the $7?. They're like oh drill, baby drill, look at this, it's $7 for gas. And they did a Google. This just happened today. They did a Google search on this picture. This picture was from fucking five years ago or four years ago. It clearly shows the picture was you could always do that. You know that right. You can doctor anything.
Speaker 1:The image search. You can do an image search and it'll bring it up, but that goes back and forth the whole fucking politics career.
Speaker 2:I didn't even want to get off on a tantrum. I had to delete, literally delete, MSNBC off my mom's TV, because that's the fucking news source she's using. I'm like mother of God. You can't delete that channel you want to bet? My mom can't work that fucking remote. I deleted it, bro. She can only watch what I allow her to watch on there and I completely took it off Hulu.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, mama.
Speaker 2:Well, no now she's listening to CNN and I'm like, no, I'd rather you watch CNN than fucking.
Speaker 1:See, and I never watch it, man, I watch CNN and I watch Fox and I flip back and forth.
Speaker 2:You were one of the brands of that chick on there. It's NBC. The brown-haired chick. What was her name? You're always quoting her.
Speaker 1:Who.
Speaker 3:Pamela Anderson yeah, I like her, she's not on NBC.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you that I forget that.
Speaker 2:Mayhow or May, I don't know what her name is Mayweather no.
Speaker 3:Jeremiah.
Speaker 2:Mayweather fucking happened to file bankruptcy. No For what? Because he's rich, rich. Yeah, somebody said they had to file bankruptcy recently, but it was Stephen A Smith, so that.
Speaker 1:He was a Laker game the other night, so he's still got some kind of money. Yeah, maybe you're hustling.
Speaker 3:I appreciate the game.
Speaker 2:Maybe he's looking for fucking idiots to give him $60 a fucking workout.
Speaker 1:I know somebody who'll do that Right. I know somebody.
Speaker 3:I know somebody I can show you a kid how to lift a bunch of heavy shit in the house For free.
Speaker 1:I'll do it. I'll do it for $10 an hour. I'll do it for $35 and a chicken nugget, and that's the problem.
Speaker 2:He's there maybe an hour, so it's fucking $10. It's $10 worth of money.
Speaker 3:I just picture him going hey, lift that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Because we've been to several sessions. It's cost me at least I don't know five, six grand for him to fucking work out with this guy since the beginning of this year.
Speaker 3:That's kind of on you, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying, that's a reflection.
Speaker 3:You can't call him a fucking moron when you advocate him. There's no way that my kid's going to try to, behind my back, spend 300 bucks of mine and go. Oh well, I just assumed whatever. Or bucks a mile and go, oh well, I just assumed, whatever.
Speaker 2:Well, me and him have already had the conversation. Look, I need to know when you go. He goes. Well, I told you.
Speaker 1:First off, my kid's not going to go.
Speaker 3:My kid's not going to power lift.
Speaker 1:If you're not like dominant, like a top player in it, you're not getting. I'm not paying to go. That's what.
Speaker 3:I said I was like we'll keep the money and I understand where he's getting it.
Speaker 2:He's wanting to break the record for this district, which I think he can from bench, but you're not going to work.
Speaker 3:What's the record? Like two couches and a left seat 560.
Speaker 2:Oh, I think he can beat that, but you're not going to work out with this fucking guy that the guy all he's telling you is yep, lift. Oh, you should add five more pounds to that. You've been working out at least 36 times. They've been working out together. You haven't learned how to fucking lift weights after that? True, you need to fucking get out of weight. That's not your niche how about you get into fucking? Can I take your order at mcdonald's or something?
Speaker 3:right, because that's what he said he wanted to be a plumber and you spent three years of training and he's still an idiot and doesn't know what copper looks like. You might want to see him do something else.
Speaker 2:Right, I agree, maybe he's not a power lifter. Craig them coaches fucking do it for free at the high school.
Speaker 3:Why don't you teach him to have like Seth Moe Bro? He rips the fucking cords.
Speaker 2:Off the fucking equipment. I let him have. Rip the cord.
Speaker 3:It's all that power lifting.
Speaker 2:I feel like I'm California because I had to get everything battery operated, because he would just rip the cord off of it.
Speaker 3:How does he rip the cord off?
Speaker 2:He's strong as shit.
Speaker 3:So Arnold Schwarzenegger has no mower, probably because it just never worked.
Speaker 2:Well, no, he knows not to pull the fucking thing all the way past the stop.
Speaker 3:Oh is that the problem, mor? No, he knows not to pull the fucking thing all the way past the stop. Oh is that the problem, moron? I told you, moron, I thought you were saying he was pulling it too fast or something.
Speaker 2:No, no, no Breaking the cord. He's pulling it when he should have stopped three feet prior.
Speaker 1:Sounds to me like he's entitled.
Speaker 3:Sounds like Dad didn't teach him to fucking start a mower.
Speaker 2:I have several times. You know how many times I taught him and then put it back on not as many as the other guy did you know what you should do. You should feed him some rat poison too soon. Well, god, well, you know. Earlier we were talking about how I've had a really shitty week. God rest his soul. Well, almost so, my dog. You know, last last week I I've got a hot tub, so I put out.
Speaker 1:I.
Speaker 2:Googled.
Speaker 1:He's flexing.
Speaker 2:And on Amazon I expect all of you to do it. This is a public service announcement. Yes, I Googled pet-friendly rodent killer on Amazon. That's what I put in the search bar. The number one product that popped up is this stuff called Victor, victor with a J. I assume Jeff Bezos knows what the fuck he's doing and recategorizing shit. Right, I didn't look at the back of the bag and it has more skull and crossbones on this motherfucking thing, it says if you touch it, to touch it with gloves. Which one of you shit?
Speaker 2:God damn Farted Anyway yeah, I did not, anyways, so Get your breath.
Speaker 3:Where's the dog at oh?
Speaker 1:the mascot.
Speaker 2:Where's he?
Speaker 3:at the mascot's right here.
Speaker 2:I think he's trying to kill me. He's right there, Anyways, so my dog gets into. I cleaned it up. I think I cleaned it all up.
Speaker 1:His hot tub.
Speaker 2:He gets into some pieces of rat poison that I left, that was in the grass, that I didn't see. And so this is on Friday. He's not acting right. He's throwing up his food, he's phoning with the mouth. I'm like, oh, I feel like he got into the rat poison. I feel okay because I know it says pet-friendly rat poison.
Speaker 3:And you've already killed the cat, so you kind of know the stance.
Speaker 2:I didn't kill the cat but yes.
Speaker 1:I'm kind of noticing a trend here.
Speaker 2:I did ride around with the cat in the back of the truck for a fucking week. I feel like it was a few days.
Speaker 3:By the way, that's still a few days too many.
Speaker 2:Stephanie, you're hearing this. You know where I got rid of the cat at right.
Speaker 3:McDonald's dumpster? No, how do?
Speaker 2:you think I found out. You have your competitor right there, next to you.
Speaker 3:You know the dumpster we use.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's where it went.
Speaker 3:You threw it in my dumpster.
Speaker 2:Yes, Not yours, it's the carpet people's.
Speaker 3:Oh okay, the big giant, the 40-yard, yeah Okay, you know this died like on a Friday.
Speaker 2:Yeah, friday I got rid happened like on a Friday. Yeah, Friday. I got rid of it on Monday. So Mike comes over and goes, you've got to get rid of that.
Speaker 3:So you had a dead cat in a box in the back of your truck for three days.
Speaker 2:In a box. What's up, dahmer? I'm glad no one got into it, right.
Speaker 1:Maybe that's what Boomer got into.
Speaker 2:No, so let me get back to Boomer, because Boomer you know, he's alive barely, so he gets into it. Come Saturday. He's feeling a little bit better, but he's got a hurt toenail from the groomer, but he won't let you touch it. So I go to the vet, or not the vet. I go to the pet store and I get stuff called buzz butter. It's basically CBD, it's basically weed for your dog, and so I usually get extra of everything. So I bought three of these tubes.
Speaker 1:A thousand milligrams Of the.
Speaker 2:CBD. Did you pick up a blacklight too? So I feed him all three of them.
Speaker 1:You're going to borrow my lava lamp.
Speaker 2:And so he's like mellowed, the fuck out.
Speaker 3:Probably a cotton mouth too.
Speaker 2:What I realized is he's also high, but he's also dying. So 5 o'clock at night comes around.
Speaker 3:That's how I want to go. I need to take this dog to the vet.
Speaker 2:I can't let this dog die on my watch.
Speaker 3:Or on the stairs.
Speaker 2:Obviously, yeah, obviously the fuck it ain't pet friendly. Actually, Google find where I bought it. Flip it over. Read the bag, because it lets you have a picture. It is the worst shit ever for fucking any animal. You know what I mean. It says you're supposed to have it in these special traps. Why would you sell this four-pound bag of Skittle-looking rat poison to a common fucking guy on Amazon? They should just look. I could kill all y'all and nobody would even know it.
Speaker 1:Hey, they look like the green M&Ms. Leave those lying around for Nick's wife. She's liable to eat them and be all horned up.
Speaker 2:Bro, I'm telling you this dog at 6.30, 7 o'clock at night we're at the ER, the pet ER. I tell him he's gotten into rat poison. Which rat poison? I show them the rat poison. He goes, oh my.
Speaker 1:At this point he's bleeding from his nose and his gums.
Speaker 2:He's dying, he's dead. He's slobbered all over him. He's throwing up everywhere he can tell the demise is coming, the dog gone, this motherfucker. I can hear him listening to the basketball game on the computer at the reception desk. Who the dog was?
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:The receptionist and I'm like dude, I'm the only dog in the room, in the fucking whole waiting room. There's another couple, but they have a dog in the back. I'm like, bro, my wife. She's like no one's seen him yet. I'm like, nope, he's watching basketball, the dog. So we get back in there and I'm in there for a minute. I'm like, well, I mean, I did tell him he got into some poison. You know he doesn't look right. I figured they would hurry up a little bit. Well, the lady finally comes in, she looks at him, she takes him back, does some blood work First. They're like all right, sir, we've got to give you an estimate on this price. I'm like, really, how about you fix the dog and then I'll pay you anything you want?
Speaker 3:That's what the last guy said.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly $600 just to run blood work. Your name's on our board. I'm like here's my card $600 just to run blood work.
Speaker 2:Your name's on our board. I'm like here's my card. The doctor comes in and said look, he won't make more, he's dead. Basically, I'm thinking, really there's nothing. You can't be telling me this. I can't be responsible for this.
Speaker 3:It's not very good bets For another dog dying.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. So I'm thinking to myself there's got to be something. She goes well, not unless you're willing to spend anywhere from $40,000 to $50,000.
Speaker 1:Unless you're Jeff Bezos.
Speaker 2:And I'm thinking to myself Do you have a dick, rocket? Can you please fucking take this dog? I said, yes, she goes. You have to go to Dallas. I'm like you're going to tell me all this and now I've got to go to Dallas. I'm thinking, have went, she goes. Look, we have plasma, let's try this first. He comes out and he goes. Well, here's the number, Like you know, because obviously many people have said oh, that dog's dead. You know, when they show them the number of $3,900. That dog would be gone, by the way.
Speaker 3:I'm not sure if that's a tattletale of my finances, but if four grand comes out of my dog, it's like sorry, my bank account couldn't make it First.
Speaker 2:He goes. Well, we need a deposit.
Speaker 1:I need to re-up so it's $1,900 for the deposit.
Speaker 2:I'm like here he goes back and he goes. Oh no, the doctor says we have to have it all. I'm like bro, will you take the fucking dog? They still haven't taken the dog at this point to start treatment.
Speaker 1:It's because he's black.
Speaker 2:He's laying in there dying Well, luckily the nurse comes in and she's very sure.
Speaker 3:That's what it is, she understands where we're coming from.
Speaker 2:After we paid the money, they were like Johnny on the spot and I'm thinking to myself I'd go leave there thinking, you know, I just paid $3,900 to never see a dog again because she was very adamant that he wasn't going to make it All night long. They're sending me texts 5, 6 o'clock in the morning. Finally, they send me a picture and they're like oh, mr man, we found his favorite word, treat. Why do they call you Mr man? I'm talking about Boomer. Oh, you know. Well, mr man, we know we found his word treat. And they sent me a picture Boomer. Well, I got pictures of these dogs before and after.
Speaker 1:Okay, I just want you to know that $3,900 would have been a hell of a trip to Choctaw.
Speaker 3:Ooh, yeah, speaking of. Choctaw Cheese sticks and everything yeah.
Speaker 2:But the dog was basically dead. Right, yeah, but the dog was basically dead right yeah, but he's alive. He made it. He made it.
Speaker 1:He's home.
Speaker 2:So this is the text message back and forth.
Speaker 3:Here's the dog that's dead to my wife.
Speaker 2:You can upload this pic on the page. I will, and they're good pictures.
Speaker 3:You know, so we'll look for it later.
Speaker 2:This is the dog dead right In the fucking waiting room. That's dog alive. No, that dog is dead pretty much.
Speaker 3:He was on his way out.
Speaker 2:So that's what I get. That's the one I took, the one I get from the lady. This makes for great radio. I know I'm going to sit and put them all out there. So Mr man seemed a bit cramped in his kennel so he's been upgraded to his own suite and his magic word, we found out, is treat.
Speaker 3:Well, here's the picture I get. I don't want to look at it because it took us a long look at it Five o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 2:I knew then this dog was alive. You know he was going to make it.
Speaker 1:This show has spent too much wasted time.
Speaker 3:We're not nominated for any Emmys now I'm telling you All I know is look, you guys didn't lose a sponsor, there is a public service now yeah, victor Rat, poison will kill anything.
Speaker 1:Fuck.
Speaker 2:Victor, I think I'm going to put a lawsuit out, but they're going to ask me if I read the back. Who reads?
Speaker 3:instructions. I'd send them a strong worded email.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I'm going to fucking send them the picture that I have of I'd tell him no speaking, no, yeah, right, so I have the picture no, mama's way look, see the picture rat poison right above the fucking picture is a circle.
Speaker 3:It says I can't believe they don't know. The fucking boomer can't read.
Speaker 2:That's fucking wrong it's because he's black it is, but anyway. So the dog was dead. I mean, I picked him up the next morning. They called and told me to come get him. What did Jesse Jackson say about this? Look, they're actually planning the march this coming week Went down to S-A-L-U.
Speaker 2:And the way they brought it out is you know, he was a miracle dog on Easter. He survived fucking Easter dude, he was dead. This dog was dead. When I tell you he was dead, he was dead, this dog was dead. When I tell you he was dead, he was fucking dead, and they come back alive. That just goes to show. If you got money to spend, you could save a dog the sky's the limit.
Speaker 2:Save a horse when this dog gets old enough to where he needs to be put down, I'll I'll just shoot him, you know what I mean, because if he's like a couple times, or no, just take once. But aren't you almost like, if he gets sick, god forbid couple times?
Speaker 1:No, it would just take once he's got a small brain. But aren't you almost like if he gets sick? God forbid knock on wood if next year he gets sick.
Speaker 3:Did you just tap your head for knock on wood?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, no, no, If he's dying of old age.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. But like, if next year something's happening and they're like, well, it's going to feeling visit like I just spent 3 900, and now I gotta keep them during the first 400 they could break me right now I swear when I told her I don't care what it costs.
Speaker 2:That's when they fucking got another you know step in their giddy up and was like, oh, let's get this. And the whole time I think they're just about to take all my money for nothing.
Speaker 3:Well, that's what you're gonna have to do next time is just have cash on on you, bro, if I and said Just walk in with like three grand. Drop on the counter and go get to work right now.
Speaker 2:You could tell her face when I said all right let's get it rolling.
Speaker 3:Did you give him a tip?
Speaker 2:No, I didn't give him a tip. Actually, he gave me money back because when we picked him up they were like we love him to death.
Speaker 1:It didn't. Actually we could have walked up in that Choctaw like the hangover movie. Just walked up in there and just started taking random women, dudes, wives.
Speaker 3:In matching suits.
Speaker 2:You're not walking anywhere $3,900, just taking everybody If you were wearing those jumpers, like I said to you. But you know, everybody knows I have a gambling addiction.
Speaker 1:And so my mother? God rest her soul. No, she's still alive.
Speaker 2:She had Some eye surgery this week so I had to go take care of her. Her fucking doctor is in the Parking lot of the Grand Casino In Oklahoma. In the parking lot when I mean it in the parking lot, literally in the parking lot. You walk across the little median in the parking lot, literally in the parking lot. You walk across the little median, you're at their doctor the whole time. I'm going, man, I want to go to some pad, I want to go to some bed and I wanted to tell her Mom. I did tell her. I was like you know, they have the best buffets in there.
Speaker 3:The best chili burritos next to that slot.
Speaker 2:If I could have just got her in there. If I could have just got her in there she goes. I don't have money. I was a ball. Look, I just spent $3,900 on a dog. You don't think I got an extra couple hundred dollars for you to put in a slot machine, If you could slip into that casino just for like three hours what was your?
Speaker 3:go-to game. What would you go to? I'd go to roulette, roulette.
Speaker 2:That's the Straight up.
Speaker 3:That's where I go straight to after I hit the fucking ATM twice In all honesty, if you had a hundred bucks you threw on there and you could play for an hour, would you be up or would you be digging in your pockets?
Speaker 2:Depends. It depends on how. If I hit big and then I'm trying to chase that high or that I could slow, fuck it, what Well, I could sit there and bet.
Speaker 3:Hey.
Speaker 2:Stephanie, will you Google that I could?
Speaker 3:bet on the outside. She already knows I'm familiar with that gambling term.
Speaker 2:The bet minimum and not win shit. She already knows Me, I don't know the fascination, okay once. I hit a lick, I'm going to start dumping on that lick to double it, to triple it, and if I lose that, that's after I go back to the ATL.
Speaker 1:That's the only place he wins money. I win all the time at the. Atl, that's my favorite game, actually until it says you reach your daily limit right which I've been there it is what it is.
Speaker 3:So I okay let me ask this is it the high? I mean you said just the high of chasing, that is that like a really kind of a euphoric thing? Yeah, that's.
Speaker 2:That's why. That's why gamblers are addicted, and it's I'm gonna ask is I don't? Know that's, that's what they're chasing, but they're chasing that win.
Speaker 3:Some people get addicted to something. I'm like how do you get addicted to eating chalk and shit?
Speaker 2:that's an idiot right when you fucking, when you get mine's different though, and you win big like you've won $25,000 on a hit before.
Speaker 2:So when you win like that, what did you put up for the $25,000? I think I sat there a while and was betting On roulette. Oh, I was putting fucking black and $25 on numbers instead of ones and fives or tens. I'm putting green chips all up the board. That's 32 to 1 odds. That's a fucking hit. And then when you got two of them green chips sitting there and it hits, that's 50 bucks on 32. What's the quick math?
Speaker 3:15 000 plus. We know his math jesus christ what'd?
Speaker 2:you say it was, if you so it's like fifteen hundred dollars it's I think it's sixteen or seventeen hundred, something like that. On on fifty bucks which is great, yeah, right. And then you, you know, and then what happens is I get over the, the $1,600 or $1,700, something like that On $50, which is great, yeah, right. And then what happens is I get over to the fucking craps table. The buffet, no, the craps table.
Speaker 2:That's where it gets me. Craps table will get me, because I'll have the whole table full of chips and sit there and give it all back where I should have just walked away.
Speaker 3:You ever thought maybe you're just not good at these games.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, probably, that's probably it. It's a game of luck, right, all game other than slot machines, and I don't know how Mike wins all the time on slot machines.
Speaker 3:Well, I don't either.
Speaker 1:Because that has got to be the fucking biggest racket there is yeah, but I don't win like 10 grand, I just win 1,200, 1,300.
Speaker 3:Just one grand or two grand?
Speaker 2:To where me? I'll put fucking 15 grand in that machine and not win a dime.
Speaker 1:Yeah see, I don't even take that much money with me. You're better off doing lottery scratch-offs.
Speaker 3:Or lines of cocaine.
Speaker 2:You know, I do like the way it smells, so I've heard.
Speaker 1:Well, I think that we have one email that we need to get to. We've been sidetracked this whole show, so we need to get back to that email, so let's hit that thing. 2025 this is the coolest part of the show, where we read your emails on the low but the best part is hearing the phone so let's get to this shit bro so
Speaker 1:we have one email today because that's all I want to read and it's from Miss Virginia. She wants to. She says, first of all, I love the show. The Past Month she said she loves hearing a woman's voice on the show.
Speaker 3:Thank you. Thank you, I appreciate that and she wants to hear more of the Steffers.
Speaker 1:Hey hey, hey, miss Virginia. Right that's enough. Shut up, shut up.
Speaker 2:She did ask if we had you on. Can I show her the whole setup? And she goes do y'all cut her mic off? I'm like no, she's in charge. Now she can cut our shit off, throw a chunkle at her, a chunkle.
Speaker 1:Y'all are the stars I can't take y'all. Shine away.
Speaker 2:I mean, we are stars, to like four or five people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wait, there's four or 30 now.
Speaker 2:You seen the last one? We're wrecking it in on the nightly shows. We've made $80. Actually, no, we've made $100. Somebody else gave $20. Did you see that?
Speaker 3:No $20.
Speaker 2:Somebody signed up for the show Said shut the fuck up, Somebody is a sponsor because, every you know. It says do you want to help contribute?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:They've contributed fucking $20.
Speaker 3:They've signed up for the membership. Okay, I enjoy Miller Lite.
Speaker 1:I need to send them an autograph.
Speaker 2:I'll find it. I think I can look and see who it is, but somebody's donated $20 to the show. Okay, and then we did get $80 from Miss Chloe Lori Chloe Lorraine.
Speaker 1:From my rendition who Well, from my musical rendition of Oasis. I know you were getting ass raped or down south, whatever.
Speaker 3:I was doing With Jose.
Speaker 2:But if you'd listen to the show, a lady thought we were this band and she was pissed off because she gave $80 to hear Oasis, wonderwall, wonderwall. Wonderwall so we sung it for her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I sung it like he sings Happy Birthday. This is one of the episodes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yes, I didn't hear that one.
Speaker 1:It was about a month ago.
Speaker 3:I've listened to almost every one and maybe I missed one. Yeah. Seriously I yeah, seriously, I've had it.
Speaker 2:But yeah, we did. She gave us 80 bucks, you know, sent it to us because she wanted to hear the song Wonderwall. And then she was upset. I can't believe y'all didn't sing Wonderwall. We were like, first of all, we don't sing, but we got you, so we made sure she didn't lose her money oh yeah took her fucking money.
Speaker 3:I didn't know how to give it back. That's what I'd say too 80 bucks is 80 bucks.
Speaker 2:It would have been at least one fucking session for my son to go lift weights, that's true, this is true.
Speaker 1:That's for the courses side. Well, nick, welcome back. Glad to see you, glad you were able to come home. Even though you're just visiting, you know you're welcome anytime.
Speaker 3:Of course I appreciate that we just need a 30-minute notice, right.
Speaker 1:At least All right. Well, it was a good show, guys. Y'all have a great week. Happy, whatever's coming up this weekend, oh well, last thing.
Speaker 2:Happy Boxing Day. Didn't one of us have the Pope on our Deadpool, did we? I think one of us did Gosh dang. So, nick, you want to throw in three names, you think?
Speaker 1:that may die. Next I got.
Speaker 2:Biden. He had Biden also, but I chose Biden. No, I did.
Speaker 1:Biden, or was that you? You're Biden, Michael J Fox and Bruce Willis.
Speaker 2:No, that was you. I was Biden, I'll take Michael J.
Speaker 3:This is Bruce Willis. No, that was you, I was Biden.
Speaker 2:I'll take Michael J. This is horrible. I was Biden Michael.
Speaker 3:J Fox, bruce Willis and Clint Eastwood.
Speaker 2:I said Biden and Cosby. I'll take Gene Hackman and then someone else, or Gene Hackman, bill Cosby yeah, I think he dies soon.
Speaker 1:Craig, you also had.
Speaker 2:Don King there you go. That Don King was his first one, but I thought somebody had to poke.
Speaker 3:When it hit I was like Yahtzee, yahtzee. Terrible way to win points. All right, peeps. Y'all have a good week.
Speaker 1:See y'all next week.
